Category Archives: TV Killed the Music Video Star

What If…John Lennon Lived?: The Untold Story of The Beatles in the 1980s

Everyone knows that, for all intents and purposes, The Beatles ended with John Lennon’s passing in 1980. But what this email presupposes is, maybe they didn’t. What if John Lennon was not tragically lost on that cold December night, at just 40-years young? A reunion, one would imagine, was inevitable. So what music, what art, may The Beatles have created if they just had more time together? What if indeed.

Well, let’s imagine, shall we?

December 25, 1980: An unexpected Christmas Day phone call from Paul McCartney to John Lennon re-opens the lines of communication between the two old friends, and soon reignites their creative spark. With little haste they reach out to George and Ringo (in that order) and preliminary plans are hatched to reunite and begin work on the Beatles comeback album. 

February 14, 1981: Somewhat fittingly, the band commences songwriting for their new record on Valentines Day, taking up residence at NYC’s Electric Lady Studios. A heavily New Wave-inspired album, it is to be titled Burger Night, named for their weekly order from the famous “The Famous Cozy Soup & Diner.” 

March 7, 1981: After a night of jamming at John’s (and a few cocktails), the band decides to cash a check from a few years earlier, heading down to 30 Rock to crash that night’s taping of Saturday Night Live, hosted by its former star Bill Murray. The band takes the stage after “Saturday Night NewsLine,” ripping through “Helter Skelter,” the first ever live performance of “Maggie Mae” and a cover of “Jailhouse Rock.” [note: this was Jean Doumanian’s final episode as SNL executive producer]

May 12, 1981Burger Night is released worldwide. It’s a smash hit. The band commemorates the debut with an unannounced performance atop the London Palladium. 

Summer 1981: The band embarks on the Burger Night World Tour, their first live tour in 15 years. Not surprisingly, all 75 dates are sold out. 

September 1981: Energized by the tour and getting along like the early years in Liverpool, the band quickly returns to the studio to record their Burger Night follow-up, Overnight Trains, exploring some disco grooves that didn’t make it onto Burger Night. They hustle to complete the album by the end of the year. 

December 1981: Exhausted after almost a full year of recording and touring, they retreat to their respective homes for a much needed break. On Christmas Day Paul places another call to John, cementing the tradition. Meanwhile, Phil Spector mixes the new album in London. 

January 26, 1982Overnight Trains is released to middling reviews. “Dashed off,” “Inessential,” “Regretful” are some criticisms levied by British rock journalists. The band is crestfallen, admitting to themselves that they probably had a little too much fun making the record. They decide not to tour in support of the album, and instead focus on the solo projects they put on hold before reuniting. 

Summer 1982: John pops-in on George somewhere in England to hear a new tune he’s working on with Eric Clapton. It is there that John is struck by an idea for the next Beatles record. 

November 16, 1982:The Beatles: JohnPaulGeorgeRingo is released. It’s a massive quadruple set, essentially four separate albums with each Beatle taking a turn as the primary songwriter and singer. Fretting about his contribution, and declining assistance from his bandmates, Ringo quietly turns to Elton John as his ghostwriter. The collection connects with both fans and critics, the latter of whom are especially impressed with Ringo’s tracks.

1983: The band takes a year off with very few appearances, save for George’s brief (and nearly impossible to spot) cameo as a Stormtrooper in Return of the Jedi. 

Fall 1984: Working with producer Brian Eno, the Beatles make their 80s electro-pop concept album. Unable to agree on a title, it’s simply released with a solid blue cover and the words “The Beatles.” Fans, of course, refer to it as “The Blue Album.” Their music video for “Slough Off” directed by Terry Gilliam, receives regular airplay on MTV, and is The Beatles first bonafide hit on the fledgling network. 

July 13, 1985: After performing only periodically the previous year, the band headlines Live Aid at Wembley Stadium. As the show was running behind the bands scheduled ahead of The Beatles were forced to trim their performances, most notably Queen cutting “We Will Rock You” from their set. Bob Geldof will later say “without The Beatles there is no Live Aid.” 

August 12, 1985: A cover of Martha & the Vandell’s “Dancing in the Street” featuring John Lennon and David Bowie, originally recorded for Live Aid, is released and rockets to the top of the charts. The collaboration angers Paul, and band relations are strained once again. 

September 1985: Inspired by a trip to Africa in the wake of Live Aid, the band puts their mounting tension aside to record an album with distinct Mbaqanga influences. The process is tumultuous and fraught with disagreements. They concede to go on a limited tour, mostly smaller arenas and theaters, on the condition that they take an indefinite hiatus upon its completion. The band cancels the last 3 dates of the tour, citing “food poisoning.” 

July 8, 1986: The album, transatlanticism, is released to great acclaim. Paul Simon’s Graceland, another album drawn heavily from African music, debuts the following month and is considered an inferior facsimile, leading to a long period of depression and inactivity for Simon, but ultimately culminating in his successful reunion with Art Garfunkel, a fruitful partnership that continues to this day. 

October 25, 1986: John delivers a rousing rendition of the “Star Spangled Banner” before Game 6 of the World Series in front of a raucous Shea Stadium crowd. Inspired by the performance, the Mets pound out 4 runs in the first inning, cruising to an easy victory, despite a pinch-hit 9th inning home run from Red Sox first baseman Bill Buckner.

August 7, 1987: After putting his film producing career on hold, George returns to Hollywood with Masters of the Universe, the big screen adaptation of the He-Man saga. Harrison also produces and appears on the soundtrack, including the mildly successful single “Touch of Grayskull.” Ringo stopped by for a small role as one of Skeletor’s henchmen. 

January 20, 1988: All four Beatles come together for the first time in almost two years for their induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Paul refuses to be inducted by Mick Jagger, so Little Richard subs in at the last minute. John later prevents an incoherent Ringo from grabbing the microphone during their acceptance speech (we’ve all seen the YouTube clip), and the Beach Boy’s Mike Love jumps in to calm down Starr (later that year Ringo returns the favor and plays steel drums in the music video for the Beach Boys #1 hit “Kokomo”). However, After witnessing Ringo’s worsening condition first-hand, the band makes a promise to return to the studio if Ringo can commit to his sobriety. The following morning Ringo checks himself into rehab. 

April 1988: Deciding to keep his schedule open for a Beatles album, George declines an invitation to join The Traveling Wilburys, and the Wilburys instead recruit Phil Collins to round out the group. Their first album, The Wild Wilbury Revue, lands with a thud, and the band no longer records or performs after Roy Orbison’s death. 

February 14, 1989: On Valentines Day once again (as chosen by John), The Beatles enter Abbey Road studios to record their 5th album of the decade. With a clean, sober and reinvigorated Ringo behind the drums, the band embarks on what is one of their most creatively fulfilling recording sessions. 

August 21, 1989: Beatles Forever hits Sam Goody stores across the US and is released worldwide the following day. It is hailed as a return to form by Beatles purists and regarded as a seminal album for new fans. Somewhere in Seattle a young Kurt Cobain hears John’s lyric “there is no light in the darkness” and samples the line in “Territorial Pissings,” a track from Nirvana’s sophomore album Nevermind. John would later induct Nirvana into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2014, performing that very song with Cobain. 

January 28, 1990: The Beatles and Their All-Star Band headline the Super Bowl XXIV Halftime Show in New Orleans, marking the first such time one of music’s biggest acts took center stage at the game (apologies to “Up with People“). Somewhere on Long Island Billy Joel decides to keep writing and recording music until the day he dies. 

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Filed under Across the pond, TV Killed the Music Video Star

Angels and Demons: On the MTV ‘Real World’ Marathon

Real World Los Angeles Ahead of the premiere of the twenty-eighth (!) season of The Real World, set somewhat curiously in Portland, MTV has scheduled a weekend marathon of three “classic” seasons of the trailblazing reality show. Starting Friday night at 8pm MTV will air the first entry in the series, the groundbreaking Real World: New York, followed by the booze and sex soaked Las Vegas season Saturday at 2pm, and rounded out by the Puck and Pedro-fronted season three, Real World: San Francisco, beginning 8am Sunday. While we applaud the selection of NY and SF as 66.6% of the marathon, we cannot support the further promulgation of Las Vegas, especially at the expense of more worthy, important, less debaucherous seasons like Los Angeles, New Orleans, Seattle, or even the underrated Miami.

Choosing New York to lead off the marathon is a no-brainer. It was not just the first season of the long-running series, it defined what the series would be. Like Richard Hatch on the maiden season of Survivor, The Real World: New York set the mold for what this show would be, and, in many ways, set the course for Reality TV for the next twenty years. It’s cultural relevance and impact cannot be understated. Likewise for San Francisco, which was even more captivating and controversial for its inclusion of Pedro, an HIV positive Cuban-American, and Puck, a bellicose bike messenger with questionable hygiene and even more questionable social skills. This season – with its portrayal of a gay man (living, not dying) with AIDS and the caustic, boorish punk who alienated his housemates to the point of eviction – truly launched the show, and as well as awareness of the deadly disease, into the public consciousness, establishing The Real World as an MTV institution and a cultural phenomenon with immense significance. Nearly ten years later, Las Vegas began to undo everything that San Francisco and its peers has established.

Read on: Sin City or the City of Angels?

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Filed under Analysis, Nostalgia Corner, The Worst, TV Killed the Music Video Star

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – The Devil’s Hantz

Brandon Hantz Meltdown Well, we all saw this coming. We saw this coming back on South Pacific when he accused Mikayla of being an evil temptress, and we saw this coming when he went back and forth and back with his relationship with God and spoke of battles with inner demons. And we saw this coming in episode two of Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit when, in beautiful night vision, his neck tattoo glistening in the twilight, he threatened to go on a rampage. So no one – no one – should have been surprised when Brandon Hantz finally lost it on Survivor: Caramoan. Which isn’t to say it was predictable, or that it wasn’t riveting, truly unsettling television.

But first, who’s that girl next to Michael and Eddie?!

Survivor Caramoan Julie Oh, right, Julia. That person that exists on the Fans tribe. At this point, she’s our pick to win it all, solely because everyone will keep forgetting that she’s there and no one will ever write her name down. Also, she might be a ghost.

More: Seriously guys, you should really hide rice and beans…

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, It's gross., The Worst, TV Killed the Music Video Star, Winterfallen

The Pope’s Last Supper

The Pope-a comes to Visit

Today Pope Benedict XVI officially resigned from the Church, waving goodbye to the Vatican and the millions of Catholics who believed he was infallible. But what did he do for his last night as Pope? Well, as you might imagine, he celebrated with a big pasta dinner, and things got a little pazzo (like Gallagher show crazy). See exclusive footage here.

When can only hope that the next Pope demonstrates such mercy.

 

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Filed under God Laughs, The State, TV Killed the Music Video Star

Burger Prince: Fielder Once Again Wears the Crown; Plus a Requiem for Rock N’ Jock Softball

Last night Prince Fielder became only the second player to win the MLB Home Run Derby twice, equaling the feat achieved by Ken Griffey, Jr (whose success in the event can no doubt be attributed to the freedom to wear his Mariners cap in his preferred backwards position, enlivening him and providing optimal comfort in the batter’s box).  The derby itself, taking place at the Kansas City ballpark that most of  the country just learned is named Kauffman Stadium, was an interminable display that painfully reflected the American ideal of bigger is better, an incessant cacophony of  bombastic, intolerable, verging on nauseating home run calls (the half-life on Chris Berman’s “back, back, back, back….GONE!” is exactly two).  Three hours into it, and there we still were for some reason, watching Prince Fielder and runner-up Jose Bautista tee-off on meatballs lobbed in by AARP-card carrying batting practice pitchers (or, in Robinson Cano’s case, disappointed fathers).  One can only watch baseballs be launched into centerfield fountains so many times before the tweens earnestly but unsuccessfully shagging pop flies quickly become vastly more entertaining.  We freely admit that there was a time when we were once highly engaged in the Home Run Derby.  But now, what we wouldn’t give for Roger McDowell and a cow in right field.

But it wasn’t just our yearning for something more exciting and less vacant that reminded us of MTV’s Rock N’ Jock Softball.  We couldn’t help watch Prince Fielder deposit ball after ball into the right field stands and not remember first seeing him as a young boy accompanying his father Cecil “Big Daddy” Fielder at those true mid-summer classics.  Unfortunately, as Grantland notes in its superb primer on the halcyon days of Rock N’ Jock, video of those games is stunningly difficult to find online.  You can spot Cecil in the starting lineup during the Star Spangled Banner in one of the earlier match-ups, but that’s about it.  Other than that brief appearance, tragically, there’s no video evidence that Cecil was a Salamander or an Aardvark, let alone any footage from those MTV broadcasts that show a young baseball prodigy named Prince, and we’re all losers for it.

However, there is some proof of Prince’s early talent.  However, this phenom ability was found in throwing a baseball, not sending it 440 feet with a Louisville Slugger, as illustrated by this 1992 McDonald’s commercial with Cecil.

Although Prince is on the other side of the ball in this commercial he still comes out on top.  Burger royalty then, baseball royalty now.

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Filed under Count Bleh, Matt Christopher Books, Nostalgia Corner, TV Killed the Music Video Star

We Finally Weigh-In On the Queen Latifah Rumors

Keeping with today’s theme, we’re going to address the recent rumblings about Queen Latifah’s sexuality.  Last month word spread across the blogosphere that Queen Latifah declared herself a lesbian at the Long Beach Pride Festival on May 19th.  But she later denied those reports, explaining that her unity with the gay community does not necessarily equate with her coming out of the closet, and she refuses to comment further either way.  And we respect her feelings on the matter and her preference to keep her private life private.  But we don’t care either way; you be you, Queen.  What do know, however, is that the girl can play ball, for whatever that’s worth.

Take a look at this classic highlight from the 1994 MTV Rock’n’Jock B-Ball Jam and draw your own conclusions.  Or don’t.  Or do and keep them to yourself.  That’s your right too.

Also, Dan Cortese.

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Filed under Interweb, Matt Christopher Books, TV Killed the Music Video Star, You Decide

One Crazy Weekend

Well, it’s back to the grind after a long, boozy, enjoyable Memorial Day Weekend.  But so much happened!  And all while Lauren was away.  Hard to believe.

(sorry, we just never get tired of this)

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In Memorium: Andy Rooney

Well, he hasn’t left this earth, but he’s leaving 60 Minutes.  And we should take this moment not to remember Rooney’s 1,097cantankerous, complaint-filled segments, but rather this clip from Beavis and Butthead, which first (tangentially) introduced us to the thorny, opinionated, very old (even then) man.

(and it’s because of this video that up until a few years ago we weren’t certain of the difference between Andy Rooney, Mickey Rooney and Mickey Rourke)

 

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Filed under In Memoriam, Is That Still On?, TV Killed the Music Video Star

Recap: The MTV Movie Awards

Jason Sudeikis proved himself a songsmith and a piano man, and, perhaps more importantly, showed with his subtle but unmistakable bite and subversion that he’s maybe not ready to join the Hollywood Elite that this awards show falls all over itself to celebrate.  It wasn’t Gervais territory, but it seemed that Suds wasn’t afraid to bite the hand that feeds.

Best part:

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The rest of the show featured Twilight winning pretty much every award, save for the insipid “Best Line From a Movie” statue, which at least went to a seven-year-old, hopefully shaming the award from ever appearing again.

But we have to admit, despite our seething disdain for Twilight (admittedly having never seen the movies or read the books), we can’t help but really, really admire Kristen Stewart, if only because she seems to be straining ever fiber of her being not to say “fuck you” to everyone in the audience, including her fans.  She’s always genuinely awkward amongst a sea of people who feign awkwardness, and she seems to grasp just how ridiculous this show is, and by extension the whole Hollywood machine.  Kristen, you’re okay by us!

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Filed under Mancrush, TV Killed the Music Video Star, Yasmine Bleeth

Jason Sudeikis About to Become the Sort of Celebrity He’s Currently Creeping Out

In three days Jason Sudeikis will host the 2011 MTV Movie Awards and he’ll officially have achieved a new level of fame, joining the esteemed ranks of such past hosts as Will Smith, Ben Stiller, and Mike Myers (and for some reason Lisa Kudrow).  And with Horrible Bosses coming out this July, in which Sudeikis shares top billing with Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jennifer Aniston (2nd Friends actress in as many sentences!), Sudooks is poised to claim a spot on the A-List.  That’s still a few weeks away, but soon we’ll look back with fondness at moments like this, when Suds was still (barely) small-time enough to believably irritate some of Hollywood’s best, prettiest young actresses.  Although, even now, it’s a big stretch.

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And one more.

And, for good measure, one classic MTV Movie Awards clip.

Via Splitsider

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Filed under Mancrush, TV Killed the Music Video Star, Yasmine Bleeth