Tag Archives: 30 Rock

The Return of the King

Since sources indicate that the Cavaliers are delivering a strong pitch to LeBron James to return to the Cleve, I thought we’d have a little fun, step into the fantasy machine, and imagine what King James might look like in a Cavs uniform, should he choose the city so nice the Browns have called it home twice. This is a very crude mock-up, but I think it gets the idea across: LeBron would look GREAT in the ol’ blue and orange. The talk is very preliminary, but it just feels right, doesn’t it? LebronPrice

Sure, we’d all like to flee to the Cleve. But it looks like LBJ just might do it.

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Filed under Matt Christopher Books, MS Paint

Forget Batfleck, How About Batwin?

Yesterday, in a kind of pretzel-logic, möbius strip-like turn of events, a paparazzi captured photos of beloved New Yorker, Yankees fan and celebrity vigilante Alec Baldwin pinning another paparazzi against the hood of a car. The native Long Islander is no stranger to run-ins with the parasitic photographers, and if he ever did run for Mayor, as long rumored despite no political experience or indication that he’s interested in the job, we can rest assured that he’d make cleaning the streets of NYC’s vile, insipid paparazzo his number one campaign promise, and he’d likely exterminate them with extreme prejudice. Which got us thinking, although Warner Bros. just cast Ben Affleck as Batman in the upcoming Man of Steel sequel, wouldn’t Baldwin be perfect as the new Caped Crusader? Early, pre-Affleck, casting buzz speculated that Zack Snyder was looking for someone “established and rugged.” Check and check for Baldwin. In addition, he’s got both the strong, square chin and the requisite raspy Dark Knight baritone. And, as his latest altercation with the paparazzi proves, he’s plenty experienced in disposing of Gotham’s miscreants, thugs and riffraff. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the guy can fill out a tux like a true billionaire.

Here’s an artist’s rendering of what Batwin would look like:

Alec Baldwin Batman

Alec Baldwin Batman2

Plus, The Shadow is one of the few masked crime-fighter movies that was more poorly received than Daredevil, so Baldwin no doubt has something to prove.

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Filed under Comic Book Guy, Geekery, Local Flavor, MS Paint

Goodbye Ann Perkins, We Hardly Knew Ye AKA What Do You Do With a Problem Like Rashida?

Three weeks ago sources revealed that Rashida Jones and Rob Lowe would be leaving Parks and Recreation midway through its upcoming sixth season. News about the impending departure of unlucky in love Ann Perkins and perfectionist City Manager Chris Traeger was expectedly met with some sadness and disappointment by devoted Parks and Rec fans. The cast of the NBC comedy has developed into one of the strongest ensembles on television, and, with the exit of The Office and 30 Rock last season, Parks and Rec is poised to be NBC’s number one workplace comedy, with the citizens of Pawnee providing the most colorful and entertaining array of recurring characters and bit parts this side of Greendale Community College. Losing two main cast members is a bit of surprise, a curious altering of a formula that seemed to be working so well. But here’s the thing: we actual welcome the change, as it will solve the show’s most glaring problem, a significant flaw that has existed since episode one: what do you do with a problem like Rashida?

More: On not keeping up with the Jones

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Filed under Analysis, Be careful what you wish for, Better Late Than Never, Count Bleh, Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam, Must Flee TV, Must See TV, Yasmine Bleeth

Branch Closing – A Farewell to ‘The Office’

We very clearly remember the moment that we fell for The Office, the NBC stalwart that closes up shop at Dunder Mifflin tonight after nine mostly great seasons. It was the fall of 2005, when The Office was starting to find its legs after a rocky and uneven six episode first season, and we in our first autumn post-college, back at our parents’, and for the first time since we were four-years-old not attending school. We were at our best friend and future roommate’s house, hanging out, maybe barbecuing, maybe drinking a few beers, maybe watching the first season of Lost on DVD, which dominated much of our time (and thoughts) during that period. We knew about the The Office, another blatant attempt to import a UK hit stateside, but missed its brief run earlier that year, as was the case with the aforementioned Lost, as the only shows we watched religiously during our final year of college (and last few months before true adulthood) were The Simpsons and Survivor. We did, however, recall reading that it was an imperfect translation of the original, and the Steve Carell-led vehicle – who was then best known as the other Steve from The Daily Show –  was not likely to resurrect NBC Thursday night Must See TV, let alone make it past Season 2. So with the middling reviews in mind, and the fact that we were unfamiliar with the original Ricky Gervais version, we didn’t go out of our way to watch the show. But that night changed everything.

More: But that was just the beginning…

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Filed under Across the pond, Back to the Past, Brilliance, Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam, Freak Out Control, Good Humor, Is That Still On?, LOST, Must Flee TV, Must See TV

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Mutiny Aboard the S.R.Us. Fillifore

Stealth R UsOn the last Survivor: Caramaon – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit we were privy to one of the greatest, most unexpected Tribal Councils of all-time, with confusion going into the vote causing to Malcolm flip his vote to Reynold and then subsequently persuade Reynold to gift his own Immunity to Malcolm. That series of events we knew would be hard to beat, even to approximate. To think so, to hope so, would be reckless and negligent, and truly unfair to the institution known as Survivor. 

But this show is predicated on surprising you. And just when you think you’ve seen it all, there might just be another shocking, breathtaking turn of events right around the corner.

First, these kids are creepy. An unwelcome visit from Kid Sister and My Buddy. Can’t tell if they’re expressing joy or crying for help, like Hasidic children on a school bus.

Enil Edam Flag

Continue: Dawn’s a damsel in distress…

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Filed under Analysis, Brilliance, Century 21 Reality, Freak Out Control, Tribal Council, What? Too fabulous?

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – The Devil’s Hantz

Brandon Hantz Meltdown Well, we all saw this coming. We saw this coming back on South Pacific when he accused Mikayla of being an evil temptress, and we saw this coming when he went back and forth and back with his relationship with God and spoke of battles with inner demons. And we saw this coming in episode two of Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit when, in beautiful night vision, his neck tattoo glistening in the twilight, he threatened to go on a rampage. So no one – no one – should have been surprised when Brandon Hantz finally lost it on Survivor: Caramoan. Which isn’t to say it was predictable, or that it wasn’t riveting, truly unsettling television.

But first, who’s that girl next to Michael and Eddie?!

Survivor Caramoan Julie Oh, right, Julia. That person that exists on the Fans tribe. At this point, she’s our pick to win it all, solely because everyone will keep forgetting that she’s there and no one will ever write her name down. Also, she might be a ghost.

More: Seriously guys, you should really hide rice and beans…

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, It's gross., The Worst, TV Killed the Music Video Star, Winterfallen

Parting Shot: Electile Dysfunction

Ladies and Gentlemen, we now project me, Brian Williams,  to be the 45th President of the United States. 

 

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Filed under Checks & Balances, Huh?, Parting Shot