Last week Justin Bieber, who has generally stayed on our good side (mostly by virtue of his chivalry), went ahead and tried to change that by wearing a Kelly Kapowski t-shirt, even though a) Saved by the Bell came and went before he was even born, b) she is OURS, and he should know that and thus he should STAY AWAY, and c) he’s Canadian.
Bieber, you can have Selena Gomez, or Miranda Cosgrove, or Vanessa Hudgens, or Taylor Momsen, or any of these girls who can’t rent a car. But anyone born pre-Top Gun is mine. You got that? Stay the FUCK away!
But we’re not worried. Tiffani can fight her own battles. Here’s how she responded:
Miley Cyrus came by SNL this week and, despite generally positive reviews, we still found it pretty average. Nothing egregious about it, nothing particularly horrible, but really nothing to write home about. And the feedback for Cyrus was mostly polite, praiseworthy even, commending her for at the very least not embarrassing herself, at the best acquitting herself remarkably well. But we really weren’t surprised by that. It’s no fluke that she was a star of a hit cable show and a pop music phenomenon. She’s got talent. Sure, she might have headlined a terrible, cloying cable show for Tweens, and she might perform grating, insipid kidz bop, but she’s been tremendously successful at it, and there’s really no denying that she has some kind of talent. So by all rites she should have been fine on SNL. And she was. And she parodied her image, parodied Justin Bieber, parodied Fergie, all to perfectly okay results. But nothing transcendent. Nothing special. Nothing that resonated like a sketch from a few years ago that featured an at the time teenage superstar. Lindsay, show Miley how it’s done:
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Sure, Miley had fun. She sang and danced. She even impersonated Lohan. But, unlike Lohan, none of Cyrus’ sketches will be remembered in five years.
Oh, and Jason Sudeikis reprised his Satan on “Weekend Update” and it was pretty cool. The dude can do no wrong (Sudeikis, not the Devil).
We’re going to warn you right off the bat that this is probably going to be the most subjective SNL recap we’ve yet written. So if you like your SNL analysis free of emotional attachment, well, then you should look somewhere else (we’re sure the web might offer one, maybe two, other options), because, unfortunately, as we watched this last SNL, hosted by legendary cast member Dana Carvey, our reaction was intrinsically bound up in how we’ve watched this show since childhood, and how the this particular episode made us reexamine and reassess our feelings about the show, Dana Carvey and his SNL era. So, at the extreme risk of being self-indulgent, here we go.
Read on: We mourn our youth and ask the question: who is Dana Carvey?
“I LOVED ‘Jungle Fever.'”
Part of the reason we’re posting this video is so we can increase our page views with the tag “Justin Bieber,” but just as important is that this clip includes NY Rangers goaltender Henrik Lundqvist. Handsome, charming and one hell of a model Swede.
We think that girl is actually crying not over the Bieb but because she noticed Hank’s engagement ring. Sorry honey! Maybe try Islander’s netminder Rick DiPietro? He could use some love.
We expect to often see search terms like “justin bieber” and “miranda cosgrove,” and to a lesser, but more encouraging, extent “rashida jones” and “tom westman,” but it surprised us how often one of our top results has been “nasim pedrad,” the talented and pretty comedian now in her sophomore season on SNL. Not that we think that she doesn’t warrant that kind of attention, but it’s intriguing that web surfers have taken a particular interest in Pedrad, considering that SNL has no shortage of attractive and funny female cast members (Kristen Wiig, Abby Elliott, Vanessa Bayer, Jenny Slate until this season). Then again, it’s not terribly shocking, as Pedrad has continued to impress us with her diversity and poise, deftly portraying women like Kim Kardashian, Azam Farahi (aka Mrs. Ahmadinejad) and Cristiane Amanpour, as well as performing Lil Blaster in the Underground Records commercials.
Pedrad has also fallen into the unfortunate pattern of playing hyperactive, loquacious, often male, teenagers, which has been the only knock against her so far. However, despite that, our favorite performance from Pedrad was as wise beyond her years teenager Bedilia, a confident young lady who exhibits just a little too much appreciation for her parents.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
See? She more than holds her own against Alec Baldwin there. If Pedrad can excise those other, more annoying, less successful characters then we see no reason why she won’t be one of our most popular search terms for years to come.
We’re lucky enough to post one of our all-time favorite clips today, thanks to the popular search terms “miranda cosgrove and justin bieber.” Those words have probably brought more teenage girls and middle age men to this site than any other. They likely realized pretty quickly that this site really isn’t for them, but we were happy to have them nonetheless.
From the wayback machine, here’s a young Justin Bieber calling out at Kanye at the 2009 VMAs:
They look SO young!
(and now we just sit back and watch the page views roll in)