There’s never a day of Today that goes by without something interesting (or absurd) happening, and not a day goes by without a drink or two. Apparently, they’ve now exhausted more palatable Tuesday Boozeday options and have turned to petroleum. And it quickly goes to Hoda’s head, as she has a real hard time paying attention to Kathie Lee’s riveting childhood tale.
Ladies, you should know by now that the quickest way to get on The Soup is to ask not to be on The Soup.
Also, seems like Hoda’s been taking her cues from Survivor: One World’s Kat:
Boy, you people sure are insatiable. We’ve spent the last week writing about Community and The Office and Kristen Wiig, and yet all everyone seems to want to see on here is Chelsea from Survivor: ONE WORLD!, with queries for the South Carolina native dominating the top search terms bringing readers to Jump the Snark. So, fine, you win. One last time, here’s Chelsea:
“I know I lied to you and voted you out, but I have no boobs left so have a little mercy.” – Kim
It is somewhat fitting and poetic that in a game defined by boobs – both anatomical and intellectual – it was the least endowed woman who triumphed over her more busty peers (and, no, we’re not talking about Nina). In the end, it’s not what you have here (pointing to our chest), but what you have here (pointing to our head). And whatever Kim may not have or may have lost in her bosom, she certainly more than made for up with her brains (we could also note how she played the game with a lot of heart, but that would require also pointing to our chest, which would confuse the whole point. She also played with a lot of guts, but if we’re going to point to anyone’s stomach, it’ll be Colton’s to giggle at his doughy appendix scar).
More: The road to the final goes through the Valley of the Fallen Mikes…
Following Troyzan’s exit on last week’s Survivor: ONE WORLD! the vibe was tense back at the former Big Mike’s Co-Ed Dorm, with Kim spooked by Troyzan’s last words to Kat: DO IT. It’s haunted all of our memories since:
But what did he mean??? What secret deal did Kat and Troyzan have? What did those magic words express? Were those the same words that Bill Murray uttered to Scarlett Johansson at the end of Lost in Translation? Were they trigger words intended to set Kat off into a hypnotic state? Well, no, none of those things. He was just rattling the cage. But he did a good job of it. Enough to make Kim, queen of Survivor but always a bridal shop owner and never a bride, nervous about Kat’s continued presence in the game.
More: It’s Family Day! And things get weird.
Quick look back at last week’s Survivor: ONE WORLD! before the new episode airs in a few hours.
First, let’s get right to it, this week’s Who Wore It Best?:
Lorenzo Llamas or Troyzan???
It’s right into the reward challenge, where this week’s reward is, yet again, a trip to a remote tropical island complete with an island meal. So, once again, pretty much the status quo. However, this time Kat gets pissed that always a bridal shop owner never a bride Kim wins the challenge and goes back on her word, taking Chelsea instead of Kat to the island feast. Not fair, Kim! Kat never gets to eat!
More: Hose down the yard cause it’s Slip-and-Slide time!
Another episode of Survivor: ONE WORLD! is coming up oh-so shortly, so let’s quickly take a look back at last week.
Troyzan is down, but he’s not out. And more than that, he’s really loud and annoying about it, with Jay’s departure a clear indication that he’s staring down the barrel of Kim’s gun (and with Kim being a bridal shop owner, we can only assume it’s a very nice, well-fitting, lacy revolver). Does Troyzan see the writing on the wall and attempt to quietly turn the superfluous members of Kim’s army against their lady-master? Nope, he’s just really cranky and obnoxious, totally offended that they dare turn against Troyzan, and pretty much warns everyone that they will live to regret this, and that he will hunt down and murder them and their families, Keyser Soze style. He doesn’t say this per se, but he definitely gives that impression. Hey, it’s Troy’s island, and he doesn’t let anyone forget it.
Read on: Ladies and Gentlemen, start your monies…
We’re a little slow getting to this because we were out-of-town, but during our hiatus we couldn’t help but notice the title of an Entertainment Weekly Survivor:ONE WORLD! recap that was curiously similar to one of our own. Take a look.
Notice that our recap went up at the end of April, analyzing the second episode of the season, whereas the EW headline appeared just a couple of weeks ago, covering one of the episodes that we missed. Now, we’re big fans of Dalton Ross and his recaps – in fact, we might even say that he’s an inspiration – but you can’t argue with the facts here. Not only did they use a very similar title, they utilized “boobs” double meaning, as both a literal reference to cleavage and as a playful description of the questionable decisions made by the tribe members. It’s pretty clear-cut.
But, hey, you decide.