2014/06/06 · 3:25 pm
First, an apology: I was derelict in my responsibilities during this last season of Survivor, posting only a single recap in spite of yet another strong entry into the series. I can offer neither excuses nor reparations, just the promise that I will try not to be so negligent again. Trust me, I missed the recaps more than you, so it’s something I really hope to get back to. I can’t promise that this won’t happen again. But I promise I’ll try.
Now that my mea culpa is out-of-the-way, let us go ahead and – despite the season ending weeks ago – discuss the Survivor: Cagayan finale, as I finally got to the last few episodes this week and it’s still fresh in my mind. Cagayan continued what has been a string terrific, engaging, surprising Survivor seasons, a red-hot streak that has been the show’s renaissance, proving the series to be just as entertaining and relevant in its 28th season as it was in its first. And this season featured, if not one of its best players, one of its boldest, not-cop cop Tony, the Sole Survivor and winner of the million. To use a phrase that I really don’t care for, Tony played balls-out from day one, making alliances, immediately breaking them, swearing on his dead father’s grave like it had the weight of a Facebook RVSP, digging up Immunity Idols, lying about Immunity Idols, creating paranoia, letting his own paranoia persuade him to blindside players in his alliance, building #SpyShacks, and totally vexing his fellow Survivors and, often, himself in the process. It wasn’t the cleanest Survivor game ever, quite the opposite, but it was effective. Tony played big, was never out of the spotlight, but always managed to hang onto control of the game, partly because of his “bag of tricks,” but partly because no one else wanted to sport his bullseye. But being so omnipresent, so visible, often seemed to take Tony out of the discussion for elimination. Like the purloined letter, he was hidden in plain sight, deftly (sometimes) keeping his alliance committed and loyal and keeping himself safe. In the end, especially in a final two against Woo(!), Tony deserved to win the million. However, while Tony did the most to earn the victory, I was surprised at the lack of respect for Kass’s game, who likewise played a bold, unpredictable, cutthroat and successful (but just not successful enough) game.
Read on: Goats and Llamas
Filed under Analysis, Better Late Than Never, Century 21 Reality, Look-Alikes, MS Paint, Tribal Council, Winterfallen
Tagged as #ChaosKass, Always Be Chaos Kass, Cagayan, Crow T Robot, Damon Wayans, Dermot Mulroney, Doogie Howser, Dylan McDermott, Game of Thrones, Goat, Herb & Jamaal, In Living Color, Jefra Bland, Jeremiah Wood, Kass, Keno, Koala, Mariah Carey, Men on Film, Morgan McLeod, MST3K, Punky Brewster, Robb Stark, Sarah, Survivor, TMNT: Secret of the Ooze, Tony, Trish, Varys, White Walker, Woo
2014/03/05 · 3:17 pm
Survivor is back! And, from the looks of it, Jeff Probst is in no mood. It’s been quite some time since we were offered an all-rookie season of Survivor, and after three great seasons back-to-back-to-back, it would not have been surprising to see the show go to the returning player-well once again (indeed, ever since the fireworks of Russell vs. Boston Rob: Round 1 in Heroes vs. Villains, it seemed like all-newbie seasons might be few and far between). But, perhaps in an effort not to exhaust Survivor of its most precious Cochran and Reynolds and Aras natural resources, the show is going au naturale in its twenty-eighth(!) season.
Which isn’t to say that there are no unique wrinkles this time around. As the show has been teasing since the Blood vs. Water reunion, Survivor: Cagayanandonandon separates the players into the three tribes: Beauty, Brawn, and Brians (a group which, surprisingly, features not a single Brian). And Jeff gets things going right away, asking each tribe to quickly and essentially without deliberation pick a team leader, and then Jeff directs that specified leader to immediately identify his or her tribe’s weakest link. So, for the newly anointed team captains, this is (seemingly) a big opportunity to shed either the tribe’s weakest player or the group’s biggest threat. Sarah, on the Lloyd Braun tribe decides to single out
Skeletor Trish, reasoning by her emaciated looks that she’s just finished up playing at least two Survivor games back-to-back and probably is just a tad fatigued from 78 straight days without proper nourishment. Over on the We’re Also Beautiful on the Inside Tribe, LL Cool LJ tabs human floatation device former NFL Cheerleader Morgan, labeling her as “hot,” which makes her more dangerous than her “cute” tribemates. Dude’s got a good system. Watch out for that guy. Not-Brian leader of the Brians David wastes no time in selecting Garrett, the marble statue to his left. David clearly saw some muscles on Garrett that he didn’t know even existed, and deduced that he’s too serious of a threat to help the tribe win a challenge and must go. These three players, YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK, GOODBYE!
More: David & Goliath, Samson & J’Tia
Filed under Analysis, Broadway!, Century 21 Reality, Tribal Council
Tagged as #spyshack, Always Be Crunching, Blood vs. Water, Boston Rob, Brian Tribe, Cagayan, Cliff Robinson, David, David Samson, Frank Lloyd Wright, Garrett, Get to the choppa, Goliath, J'Tia, Jeff Kent, Jeff Probst, Jose Reyes, Kass, Lego Movie, Lloyd Braun, Maria!, Mets, Miami Marlins, Morgan, Police Academy, Ric Flair, Russell, Sophie, Survivor, The game is afoot, Tony, West Side Story, Woo
2013/03/18 · 5:00 pm
Well, we all saw this coming. We saw this coming back on South Pacific when he accused Mikayla of being an evil temptress, and we saw this coming when he went back and forth and back with his relationship with God and spoke of battles with inner demons. And we saw this coming in episode two of Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit when, in beautiful night vision, his neck tattoo glistening in the twilight, he threatened to go on a rampage. So no one – no one – should have been surprised when Brandon Hantz finally lost it on Survivor: Caramoan. Which isn’t to say it was predictable, or that it wasn’t riveting, truly unsettling television.
But first, who’s that girl next to Michael and Eddie?!
Oh, right, Julia. That person that exists on the Fans tribe. At this point, she’s our pick to win it all, solely because everyone will keep forgetting that she’s there and no one will ever write her name down. Also, she might be a ghost.
More: Seriously guys, you should really hide rice and beans…
Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, It's gross., The Worst, TV Killed the Music Video Star, Winterfallen
Tagged as 2 Legit 2 Quit, 30 Rock, Alex Trebek, Always Be Crazy, Ants in the Pants, BeKool, BMX Bike Sales Matt, Brandon Hantz, Bro Body Douche, Caramoan, Dane Cook, Don't Break the Ice, Eddie, Fans vs. Favorites, Fighting, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Game of the Thrones, Ghost Whisperer, Goya, Grenada, Jackass, Jeff Probst, Johnny Appleseed, Julia, Legends of the Hidden Temple, loco, Long Island Medium, Michael, Mikayla, Pedro Zamora, Phillip Sheppard, Puck, Pyat Pree, Real World, Reynold, Ric Flair, Rocky, Russell Hantz, San Francisco, SF, Shamar, South Pacific, Spaceballs, Superman, Survivor, Vulcan Nerve Pinch, Woo