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‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Red Dawn

Dawn PissedIt’s our first week of the No Reynold Club on Survivor: Caramoan – 2 Legit 2 Quit, and the remaining members of the Edamame tribe are really starting to show the strain of the game. Eddie sees the writing on the wall, as the last remaining male fan and Uno Amigo he’s likely the next to go. Unless, of course, he can hook up with another girl, expose her to the Curse of Donkeylips, and watch her be sent off to Ponderosa. But would he hook up with an old chick like Sherri or a mom with a bottom retainer like Dawn? “Gross” he no doubt says to himself upon considering his options. Brenda? “Too into pig brains,” he likely reasons. So a reunion with Team Bro – Spring Break in Caramoan, y’all – is what Eddie expects to come shortly.

Cochran is also beginning to see the writing on the wall. Except this scribbling says that he now might be the biggest threat to win, that despite Erik’s abs and Eddie’s lisp lips he’s the alpha male on the island, and as such the bullseye might now be on his back. Dawn, to her credit, hasn’t cried in a…oh, no, wait, here come the waterworks, never mind.

Erik, on the other hand, clearly hasn’t recovered from the diabetic shock he experienced after devouring those chocolate glaze donuts last week, and he’s beginning to hallucinate, stuck in some kind of vivid fever dream, a mysterious voyage. Or perhaps, to teach Erik a lesson about voluntarily bowing out of challenges, Jeff Probst laced the pastries with some peyote. Either way, he’s seeing things.

More: Say hi to your mother for me…

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Comic Book Guy, Reginald VelJohnson, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – The Devil’s Hantz

Brandon Hantz Meltdown Well, we all saw this coming. We saw this coming back on South Pacific when he accused Mikayla of being an evil temptress, and we saw this coming when he went back and forth and back with his relationship with God and spoke of battles with inner demons. And we saw this coming in episode two of Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit when, in beautiful night vision, his neck tattoo glistening in the twilight, he threatened to go on a rampage. So no one – no one – should have been surprised when Brandon Hantz finally lost it on Survivor: Caramoan. Which isn’t to say it was predictable, or that it wasn’t riveting, truly unsettling television.

But first, who’s that girl next to Michael and Eddie?!

Survivor Caramoan Julie Oh, right, Julia. That person that exists on the Fans tribe. At this point, she’s our pick to win it all, solely because everyone will keep forgetting that she’s there and no one will ever write her name down. Also, she might be a ghost.

More: Seriously guys, you should really hide rice and beans…

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, It's gross., The Worst, TV Killed the Music Video Star, Winterfallen

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Battle of the Bulge

Reynold Survivor Immunity IdolLast week we talked about our disappointment in the casting of Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit to Quit, as the producers seemed to have emphasized loud, dramatic, troublemakers over solid, interesting, sane players. We drew attention back to Survivor: Palau, which featured none of those emotionally unstable, wildcard types and, yet, proved to be perhaps the show’s finest season. Why? Because this show is so good, because it puts ordinary people in such incredible, extraordinary situations, that you don’t need to manufacture drama. If you just let the game play out, let the interpersonal dynamics take over, then you have magical theater. The kind that we actually do get at the end of last episode of Caramoan. However, while the denouement was a pleasant surprise, what the episode mostly did was grant attention to the two most volatile personalities out there, Brandon and Shamar, validating their petulant and borderline-psychotic behavior.

Russell Hantz, for the record, was a fascinating, nuanced character (at least at first). Brandon Hantz, on the other hand, is all the worst parts of his uncle, all id, no strategy. He may have his uncle’s blood, but that doesn’t mean he got his gift for the game, or even his flair for havoc.

Actually , Brandon that’s literally how genetics works. DNA is passed down through generations. Although, what you might be feeling is those leeches sucking out your blood. You should probably get a medic to look at you.

More: A pocketful of Shamar, a pocketful of Kryptonite…

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‘Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites’ Premiere – History Repeats Herself

Survivor Former Federal Agent Phillip Aaaaaaaanaaaaaaand we’re back! For Survivor’26th season they’ve returned to the Philippines and revisited a familiar format with Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit to Quit. Except, this time around, the “Favorites” aren’t necessarily favorites, or heroes, or even skilled players. They are, for the most part, memorable personalities, some remembered for as much bad as good. Whether that was a wise  casting decision will be borne out over the next few months. However, before we dive into the new season, let’s take a brief look back, way back, to Survivor: Palau. 

Why return to the 10th season of this long-running series, which premiered in early 2005? Because, after recently completing our second viewing of the season, we feel confident in asserting that Palau is the strongest and most entertaining entry in the Survivor pantheon. And why do we say that? Well, let us tell you, in list format:

Read on: Five Keys to Palau and Phillip Puts the Team Together

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Lists, Mancrush, Tribal Council

200 Posts And Counting (Slowly)

Well, we did it, finally managed to hit 200 posts (actually, this happened about two weeks ago, but I didn’t have the time to acknowledge the feat). Back when I started selling copies of this blog out of the trunk of my ’73 Chevy Nova I never thought it would amount to anything.  Now look at it.  Over a year old.  Amassing literally tens of hits of a semi-regular basis.  And now passing the double century mark for posts (even if 75% of them were Late Night with Jimmy Fallon videos or Muppet news (and one of them actually was both).

Unfortunately, for the last six weeks our attention has been occupied elsewhere, and, as you may have noticed (or maybe not, if you’re not one of the three regular readers of this blog), our posts have basically come to a screeching halt.  And while output will remain slim for the next few weeks, we here at Jumped The Snark are committed to Jumped the Snark, and fully intend to ramp up our commentary on NBC Thursday night comedies, just in time for the end of their seasons.  But as there’s no such thing as a summer vacation for TV anymore, there will be no summer staycation for Jumped The Snark.

In addition, months ago we privately challenged ourselves to deliver 365 posts within the 2010 calendar year.  We hit the ground running, but then were hampered by a cross-country move, and then got back in the rhythm only to be slowed once again by a new roadblock.  As of press time, we’re only at 79 posts so our work is cut out for us, but we want you to know that we fully intend to fulfill this promise to you that you only just found out about 20 seconds ago.

And yes, this post counts.

And just to make sure, here’s an awesome video that’s full of worth:

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