2013/04/02 · 3:42 pm
Previously on Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit we found out that Corinne has a truly curious and rather unsettling affection (affectation?) for gays. Well, it seems that everyone is letting all their skeletons out of the closet now, as this person who is apparently named Julia has decided she wants to pretend she has some semblance of a personality and reveal something very private and kind of gross.
TMI, Ju…damn, forgot her name.
Michael is taking the loss of his partner in crime (the crime being losing every Immunity Challenge) BMX Bike Sales Matt surprisingly well. In fact, he’s single and ready to mingle. And he’s in luck! Corinne is more than eager to envelop Michael and keep him close to her bosom, Mama Corinne keeping him safe in this game as long as she can. Good thing she’s been quiet about her love of gays or else someone in her alliance might start to grow suspicious. Way to play it close to the blue bikini top!
In case you’ve missed every episode so far, Former Federal Agent(?) Fillip is in phenomenal shape. The guy is a freak of nature. Unbeatable in anything that emphasizes upper body strength, which, as we know, is every Survivor challenge ever. He’s so strong that he can even beat a physical specimen like John Cochran at arm wrestling. JOHN COCHRAN! A pasty yet sunburnt indoor kid who could serve as Captain America’s “before” photo; someone who is probably half Fillip’s size (which means that if Cochran played basketball at Fill’s gym then he’d be balling against guys four times his size. Wow!). So how could FFAF defeat the Hulk-like Cochran (Hulk-like in so far as he’s probably really good at physics)? Well, he’s got a can’t-lose technique.
Read on: Phil goes over the top, but is he too top heavy?
Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Count Bleh, Golden Girls, Tribal Council, What? Too fabulous?, Winterfallen
Tagged as 2 Legit 2 Quit, Allied Powers, Always Be Comatose, arm wrestling, Art of War, Back to the Track, Batman, Bea Arthur Golden Girls, beach run, BeKool, Big Toss, Bill Cosby, Boston Rob, Breast feeding, British Bulldog, Caramoan, Cochran, Combustible Huxtable, Corinne, Dan Quayle, Dancin' Homer, Dawn, Dead People, Erik, Fans vs. Favorites, foopah, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Game of Thrones, Gay, Girls, Goya, grappling hook, Gulliver's Travels, Haley Joel Osment, Jeff Probst, Jim Carrey, Julia, Lex Luger, Lifeguard, Lloyd Bentsen, Malcolm, Malcolm & Eddie, Malcolm Jamal-Warner, Michael, Mike Skupin, Nutty Cuckoo Super King, Over the Top, Palau, Pontiac Aztec, Poseidon Adventure, Reynold, Ring Around the Rosie, Robin Arryn, Shoshanna, Sixth Sense, SNL, Stealth 'R' Us, Survivor, Sylvester Stallone, Team Bro, The Cosby Show, The Real World, Tom Westman, UPN, WWE, You're no Jack Kennedy
2012/08/23 · 1:59 pm
There’s a tale we like to tell to novice or late-to-the-party Survivor fans. It’s a story – feels more like myth now – about a tribe called Kucha in a harsh landscape called the Outback. This is pre-Russell Hantz, pre-Boston Rob, even pre-Tom Westman. This is back in the second season of Survivor, when they had no idea that their initial success would continue nearly unabated for twenty-four seasons, that Richard Hatch and his flabby, hairy, naked figure strolling the beach in Borneo had changed the face of television forever. In season two the show was still in unknown territory, not yet a cultural institution with enough memorable moments to fill a double DVD and enough beloved (and reviled) players to field a competitive softball league. This was a long time ago. But all that time we’ve never forgotten about Michael Skupin. And never gave up hope – despite how unlikely it seemed – that he would return.
We often relate how this season featured a tribe that we found to be as formidable and as likable (save for Kimmi) as any tribe in Survivor’s prodigious history. It featured a pretty young face that we’d come to later know as Elisabeth Hasslebeck, football wife and The View co-host/conservative punching bag, then going by the surname Filarski. And while Kucha lacked the statistical dominance of Tom Westman’s Koror tribe in Palau, the team felt as strong and cohesive as any tribe, and it was getting stronger and more cohesive after each challenge and Tribal Council. There was Jeff Varner, the good-looking, drawling Tar Heel, and his partner-in-crime Alicia Calaway, who could have easily parlayed her Survivor appearance into a berth in the WWE. There was Old Man Rodger, who had formed such a sweet, good-natured, grandfather-granddaughter relationship with Elisabeth. And there was Nick Brown, the bright, young Harvard Law student. And they were all led by Michael Skupin, a midwest father whose receding hairline was more Bruce Willis than Ron Howard. Skupin served as heart and soul of the team, his intelligence and survival skills keeping Kucha focused and united at camp, his athletic ability pacing them in challenges, and his hunting prowess keeping them energized. With his guidance Kucha was poised to decimate the Ogakor Tribe, which featured such bickering, unlikable players as Jerri “the Black Widow” Manthey, arrogant chef Keith Famie, mama’s boy himbo Colby Donaldson, mama surrogate Tina Wesson, and another pretty face named Amber (yep, that Amber); it was a tribe that fell out of favor with us the moment they voted out Maralyn “Mad Dog” Hershey. Ogakor featured several future All-Stars and a couple million dollar winners, but after five tribal councils they were faltering, fractured and frustrated (Colby dousing Jerri with a bucket of water following a Reward Challenge loss, for example), and with one more Immunity Challenge defeat they were in danger of going into the merge down 6-4 to a Kucha Tribe operating with extreme confidence and bellies full of chickens and popcorn and, thanks to Mike, a pig.
And then, in the blink of an eye, it all came crashing down.
And like that, he’s gone…
Filed under Be careful what you wish for, Century 21 Reality, Freak Out Control, Mancrush, Tribal Council
Tagged as Alicia Calaway, Amber Brkich, Australia, Boston Rob, Bruce Willis, Coach, Colby Donaldon, Elisabeth Filarski, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, fire, Jeff Varner, Jerri Manthey, Jonathan Penner, Keith Famie, Kimmi Kappenberg, Koror, Kucha, Maralyn Mad Dog Hershey, Michael Skupin, Mike Skupin, Nick Brown, Ogakor, Outback, Palau, Richard Hatch, Rodger Bingham, Ron Howard, Russell Hantz, Russell Swan, Sandra Diaz-Twine, Sliding Doors, Survivor, Survivor: Philippines, The Amazing Race, The View, Tina Wesson, Tom Westman, WWE