For the last few seasons we’ve become increasingly irritated by the presence of God, or, rather, some players’ insistence that he (or she!) has some influence on the game of Survivor, from Matt justifying his repeated exile to Redemption Island as part of Jesus’s plan to Brandon Hantz invoking the will of the Lord in his quest to purge Mikayla from the game (and maybe the Earth) because of her fictional harlot tendencies. For one season we can deal with these bible thumpers, but as it became a consistent aspect of the game, it became grating, obnoxious even. Sure, God may love Survivor, but as a true fan he would never get involved. When it comes to Survivor, God is agnostic, and if he had a dog in the fight, it wouldn’t be someone from the God Squad, it would be a rough and tumble champion, like Sophie or Lt. Tom Westman. But even if God had a rooting interest, we were sure that he (or she!) had no impact on the game, just like he has nothing to do with Tim Tebow (unless sending him to the Jets is God’s idea of a holy hilarious joke). However, after this week’s Survivor: One World! we’ve changed our mind. Because if that wasn’t divine intervention, if that wasn’t an instance of God reigning down vengeance from above, we don’t know what is.
Tag Archives: NaOnka
First off, if there’s one thing that Jeff Probst hates, it’s quitters. The man just has no tolerance for Survivor competitors who travel all the way to a remote island or exotic locale, endure the worst possible conditions they will ever experience, and then quit when the end is in sight. Especially when those spineless deserters take away a perfectly good shot at a million dollars from hungrier, more deserving players on the jury (or armchair survivors at home). Jeff HATES that.
Which is why it was so surprising, and so frustrating, that Probst gave NaOnka and Purple Kelly multiple chances to reconsider and stay in the game. Jeff, if they want to go, let them walk. Benry and Fabio understood; if NaOnka and Kelly want to get up and walk out and in turn improve that male twosome’s chances then so be it. Don’t stand in the girls’ way, Jeff. As far as we were considered, when Purple Kelly and NaOnka announced their intentions to leave following the Reward Challenge Jeff should have stripped them of their buffs right then and there. But that didn’t happen. And to instead allow NaOnka to not only stay in the game but also attend the reward was just insulting, infuriating.
Boy, it’s really getting rough out there in Nicaragua, ain’t it? Gone are the halcyon days of last week when everyone basically agreed to vote out Alina. No, there are fractures in this group, and as Jeff astutely notes after Tribal Council, they are clearly a “Libertad” divided.
After Marty called out Jane at Tribal Council last week (well, not so much called her out as pointed out how much of a threat she is), it was clear that the battle lines were drawn, with Jane now obsessed with not just beating Marty, but humiliating him (for example, she calls him “Farty” now. GOTCHA, MARTY!). Jane, relax.
(Nailed that title)
With the new episode just hours away, very quick thoughts on last week’s merge-centric episode of Survivor: Nicaragua:
- We’re becoming very concerned that as the show continues we’re going to end up with the least likable players, as well as some of the weakest. There turned out to be some dunderheads in All-Stars, but at least there were always some Survivors that we enjoyed watching. If this season ends up being Brenda, Sash, NaOnka, Purple Kelly, we’re not sure how entertaining that’s going to be.
- Speaking of NaOnka and terrible people, she threw a hissy fit and stole half of the supplies. Like they wouldn’t notice. And before that she did this:
Maybe we were spoiled by the last season of All-Stars. Not just that it offered unmatched drama, familiar characters, surprise twists, but also that those guys knew how to play the game. Granted, that’s a benefit of playing the game for the second, and in some cases, third time, and there were still plenty of dummies out there (Tyson and JT committing two of the all-time unforgivable blunders in Survivor history), but the people running the game, at the top of the food chain – Russell, Parvati, Boston Rob, even Rupert – did so with intelligence and cunning. It truly was a game managed by all-stars. Heck, even Sandra knew how to play game. And she also knew to save the vindictive vandalism for the last day, and when Russell steals other player’s shoes he doesn’t tearfully confess an hour later (lessons to be learned, NaOnka, Holly). But over here on Nicaragua, even though there are clearly leaders on each tribe, they’re not nearly as crafty and clever as they think they are. And, now, you can’t even blame it on youth, because Marty, self-proclaimed master of the game, is racking up the mistakes along with the kids. Who among the tribes is truly grasping this game, making smart, logical moves, not just tricky, creative ones? Right now, it’s hard to say.
‘Survivor Nicaragua’ Unless You’re Bill Parcells, How Could You Think You’re a Better Coach Than Jimmy Johnson? AKA The Final Faces of Jimmy Johnson; Plus: Player by Player Odds!
Well, Survivor: Nicaragua just became a little tougher to watch every week. While we were initially skeptical of the inclusion of former NFL head coach Jimmy Johnson’s in the cast, we were quickly won over by his charm and gung-ho attitude. We still think it was a questionable decision by the producers, big picture-wise, but it enabled us to enjoy his positivity, humor and variety of faces every week. That is, until the Espada tribe made the curious (aka egregious, outrageous) decision to cut Coach Johnson, engineered by Jimmy T and Marty’s testosterone-driven need to prove that they can be a better leader (than a Super Bowl winning NFL head coach). Why Jimmy T felt threatened by Jimmy Johnson, or why he desired to usurp the leadership role when it makes more sense to let Jimmy J maintain the mantle and thus the pressure, is beyond us. And why Marty feels compelled to “accelerate” the game is even more baffling. Now they’ve put themselves both in the cross-hairs, while they could have let the bullseye rest on Coach Johnson. It was way to early for a power grab, and completely unnecessary, and they’ll likely realize this sooner rather than later. At least vote out the dude who can’t even walk (Danny).
But, for now, the damage is done and Jimmy J is gone. In his honor, our (perhaps) final Faces of Jimmy Johnson:
Continue: The sad final Faces of Jimmy Johnson. Then we rundown who’s left!