Category Archives: Crucial Taunt

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Hope Floats (But Heavy Wooden Chests Don’t)

Survivor Challenge Wooden ChestLast week’s episode of Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit began with another temper tantrum from Brandon upon returning from Tribal Council. This week, not to be outdone, Brandon’s counterpart on the Fans side, Shamar, sounded off loudly after the vote. We talked in our last post about our uneasiness concerning these two bellicose, volatile players, that their unhinged – and often selfish – behavior would unfairly take center stage, and this happened once again in the latest episode, right off the bat. Here’s how it sounded at Goata camp.

Keep Reading: Here comes the Blind Side…

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Crucial Taunt, Lists, Saved by the Bell, The State, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: Filippines’ – Deal or No Deal

You may recall in our first Survivor:Filippines recap that we related a story about a friend asking us if and how Survivor can possibly still be entertaining after so many seasons, and we noted that despite over a decade of challenges and Tribal Councils and blindsides, the show manages to somehow, incredibly, keep offering something we’ve never seen before. And this week’s episode was yet another example of that, and it kind of left our jaw on the ground (just COVERED in mud).

It all unfolds at the Reward Challenge (and boy are we happy that, with the three tribes whittled down to two, we’ve narrowed the focus and returned to separate Reward and Immunity Challenges). The challenge begins promisingly enough, first with our first glimpse Jeff Probst, always a delight, and second with the introduction of the challenge course, which is essentially a single-ball version of American Gladiators’ Atlasphere. However, unlike his namesake, Michael “Two Skupes” Skupin, is not as successful in navigating the field as legendary Gladiator champion Wesley “Two Scooops” Berry. Pretty soon, it just turns into a mud stalemate.

And then Howie Mandel appeared, as if out of thin air…

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Crucial Taunt, Mustachio'd, Tribal Council

In Memorium: Tony Scott AKA ‘Top Gun’ and the Need for More Than Speed

Ask us what our three favorite movies are. Go ahead. Ask us.

Number one would probably be Wayne’s World. That’s just our movie. The one of which we know every word. The one we would just play over and over again the background, as if it was our Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. The third movie we’d list would probably be Tombstone or Rushmore, depending on what kind of mood we were in or the audience we were with or if there was someone we were trying to impress; Tombstone if we wanted to seem more original, more honest, more badassRushmore if we wanted to seem more intellectual, more sophisticated, more melancholy. But the second movie on our list would no doubt be Top Gun, the Tony Scott film that was played on repeat during our childhood and pretty much taught us what an action movie should be: adrenaline-fueled, testosterone-soaked, hyperactive, supercharged, bombastic, loud, and frenetic, a visceral thrill ride. It essentially defined 80s popcorn blockbusters. In fact, it kinda defines the 80s. And maybe that’s why it’s so significant to us, why we still hold on so dearly to Scott’s definitive film (with all apologies to Crimson Tide and True Romance, and no apologies to anything from Scott’s later collaborations with Denzel Washington).

But it’s more than that. Maybe ‘Top Gun’ is just good.

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Filed under Crucial Taunt, In Memoriam, Nostalgia Corner, The Big Screen

Introducing: Great 10-Second Moments in Cinematic History

We’re happy to premiere an all-new feature here on Jumped the Snark, “Great 10-Second Moments in Cinematic History,” where we post some of the greatest scenes, quotes, exchanges and glances from movies past, all ten seconds or less (and when we refer to cinematic history, keep in mind we’re talking about our cinematic history, which might differ slightly from a certain Roger Ebert’s (for example, we liked Wet Hot American Summer right out of the gate).

So, now, with a memorable but perhaps unheralded clip from Wayne’s World, we debut Great 10-Second Moments in Cinematic History:

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Filed under 10 Seconds or Less, Crucial Taunt, The Big Screen

‘Saved by the Bell’ THE FINAL SEASON

This is it, folks.  We estimated it would take us about two days to get to this point.  Instead it’s taken 3 weeks.  But, nevertheless, we’ve arrived.  And the end.  Well, the beginning of the end.

6:14pm, Season 5, Disc 1, Episode 1: ” The Fight”

00:10: Well, right out of the gate we have to compliment the DVD menus for this season.  MUCH improved.

01:49: My school never had the “pool on the roof” gag.  I kind of regret that.  Feel like I didn’t have a proper high school experience.

02:32: Fun Fact: Elizabeth Berkley turned 44 during this season.

Read on: More fun facts, THE FIGHT, a big season from Big Pete, the curious case of Tori Scott, drinking, gambling, kissing, Punky Brewster, time travel and graduation day! And MORE!

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Filed under Buffy & Hildegarde, Count Bleh, Crucial Taunt, Fashion Show at Lunch, LOST, Mars Investigations, Masochism, Rip-off, Saved by the Bell, Saved by the Bell Project, Yasmine Bleeth

Was That Special? Dana Carvey Returns to ‘SNL’ And Our Childhood Officially Ends

We’re going to warn you right off the bat that this is probably going to be the most subjective SNL recap we’ve yet written.  So if you like your SNL analysis free of emotional attachment, well, then you should look somewhere else (we’re sure the web might offer one, maybe two, other options), because, unfortunately, as we watched this last SNL, hosted by legendary cast member Dana Carvey, our reaction was intrinsically bound up in how we’ve watched this show since childhood, and how the this particular episode made us reexamine and reassess our feelings about the show, Dana Carvey and his SNL era.  So, at the extreme risk of being self-indulgent, here we go.

Read on: We mourn our youth and ask the question: who is Dana Carvey?

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Filed under Analysis, Be careful what you wish for, Crucial Taunt, Flashback!, Nostalgia Corner, Reeeeeege, Saturday Night Live, The Bieb

Friday Nostalgia Corner: Goodbye Chris Farley, 12 Years Ago Today

Normally at the Nostalgia Corner we like to focus on some kitschy, lame, dated show or fad from the late 80s or early 90s, like ABC’s TGIF or snap bracelets, but today’s edition is a little different, a little more serious, and much more tragic.

I can still remember it vividly.  Twelve years ago today, December 18, 1997, my mother was driving me and some friends home from swim practice in her newly leased maroon Oldsmobile Bravada.  As we turned onto Truval Lane to drop off Kevin we heard the news come over the radio.  Chris Farley had died.  I was in 9th grade at the time, too young to realize that this sad outcome was probably inevitable, too naive to see the man slowly fall apart, even though I watched him huff and puff and barely make his way through his SNL hosting gig less than two months prior.  I did recall hearing Farley mentioned on Howard Stern one morning, as the King of Media remarked that if Farley didn’t get himself together he was going to end up in “John Candyland.”  Which was certainly alarming, but wasn’t actually a drastic enough statement, because it didn’t speak to Farley’s reckless drug problem.  I just thought it meant that Farley might be having one too many polish sausages, not that he was going to go on a 48-hour cocaine, heroin and booze bender (or maybe in the nascent Internet days of 1997 the media wasn’t the all-seeing, all judging eye that is now.  These days we watch Lindsey Lohan come apart at the seams before our eyes, descending further and further into oblivion, and if she never recovers it will be tragic, but no one will be surprised.  So maybe I was so shocked about Farley because at that time the media didn’t cover celebrity self-destruction like it covers the Super Bowl).

Regardless, Farley was gone, and gone far too soon.  At this time Tommy Boy was right up there with Wayne’s World, the movies that my friends and I watched over and over again, quoting endlessly.  Farley seemed full of limitless energy, and everyone who knows him will say that we only began to scratch the surface of his comedy and his humanity.  It’s been twelve years, but his death still feels fresh, and it still stings.  Cause as a 14-year old Farley seemed to me larger than life, and not just because of his enormous physical size, but because he could make me laugh with the flick of an eyebrow or the gentlest of laughs.

It’s no use wondering anymore what could have been.  The world has moved on and his SNL buddies found a new fat guy to star in their upcoming film,  a seemingly paint by numbers tale of a bunch of middle age camp friends who reunite after many years and who will no doubt bond over being past their prime.  Perhaps it’s better than we never saw Farley get to that point, get old, doing movies about how he used to be young.  But things will never be the same without him, and, in more ways than one, he left a hole that cannot be filled, not by a little coat, not by a big coat, not by any coat.

Farley at his best, childlike and charming, a whirlwind of destruction and determination.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

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Filed under Crucial Taunt, Good Humor, Nostalgia Corner, Saturday Night Live

Was Hoping This Would Also Be a ‘Wayne’s World’ Parody

But it’s still good.

Twitter is all abuzz with Retweets about a new Muppet video uploaded to YouTube today in which our favorites perform their very own version of Queen’s classic “Bohemian Rhapsody” music video!

Pretty amusing, but how cool would it have been if it featured Kermit and Fozzie in the Mirth Mobile, head banging and lip syncing along, Fozzie in the Dana Carvey/Garth role behind the wheel and not knowing the words.  Oh, well, I guess it would have looked like this, but with “Bohemian Rhapsody.”  And maybe Animal going crazy in the backseat.

Got to admit it though, the Muppets sure look good in 1080p.


Filed under Crucial Taunt, Muppets, Virulent