‘Survivor Nicaragua’: Very E-merge-ncy

(Nailed that title)

With the new episode just hours away, very quick thoughts on last week’s merge-centric episode of Survivor: Nicaragua:

• We’re becoming very concerned that as the show continues we’re going to end up with the least likable players, as well as some of the weakest.  There turned out to be some dunderheads in All-Stars, but at least there were always some Survivors that we enjoyed watching.  If this season ends up being Brenda, Sash, NaOnka, Purple Kelly, we’re not sure how entertaining that’s going to be.
• Speaking of NaOnka and terrible people, she threw a hissy fit and stole half of the supplies.  Like they wouldn’t notice.  And before that she did this:

Classy.

• Apparently it wasn’t just NaOnka who noticed hard Alina was playing the game.  Fabio, and everyone else for that matter, seemed to pick that up.  And it made for an especially dramatic moment between Fabio and Alina.

• Speaking of Fabio, he’s fast becoming our favorite player, and, shockingly, he’s the one demonstrating the most common sense.  Unfortunately, no one seems to agree with him, and it looks like it’s starting to wear on him.

• Also, looks like Benry has some competition for the affections of Fabio:

• Speaking of Benry, we mentioned last week that he was starting to grow on us, especially because of the way he worked so well with Alina in the immunity challenge.  Well, after not only voting for Alina this week but also calling her a “dirt squirrel” he’s officially, and perhaps irreparably, on our bad side.  We’re not sure what a “dirt squirrel” is – Urban Dictionary defines it as either “Facial hair of substandard quality, more specifically around the upper lip and chin regions” or a “dirty dirty slut – but either way, Benry’s a douche.
• Oh, look, Dan’s still around.

Whoops, sorry.  There he is:

SERIOUSLY?!  COME ON!

Which brings us to our A-B-C phrase of the week.  Lots of contenders – Always Be Criminal (NaOnka), Always Be Catching Fish (Jane), Always Be Concerned (Marty), Always Be Carolina (Chase) – but with our girl Alina going home it had to be this:

Always Be Cute

Cause, Alina, you could stand to tone down your intensity a little bit, but don’t change too much.  Stay adorable.  We need more adorable in this world.

Oh, and you’re still terrifying.