Yesterday, in a kind of pretzel-logic, möbius strip-like turn of events, a paparazzi captured photos of beloved New Yorker, Yankees fan and celebrity vigilante Alec Baldwin pinning another paparazzi against the hood of a car. The native Long Islander is no stranger to run-ins with the parasitic photographers, and if he ever did run for Mayor, as long rumored despite no political experience or indication that he’s interested in the job, we can rest assured that he’d make cleaning the streets of NYC’s vile, insipid paparazzo his number one campaign promise, and he’d likely exterminate them with extreme prejudice. Which got us thinking, although Warner Bros. just cast Ben Affleck as Batman in the upcoming Man of Steel sequel, wouldn’t Baldwin be perfect as the new Caped Crusader? Early, pre-Affleck, casting buzz speculated that Zack Snyder was looking for someone “established and rugged.” Check and check for Baldwin. In addition, he’s got both the strong, square chin and the requisite raspy Dark Knight baritone. And, as his latest altercation with the paparazzi proves, he’s plenty experienced in disposing of Gotham’s miscreants, thugs and riffraff. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the guy can fill out a tux like a true billionaire.
Here’s an artist’s rendering of what Batwin would look like:
Plus, The Shadow is one of the few masked crime-fighter movies that was more poorly received than Daredevil, so Baldwin no doubt has something to prove.
It’s our first week of the No Reynold Club on Survivor: Caramoan – 2 Legit 2 Quit, and the remaining members of the Edamame tribe are really starting to show the strain of the game. Eddie sees the writing on the wall, as the last remaining male fan and Uno Amigo he’s likely the next to go. Unless, of course, he can hook up with another girl, expose her to the Curse of Donkeylips, and watch her be sent off to Ponderosa. But would he hook up with an old chick like Sherri or a mom with a bottom retainer like Dawn? “Gross” he no doubt says to himself upon considering his options. Brenda? “Too into pig brains,” he likely reasons. So a reunion with Team Bro – Spring Break in Caramoan, y’all – is what Eddie expects to come shortly.
Cochran is also beginning to see the writing on the wall. Except this scribbling says that he now might be the biggest threat to win, that despite Erik’s abs and Eddie’s
lisp lips he’s the alpha male on the island, and as such the bullseye might now be on his back. Dawn, to her credit, hasn’t cried in a…oh, no, wait, here come the waterworks, never mind.
Erik, on the other hand, clearly hasn’t recovered from the diabetic shock he experienced after devouring those chocolate glaze donuts last week, and he’s beginning to hallucinate, stuck in some kind of vivid fever dream, a mysterious voyage. Or perhaps, to teach Erik a lesson about voluntarily bowing out of challenges, Jeff Probst laced the pastries with some peyote. Either way, he’s seeing things.
More: Say hi to your mother for me…
In any season of Survivor capitalizing on the moment to strike is of paramount importance, and this has been especially relevant on Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit. Ages from now, when Survivor is long gone and young scholars pore over old texts written about a forgotten television program hosted by former President of Earth Jeff Probst, they will read the story of Caramoan, and it will be the story of Stealth ‘R’ Us, and of those who tried to fight back against the ruling alliance. For that has been the theme of the season, not so much if, but when, a group of insurgents will break apart the dominating force. As a result of poor timing, Corinne failed in her attempt at a coup, and, likewise, Malcolm overplayed his hand and tried to strike too quickly. He was successful in deposing Former Federal Agent Fillip, but, perhaps, FFAF wasn’t the head of the snake after all. He was the outspoken face of Stealth ‘R’ Us, but, in the end, he might have just been a figurehead, the Mandarin, a red herring dangled out as bait. And with Fillip gone, and the corporation starting to fray, it’s only a matter of time before someone makes a move. Could be someone outside the controlling alliance, or could be someone from within. It doesn’t really matter who it is. What matters is when.
But even though there’s a storm coming, and they’re now down to just two amigos, Reynold and Eddie are in good spirits. They won’t let the loss of Malcolm stop them from a good
high five fist bump.
More: Tribal Councils on Tribal Councils on Tribal Councils…
On Survivor, such as in life, if you don’t learn from the past then you’re doomed to repeat it. We see this time and time again, as if to illustrate to young, aspiring players what not to do, teaching us lessons while we watch from our couches. Don’t get involved romantically, don’t go home with an Idol in your pocket, don’t throw challenges. Watch, observe, absorb, and if something doesn’t work, don’t try it again. However, while the power of history is strong, it is no match for hubris; it cannot outlast, outwit, or outplay the person who believes that they can go right where others have gone wrong.
Last week on Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit, Corinne believed that she could turn the game on its head, upend her alliance and install herself as new Queen of the island. But, even with the numbers already in hand, she got too confident, too sure, and talked too much. She flew too close to the sun and not only were her wings burned, so was her blue bikini. She had the opportunity to make a gigantic move, but overreached, talked to Dawn, and became the author of her own demise. Hopefully, one would think, that the other players would take notice and not commit the same mistakes. However, this is Survivor. History repeats itself. But, thankfully, in oh so different and mind-blowing ways.
Continue: Bro down or bro, down?
Pi Day is here again, and we’re going it commemorate the way we always do, not by acknowledging that π is perhaps the most important mathematical constant, but by celebrating the only Pi more important than 3.1415, that being, of course, the pizza pie. And who are the only people who love a good pizza pie more than we do? No one. No one does. But who loves a good pizza pie as much as we do? The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Duh! Whether in animated form or pixellated or live-action or live in concert, there’s no questioning the young amphibian fighters zeal for pizza (there is, however, some question about their topping choices). If only eating that much pizza would give us super strength and agility, instead of just making us sleepy and languid.
Let’s just hope that Michael Bay gets the pizza right in the upcoming TMNT reboot. Completely abandoning their original origin and turning them into aliens (and contradicting their very name) is one thing, failing to honor their insatiable love of pizza is a whole ‘nother. That’s heresy.
Happy Pi Day!
With the long Halloween nearly over it’s time to commemorate the day the way we commemorate every great holiday, with a nod to one of the most under-appreciated shows of its time – neigh, of any time – The Adventures of Pete & Pete. Like the show did with New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day (and, as we’ll see in just a few short days, Daylight Savings), Pete & Pete refused to let a great holiday pass by without putting their very specific mark on the event. We proudly present, once again, “Halloweenie.”
See you 3am Sunday.
They’re taking on the comic book world as well.
I had a long, busy day so I’m just getting to the Muppet Monday post now. In lieu of this, and for the sake of brevity, I’m going to paste an email from Jump the Snark BFF Steve Ponzo:
Maybe a future Muppet Monday for you…
also here at David Petersen’s blog on jan. 5th he posted a bunch of new images:
That’s right, a new Muppet comic book! So now they’re officially taken over TV, Disneyland, the web and your local comic book store. Next stop Broadway? Or maybe they can partner up with Conan on a new venture.
Oh, and make sure to check out Steve’s blog, His Still Life. He’s an artist, and a good one.