Tag Archives: Always Be Clueless

‘Survivor: One World’ – The Game is Afoot, Smelling a But

What continues to astound us about Survivor players, season after season, is how little they understand the format of the game, how they continue to be surprised by surprises they should have seen coming, if only by the precedent set by every season of the show ever.  And what’s particularly interesting in a contradictory way is how they’re so myopic in looking so far ahead.  By already thinking about the end game – i.e. we have a strong alliance that can take us to the end, or at least to the merge – they fail to acknowledge or comprehend the twists and turns that will come along the way, i.e. a tribe shake up.  Because OF course that’s going to happen, ESPECIALLY since the tribes were originally drawn up along gender lines.  When you have such a stark contrast between teams, it’s a matter of a when, not if, the tribes will be realigned.  By handing over immunity to the Salami Tribe last week the men may have accelerated the tribe shake up, but it was a foregone conclusion to occur sometime soon.

As such, the universal look of shock on the players’ faces when they learned at the beginning of this week’s Survivor: ONE WORLD! that the tribes would indeed be redrawn was shocking, but only because they should have seen it coming.  To not have anticipated this shows how clueless these people really are, even Colton, who has self-professed himself to the master of this game.

And what’s up with Monica?  In the first episode she refuses to do a strip tease, then offers to do a pole dance in the third, and now this?  Lots of mixed signals, Monica (also, are you an ex-football player‘s wife or an ex-football player’s wife?  We’re a little confused.  Like we said, lots of mixed signals).

Click here to see Monica strip!

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, The Worst, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: Redemption Island:’ Gods and Mobsters/We’re Going to Need a Bigger Redemption Island

Survivor Redemption IslandWe sincerely apologize for the absence of Redemption Island recaps the last month; Gawker.TV ceased publishing weekly recaps and our day job has been monopolizing our time.  But, with the finale airing tonight night, we felt it was our responsibility (and our pleasure) to give some thoughts on what’s transpired since our last recap and what is still to come.

Before we delve into the eliminations, duels, blindsides and bonehead moves of the past month, it’s come to our attention that we’ve been going easy on Matt and his love of Jesus.  So, to right that wrong, we’re going to go ahead and dedicate the first part this post to Matt and his savior.

“Are you there, God?  It’s me, Matt.  Why have you abandoned me?”

“Because, Matt, I don’t care about reality television.  I’m the almighty creator, and I have infinitely more important things to do than interfere with or preordain some reality show competition.  And if I were to get involved with any of these shows, it wouldn’t be Survivor, hands down it’d be Top Chef, because a) I fancy myself as a bit of a foodie and b) have you seen the rack on Padma?  One of my finest creations.”

“Oh, so that one set of footprints.  That wasn’t you carrying me on your back?”

“Nope, no way.   All you, buddy.”

“Shit.”

Read on: Some more Matt bashing, why Boston Rob does and doesn’t deserve to win, and our FINAL prediction…

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Filed under Analysis, Be careful what you wish for, Century 21 Reality, It's gross., Tribal Council