2013/05/14 · 1:21 pm
When Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit began just three months ago we bemoaned the ubiquity of loud, boisterous, attention-grabbing personalities like Shamar, Brandon Hantz and Former Federal Agent(?) Fillip. It felt like a season plotted by casting – and by casting just a few controversial, polarizing figures, stunt casting essentially – than a season anchored by appealing, charismatic, engaging characters who we would want to root for, and a season that might rely on shock value and stock reality show antics than good stories, solid gameplay and jaw-dropping twists. Well, we are happy to say that we were wrong. While the pre-merge game was dominated by those big names and big bodies, and while some of our favorite players were eliminated earlier than we would have preferred, after the merge Survivor: Caramoan has delivered great Tribal Council after great Tribal Council, offering some landmark series moments. It was like viewing a Sandra Bullock film back to back to back. Blind Side after Blind Side after Blind Side. And it’s left us with five somewhat unlikely players, none of whom are physically dominant or socially controlling or remarkably devious. Just five players who’ve managed to get to the end, through considerable disadvantages and obstacles, each carving a somewhat different path. It wasn’t what we foresaw for Caramoan, but we’re not complaining.
Cochran, for sure, is the front-runner, having played a smart, strategic, clean game. But Dawn has been right there with Cochran, and she’s made stronger personal bonds, which could play in her favor. Don’t discount Sherri though, who took an entry-level position with Stealth ‘R’ Us when the fans’ alliance fell apart, came in everyday on time, punched her card, worked hard, and is one of the few employees still with the company. Then there’s Eddie, who’s been on the outs from day one, has been to nearly every Tribal Council and was always at risk of going home, and who has made no enemies. Finally, you have Erik, who’s ruffled very few feathers, managed to flip and flop without seeming untrustworthy, and has an excellent chance to sweep the remaining challenges. Really, out of these five, you could make a case that all of them can win the million and it’s going to be interesting…
Oh, wait, Erik’s down…
Filed under Brilliance, Century 21 Reality, It's gross., Tribal Council, We'll Get It In Post
Tagged as 2 Leqit 2 Quit, Always Be Cochran, Arya Stark, B, Beavis and Butthead, Bewitched, Boston Rob, Brandon Hantz, Brenda, Burning Love, Caramoan, Challenge Monster, Chris Webber Final Four, Cochran, Crocodile Mile, David Van Driessen, Dawn Meehan, Do it to me Dawn, dog bar, Dog City, Don't get cocky, Donkeylips, Dr. Joe, Dr. Nick, Eddie, Erik, Fans vs. Favorites, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Game of Thrones, Han Solo, Heather B, In Living Color, Jeff Probst, Jenga, Jonathan Lipnicki, Loose lisps sink ships, Men on Film, Michael Ian Black, New York, queer, retainer, Reynold, Rudy Boesch, Salute Your Shorts, Samantha Stephens, Sandra Bullock, Shamar, Sherri, Star Wars, Stealth 'R' Us, Survivor, Survivor: Bloods vs. Crips, the Blind Side, The Jersey Shore, The Real World, Vinny, Wild & Crazy Kids, Yoda
2013/05/10 · 9:50 am
It’s our first week of the No Reynold Club on Survivor: Caramoan – 2 Legit 2 Quit, and the remaining members of the Edamame tribe are really starting to show the strain of the game. Eddie sees the writing on the wall, as the last remaining male fan and Uno Amigo he’s likely the next to go. Unless, of course, he can hook up with another girl, expose her to the Curse of Donkeylips, and watch her be sent off to Ponderosa. But would he hook up with an old chick like Sherri or a mom with a bottom retainer like Dawn? “Gross” he no doubt says to himself upon considering his options. Brenda? “Too into pig brains,” he likely reasons. So a reunion with Team Bro – Spring Break in Caramoan, y’all – is what Eddie expects to come shortly.
Cochran is also beginning to see the writing on the wall. Except this scribbling says that he now might be the biggest threat to win, that despite Erik’s abs and Eddie’s
lisp lips he’s the alpha male on the island, and as such the bullseye might now be on his back. Dawn, to her credit, hasn’t cried in a…oh, no, wait, here come the waterworks, never mind.
Erik, on the other hand, clearly hasn’t recovered from the diabetic shock he experienced after devouring those chocolate glaze donuts last week, and he’s beginning to hallucinate, stuck in some kind of vivid fever dream, a mysterious voyage. Or perhaps, to teach Erik a lesson about voluntarily bowing out of challenges, Jeff Probst laced the pastries with some peyote. Either way, he’s seeing things.
More: Say hi to your mother for me…
Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Comic Book Guy, Reginald VelJohnson, Tribal Council
Tagged as 1 2 3 What the Heck is bothering me, 2 Legit 2 Quit, Always Be Cocky, Brenda, Caramoan, Chris Hansen, Cochran, Confucius, Dan, Dawn, Donkeylips, Edamame, Eddie, El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer, Erik, Family Matters, Fans vs. Favorites, Glee, Herman's Head, Jeff Probst, Kenneth Hudson Campbell, Lonely Island, Nicaragua, No Reynold Club, Rocky, Salute Your Shorts, Spring Break Anthem, Spring Evo LTE©, Survivor, the Blind Side, The Princess Bride, The Simpsons, To Catch a Predator
2013/05/07 · 3:58 pm
In any season of Survivor capitalizing on the moment to strike is of paramount importance, and this has been especially relevant on Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit. Ages from now, when Survivor is long gone and young scholars pore over old texts written about a forgotten television program hosted by former President of Earth Jeff Probst, they will read the story of Caramoan, and it will be the story of Stealth ‘R’ Us, and of those who tried to fight back against the ruling alliance. For that has been the theme of the season, not so much if, but when, a group of insurgents will break apart the dominating force. As a result of poor timing, Corinne failed in her attempt at a coup, and, likewise, Malcolm overplayed his hand and tried to strike too quickly. He was successful in deposing Former Federal Agent Fillip, but, perhaps, FFAF wasn’t the head of the snake after all. He was the outspoken face of Stealth ‘R’ Us, but, in the end, he might have just been a figurehead, the Mandarin, a red herring dangled out as bait. And with Fillip gone, and the corporation starting to fray, it’s only a matter of time before someone makes a move. Could be someone outside the controlling alliance, or could be someone from within. It doesn’t really matter who it is. What matters is when.
But even though there’s a storm coming, and they’re now down to just two amigos, Reynold and Eddie are in good spirits. They won’t let the loss of Malcolm stop them from a good
high five fist bump.
More: Tribal Councils on Tribal Councils on Tribal Councils…
Filed under Analysis, Be careful what you wish for, Comic Book Guy, Commodore 64, Count Bleh, Mancrush, Nicktoons, Tribal Council
Tagged as 2 Legi, Always Be Charming, Andrea, Brenda, Brother Mouzone, Caramoan, Cochran, David Koresh, Donkeylips, donuts, Duck Hunt, Edamame, Erik, Fans vs. Favorites, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Game of Thrones, Goonies, Jeff Probst, Karate Kid, Kerry Von Erich, Lorenzo Lamas, Malcolm, Michael Cera, mustache, NES, No Homers Club, No Reynold Club, One-Eyed Willie, Renegade, Reynold, Salute Your Shorts, Spike Lee, Sun Tzu, Survivor, the climb, The Mandarin, The Simpsons, The Wire, Yankees vs. Indians, Youth in Revolt
2013/04/03 · 11:12 am
Well, this was a long time coming, but now that we’ve reached the all-important game-changing merge and oxygen-sucking loudmouths Shamar and Brandon are gone, it seems like a good time – perhaps the only time – to deliver our Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit celebrity look-alikes and player odds (for those Survivors still in the game). Let’s do this a little differently this time around and look at the Favorites then the Fans. We’d tell you to buckle up, but that seems really unnecessary considering you’re probably just sitting on a couch or at a desk or maybe on the subway, and even then it’s the movement of the train and not the content of this article that is most likely to create some turbulence.
Andrea: If we want to talk about people who really learned from Boston Rob (as opposed to Former Federal Agent(?) Fillip), then Andrea might be the one in that discussion. Her acuity for the game is what hurt her last time – and her infatuation with Matt – as Boston Rob respected her ability and intelligence but more importantly recognized her as a threat. There’s no one as cunning as Boston Rob on Caramoan, so Andrea has a shot to put it all together this time, especially now that she’s made the merge with the new powerhouse Goya tribe. However, there’s something in those smokey eyes that tells us that she’s going to play the game a little too hard and a little too paranoid, and that will be her downfall (much like Tara Reid experienced a similar fall. But that was due to the shots of Patrón and required several stitches). 11:1
Filed under Century 21 Reality, MS Paint, Tribal Council, Winterfallen
Tagged as 2 Legit 2 Quit, 28 Days, Allie, Andrea, Baxter Stockman, BMX Bike Sales Matt, Boston Rob, Brandon Hantz, Brenda, Caramoan, Carl Weathers, Cochran, Corinne, Dawn, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Eddie, Erik, Evil Grimace, Fans vs. Favorites, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Francesca, Girls, God Save the Gay, God's Shoes, Good Will Hunting, Grace Jones, Hope, Jane Curtain, Jon Snow, Julia, Kat, Kate & Allie, Laura, LeBron James, Mabel, Malcolm, Married with Children, Matt Damon, McDonaldland, Miami Heat, Michael, monkey, Napoleon Dynamite, Phillip Sheppard, Pitfall, Pitfall Harry, Pixar Cars, Powder, Predator, Reynold, Sandra Bullock, Shamar, Sherri, Shoshanna, Survivor, Susan St. James, Tara Reid, The Proposal, TMNT
2013/04/02 · 3:42 pm
Previously on Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit we found out that Corinne has a truly curious and rather unsettling affection (affectation?) for gays. Well, it seems that everyone is letting all their skeletons out of the closet now, as this person who is apparently named Julia has decided she wants to pretend she has some semblance of a personality and reveal something very private and kind of gross.
TMI, Ju…damn, forgot her name.
Michael is taking the loss of his partner in crime (the crime being losing every Immunity Challenge) BMX Bike Sales Matt surprisingly well. In fact, he’s single and ready to mingle. And he’s in luck! Corinne is more than eager to envelop Michael and keep him close to her bosom, Mama Corinne keeping him safe in this game as long as she can. Good thing she’s been quiet about her love of gays or else someone in her alliance might start to grow suspicious. Way to play it close to the blue bikini top!
In case you’ve missed every episode so far, Former Federal Agent(?) Fillip is in phenomenal shape. The guy is a freak of nature. Unbeatable in anything that emphasizes upper body strength, which, as we know, is every Survivor challenge ever. He’s so strong that he can even beat a physical specimen like John Cochran at arm wrestling. JOHN COCHRAN! A pasty yet sunburnt indoor kid who could serve as Captain America’s “before” photo; someone who is probably half Fillip’s size (which means that if Cochran played basketball at Fill’s gym then he’d be balling against guys four times his size. Wow!). So how could FFAF defeat the Hulk-like Cochran (Hulk-like in so far as he’s probably really good at physics)? Well, he’s got a can’t-lose technique.
Read on: Phil goes over the top, but is he too top heavy?
Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Count Bleh, Golden Girls, Tribal Council, What? Too fabulous?, Winterfallen
Tagged as 2 Legit 2 Quit, Allied Powers, Always Be Comatose, arm wrestling, Art of War, Back to the Track, Batman, Bea Arthur Golden Girls, beach run, BeKool, Big Toss, Bill Cosby, Boston Rob, Breast feeding, British Bulldog, Caramoan, Cochran, Combustible Huxtable, Corinne, Dan Quayle, Dancin' Homer, Dawn, Dead People, Erik, Fans vs. Favorites, foopah, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Game of Thrones, Gay, Girls, Goya, grappling hook, Gulliver's Travels, Haley Joel Osment, Jeff Probst, Jim Carrey, Julia, Lex Luger, Lifeguard, Lloyd Bentsen, Malcolm, Malcolm & Eddie, Malcolm Jamal-Warner, Michael, Mike Skupin, Nutty Cuckoo Super King, Over the Top, Palau, Pontiac Aztec, Poseidon Adventure, Reynold, Ring Around the Rosie, Robin Arryn, Shoshanna, Sixth Sense, SNL, Stealth 'R' Us, Survivor, Sylvester Stallone, Team Bro, The Cosby Show, The Real World, Tom Westman, UPN, WWE, You're no Jack Kennedy