Tag Archives: Troyzan

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Battle of the Bulge

Reynold Survivor Immunity IdolLast week we talked about our disappointment in the casting of Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit to Quit, as the producers seemed to have emphasized loud, dramatic, troublemakers over solid, interesting, sane players. We drew attention back to Survivor: Palau, which featured none of those emotionally unstable, wildcard types and, yet, proved to be perhaps the show’s finest season. Why? Because this show is so good, because it puts ordinary people in such incredible, extraordinary situations, that you don’t need to manufacture drama. If you just let the game play out, let the interpersonal dynamics take over, then you have magical theater. The kind that we actually do get at the end of last episode of Caramoan. However, while the denouement was a pleasant surprise, what the episode mostly did was grant attention to the two most volatile personalities out there, Brandon and Shamar, validating their petulant and borderline-psychotic behavior.

Russell Hantz, for the record, was a fascinating, nuanced character (at least at first). Brandon Hantz, on the other hand, is all the worst parts of his uncle, all id, no strategy. He may have his uncle’s blood, but that doesn’t mean he got his gift for the game, or even his flair for havoc.

Actually , Brandon that’s literally how genetics works. DNA is passed down through generations. Although, what you might be feeling is those leeches sucking out your blood. You should probably get a medic to look at you.

More: A pocketful of Shamar, a pocketful of Kryptonite…

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: One World’ Finale – Tops and Bottoms

[SPOILER ALERT!!!]

“I know I lied to you and voted you out, but I have no boobs left so have a little mercy.” – Kim 

It is somewhat fitting and poetic that in a game defined by boobs – both anatomical and intellectual – it was the least endowed woman who triumphed over her more busty peers (and, no, we’re not talking about Nina).  In the end, it’s not what you have here (pointing to our chest), but what you have here (pointing to our head).  And whatever Kim may not have or may have lost in her bosom, she certainly more than made for up with her brains (we could also note how she played the game with a lot of heart, but that would require also pointing to our chest, which would confuse the whole point.  She also played with a lot of guts, but if we’re going to point to anyone’s stomach, it’ll be Colton’s to giggle at his doughy appendix scar).

More: The road to the final goes through the Valley of the Fallen Mikes…

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Flashback!, Freak Out Control, The Worst, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: One World:’ Child’s Play

Following Troyzan’s exit on last week’s Survivor: ONE WORLD! the vibe was tense back at the former Big Mike’s Co-Ed Dorm, with Kim spooked by Troyzan’s last words to Kat: DO IT.  It’s haunted all of our memories since:

But what did he mean???  What secret deal did Kat and Troyzan have?  What did those magic words express?  Were those the same words that Bill Murray uttered to Scarlett Johansson  at the end of Lost in Translation?  Were they trigger words intended to set Kat off into a hypnotic state?  Well, no, none of those things. He was just rattling the cage.  But he did a good job of it.  Enough to make Kim, queen of Survivor but always a bridal shop owner and never a bride, nervous about Kat’s continued presence in the game.

More: It’s Family Day! And things get weird.

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‘Survivor: One World’: You Are the Weakest Link

Quick look back at last week’s Survivor: ONE WORLD! before the new episode airs in a few hours.

First, let’s get right to it, this week’s Who Wore It Best?: 

Lorenzo Llamas or Troyzan???

You decide!

It’s right into the reward challenge, where this week’s reward is, yet again, a trip to a remote tropical island complete with an island meal. So, once again, pretty much the status quo.  However, this time Kat gets pissed that always a bridal shop owner never a bride Kim wins the challenge and goes back on her word, taking Chelsea instead of Kat to the island feast.  Not fair, Kim!  Kat never gets to eat!

More: Hose down the yard cause it’s Slip-and-Slide time!

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, Saved by the Bell, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: One World’ – Survival of the Stingiest

Another episode of Survivor: ONE WORLD! is coming up oh-so shortly, so let’s quickly take a look back at last week.

Troyzan is down, but he’s not out.  And more than that, he’s really loud and annoying about it, with Jay’s departure a clear indication that he’s staring down the barrel of Kim’s gun (and with Kim being a bridal shop owner, we can only assume it’s a very nice, well-fitting, lacy revolver).  Does Troyzan see the writing on the wall and attempt to quietly turn the superfluous members of Kim’s army against their lady-master?   Nope, he’s just really cranky and obnoxious, totally offended that they dare turn against Troyzan, and pretty much warns everyone that they will live to regret this, and that he will hunt down and murder them and their families, Keyser Soze style.  He doesn’t say this per se, but he definitely gives that impression.  Hey, it’s Troy’s island, and he doesn’t let anyone forget it.

Read on: Ladies and Gentlemen, start your monies…

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‘Survivor: One World’ – Going with Your Gut

First off, we apologize for the two-week hiatus.  We took, what we consider to be, a well-deserved holiday, and are just now getting back into the swing of things.  However, while we were gone Survivor: ONE WORLD! just kept going, including a shake-up at Big Mike’s Co-Ed Dorm that displaced its namesake.  With the Salami and Manano-hope tribes merging earlier than anyone could have or should have expected, the game, as Tarzan would say (and does repeatedly), is afoot, and head into this lastest episode with always-a-bridal-shop-owner-never-a-bride Kim at a crossroads: does she stick with her alliance of four with Chelsea, Troyzan and Jayzan, or maintain her gender ties with the original Salami tribe.  She straddled both sides for a couple Tribal Councils, convincing Jay and Troyzan to vote out the biggest of the Mikes, but now she must pick her side and reveal her true colors.

For Tarzan it’s all just fun and games, but for the rest of the players this is real.

Read on: Jay’s stomach was bigger than his eyes…

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‘Survivor: One World’ – Karma Right Back At Him

For the last few seasons we’ve become increasingly irritated by the presence of God, or, rather, some players’ insistence that he (or she!) has some influence on the game of Survivor, from Matt justifying his repeated exile to Redemption Island as part of Jesus’s plan to Brandon Hantz invoking the will of the Lord in his quest to purge Mikayla from the game (and maybe the Earth) because of her fictional harlot tendencies.  For one season we can deal with these bible thumpers, but as it became a consistent aspect of the game, it became grating, obnoxious even.  Sure, God may love Survivor, but as a true fan he would never get involved.   When it comes to Survivor, God is agnostic, and if he had a dog in the fight, it wouldn’t be someone from the God Squad, it would be a rough and tumble champion, like Sophie or Lt. Tom Westman.  But even if God had a rooting interest, we were sure that he (or she!) had no impact on the game, just like he has nothing to do with Tim Tebow (unless sending him to the Jets is God’s idea of a holy hilarious joke).  However, after this week’s Survivor: One World! we’ve changed our mind.  Because if that wasn’t divine intervention, if that wasn’t an instance of God reigning down vengeance from above, we don’t know what is.

Read on: What goes The Worst comes around…

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, God Laughs, The Worst, Tribal Council