We’ve gone ahead and ignored all your pleas for us to cease and desist and have reached yet another milestone on this blog: 800 posts (and counting). We kind of crawled our way from 700, with the latter half of 2012 and the early part of 2013 being monopolized by professional obligations, but we’re still extremely proud of hitting this mark. More importantly, we’re reenergized, emboldened to continue (sorry, everyone!), remaining your number one source for Survivor Celebrity Look-Alikes, Gallagher commentary, general nonsense and the occasional insight. As we march forward towards 900 (and god willing or god forbid, depending your stance, 1000), we hope you stick with us, even if you only end up here because you were searching for a State video that has been blocked. As a thank you (AND an apology) here’s a video State-member David Wain made for his wife’s birthday:
We promise that we’ll watch Breaking Bad one day. We PROMISE (we already watched the first three episodes when they originally aired – and we liked them! – so we’re basically half way there). But it’s okay, because we’ve already seen Bryan Cranston – today’s popular search term – push drugs. The guy boasts a long history of drug use and/or dissemination, well before he shaved his head to become Walter White. Like when he knocked out Jerry Seinfeld with nitrous oxide (and took a hit himself). We all remember that, right? And just a year later, there he was, trying to turn the impressionable young American public onto Excedrin. Really, it’s just a short trip from Aspirin to Meth.
And before we can get to Breaking Bad we need to finish The Wire. But we won’t be surprised if we find Cranston working one of the corners there.
Today some of you ended up here by searching for the term “lorne michaels,” and it’s no surprise that query directed you to this blog, as rarely an SNL post goes by without a mention the father of the Not Yet Ready For Prime Time Players. But you already know about Lorne Michaels: creator of SNL, executive producer of Late Night, inspiration for Dr. Evil, point of obsession for Marc Maron, Canadian. So we tried to find something different, something new, and in doing so came across a sketch titled “Not Lorne Michaels.” Except, upon watching the sketch, we discovered that Hulu must have posted the wrong clip. The description says “Tommy Flanagan tricks Rosanna Arquette into her thinking he’s executive producer Lorne Michaels,” but what plays is an introduction from New York Mets pitcher Ron Darling, apologizing to the audience for the Mets’ epic game six victory in the 1986 World Series, an extra-innings affair that preempted SNL and resulted in the episode airing on tape delay two weeks later, new but not live. This fascinated us for three reasons: 1) we’re colossal Mets fans, and basically worship the 1986 team as if they are demigods, 2) we didn’t know their victory had an effect on something we love with almost as much reverence, and 3) a clip that is titled “Not Lorne Michaels” is also not the right clip. It’s almost as if Lorne was determined to get the last laugh, refusing to let anyone impersonate him. Either that or someone at Hulu just totally screwed up.
Last week in our Community season recap (and Dan Harmon era post-mortem) we listed our top five episodes from the series’s three seasons. We included on that list “Contemporary American Poultry” because, besides being brilliant, it was the first episode to truly bring it all together and show what that series could be, the way that it could play with genre but still be entirely Community. But if we had to identify when we fell in love with the show, that would have to be “Comparative Religion,” just a few episodes earlier. While not as strong of an episode, certainly not as ambitious, it was the first episode we were excited to watch again (and we did). If “Poultry” was the promise of what was to come, “Religion” was the promise of the promise of what was to come. Which is why we were so pleased to see “anthony michael hall on community” as one of today’s top search terms.
That could be one of the top search terms for as long as this blog exists and we would never complain.
Boy, you people sure are insatiable. We’ve spent the last week writing about Community and The Office and Kristen Wiig, and yet all everyone seems to want to see on here is Chelsea from Survivor: ONE WORLD!, with queries for the South Carolina native dominating the top search terms bringing readers to Jump the Snark. So, fine, you win. One last time, here’s Chelsea:
There’s basically been one item – neigh, one person – who has been dominating our top search terms for the last few weeks. Today is no different, with the list reading as follows: “chelsea survivor, survivor chelsea, survivor one world chelsea, chelsea survivor 2012.” So, you know what, we’re beyond being clever these days. We’re just going to give you what you want (and this was one of the few days that did not also include the word “boobs” in that group).
Also, this is our 700th post!!! Yes, we’ve continuously fallen short of our goals and quotas, but it’s still nice to reach that, ahem, round number, and what better way to celebrate than with something that everyone (who is male and/or likes oiled up, surgically enhanced bodies) can enjoy. We were going to have special novelty glasses made up for the occasion, but they would have been asymmetrical and that totally would have bothered us, so you’ll just have to wait til our 1001th post.
Thanks for memories! (you two, Chelsea. And no, that was not a typo).
We made a joke last week in our Survivor: ONE WORLD! recap about girls having tiny brains, just not having the mental capacity to compete with the male sex. But, hey, that was all in good fun. And we would never legitimately call these women or any women dumb. But Nina -a women herself – has no problems doing so. And she pretty much does so for forty-four minutes in this episode. Also, Kat is really dumb. We know what we said three sentences ago, but, empirically, scientifically, she’s a numskull. Our word, not Nina’s (her’s was “nitwit.” Also accurate).
But do you know what Kat also is? She’s a master of fire, and she wastes no time in picking up where we left off last week, telling us that no one touches the fire but her, not even the men who were so chivalrous enough to keep the Salami Tribe’s fire going while they were off at Tribal Council bickering and voting off no one. Because even if the fire went out, she could start it right back up. No big.
Tell em, Kat!
Things are starting to fray at Salami, but Alicia’s not worried. A) She’s won’t be weighed down by appropriate fitting clothing, and B) she’s got her alliance.
Read on: The women get a taste of their own medicine. And what’s that in the woods???
We’re bringing this “daily” feature back after a too long hiatus (mostly because we’ve been busy, but also because our search terms everyday for the last six weeks have all been some variation on “Survivor Federal Agent Phillip”), today working with a non-Phillip term, “www.cbs/jeffprobst.” Last week on Redemption Island Probst played with fire, just dying for a fine from the FCC and a rash of angry letters from the Parents Television Council. Luckily, he toed the line, and while it seemed like he was just begging to blunder (a la Jenny Slate), he managed to somehow get out the following challenge commentary without explicitly describing a lewd act (but certainly suggesting it). We included this in our recap, but it’s worth posting again. Probst, living dangerously!
Oh, and if you were really curious (although, why you would search for a url, we don’t know), check it: cbs.com/jeffprobst
A quick one tonight because we need to get to the Survivor: Redemption Island recap straight away.
Looks like some of you have gotten to our little site from using the term “last supper imagery.” We’re assuming this contingent was a mix of bible scholars and Lost fanatics. But our post tonight is going to address neither of those groups (and possibly offend the former). Tonight, this one’s for people who like to dip their balls into things.
We like to think that Jesus would find this sketch pretty funny. Because if you can’t laugh at one of your apostles betraying you and delivering you to crucifixion, then what can you laugh at?
The bulk of our daily search terms continue to be Survivor: Redemption Island related – Phillip, Survivor Phillip, Former Federal Agent Phillip, Kristina boobs – so we’re going to work with the odd man out in the group, “jumped the snark.” And we’ve previously established that when our search term is “jumped the snark” it’s a wild-card day, we can post anything our little R2D2 Mr. Potato Head heart desires. And our little R2D2 Mr. Potato Head once again desires to honor the work of Judd Apatow.
This past weekend brought us the long-awaited Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared reunions at Los Angeles’ Paley Center (which you can read much more about here). It’s truly amazing to see these kids grown up, truly amazing that they’ve almost all gone on to successful careers as adults, and perhaps most truly amazing of all is that none of them have developed a serious drug problem (excluding an apparent affinity for the wacky tobaccky). We frequently mention Freaks and Geeks on this blog, so we’re going to shine the spotlight on Undeclared this time around.
Here’s a clip from the series’ third episode, “Eric Visits,” which contains probably our favorite Undeclared exchange. At about the 30 second mark please enjoy Seth Rogen’s thoughts on a certain Tom Hanks romantic comedy.
We feel the same way.