Tag Archives: Fabio

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’ : The Dominoes Fall (Director’s Cut)

Imagine waking up in a beautiful seaside location, the crashing waves slowly lulling you out of your slumber, the faraway echoes of exotic birds gently coaxing you out of dreamland, a warm, refreshing breeze serving as nature’s alarm clock.  And then imagine waking up after nine hungry days in a hot, humid, bug-infested jungle and the first thing you see is Phillip’s nasty, tattered, ill-fitting, sun-faded red underwear.  Because that’s exactly the waking nightmare for the members of the Ometepe tribe as we begin this week’s Survivor: Redemption Island.  Any momentum they had after defeating Zapatera last week is immediately erased by the actual sight of Phillip’s junk escaping from his delicates, forcing the Survivor editing team to employ their best blurring skills.  But, to Phillip’s credit, he seems entirely comfortable just flapping in the wind.  And completely oblivious.  But since we’re watching this from the safety of our couch (and, thankfully, with the strategically placed blurs intact) we’re not complaining, because, besides Russell, Phillip is the most entertaining player on the show.

Simply put, it’s put up or shut up time for Russell.

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Filed under Be careful what you wish for, Century 21 Reality, It's gross., Tribal Council

Last Week on ‘Top Chef: All-Stars’: You’re Gonna Fry

Quickly, before new one, last time on Top Chef: All-Stars:

– Paula Deen stops by for the Quickfire to annoy the hell out of us!  And, of course, to tell everyone to FRY their foods.  Oil, butter, DEATH.

MORE: Mike is a thief AND a fraud. But justice is served. And it’s delicious…

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, Rip-off, The Sixth Taste, Top Scallop

Last Week on ‘Top Chef’: The Boorgerman

If you thought we couldn’t keep up our habit of recapping Top Chef just before the new episode premieres, then you were wrong.  DEAD WRONG.  So here we go! (note: our DVR ran out of space when recording this episode so we cannot provide our usual primary source materials.  Sorry!)

  • For the Quickfire challenge they made fondue!  Just like a party my parents might have!  But Carla was struggling and lamented the fact that there was never any time.
  • Time to sample the dishes!  Padma seemed to particularly enjoy Tiffany’s entry.

Read on: Product placement, Fabio struggles with basic English words, Dale steals from our personal recipe book, Carla gets more and more unbearable, and Jimmy Fallon, Steve Higgins and A.D. Miles are adorable.

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Filed under Analysis, Bert-n-Ernie, Century 21 Reality, Freak Out Control, Intersection of the venn diagram of things that I love, Local Flavor, Mancrush, Talkies, The Sixth Taste, Top Scallop

Last Week on ‘Top Chef:’ Take the Primi, Leave the Antipast

Continuing our tradition of quickly recapping the last Top Chef just before the new episode airs, here are a few quick thoughts on last week’s Italian-themed entry:

– Angelo has a crush on guest judge Issac Mizrahi and literally says “Two of my most passionate things are definitely food, first and foremost, and then fashion.”

– Everyone definitely thinks Angelo is a joke (including Issac Mizrahi)

You're a joke

– Carla finally gets to mention how she used to be a model and got to go to France.  Good for you, Carla!

– We get it, Dale.  You have a girlfriend.

– Professor Ricky Blaise wins the quick fire!  For making black ice cream!  Looks good enough to eat!

– The elimination challenge is to cook one of the three main courses at the legendary NYC Italian restaurant Rao’s.

– Mike Isabella, who’s an Italian from New Jersey is like, “I got this.”

– Antonia, who’s an Italian from Los Angeles is like, “No, I got this.”

– Fabio, who’s an Italian from Italy is like, “Um, guys, I’m from Italy.  Is this even fair?  It is?  Really?  Okay, well I’ll just make this chicken dish that’s my grandmother’s recipe and is on the menu on my restaurant and I probably make it a dozen times a night.”

– Lorraine Bracco is a guest judge, because of course she is.

– Then the food is served.  The antipasti is loved by all.  But the pasta course is a disaster:

The rest: Mike Isabella needs an easier mac. And the loser!

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, Fashion Show at Lunch, The State, Top Scallop

Last Time on ‘Top Chef’: Restaurant Chores

Bravo viciously slipped in a repeat of Top Chef last week, perhaps taking a snow day, but it returns tonight (we assume).  With the new episode just hours away, let’s take a quick look back at what happened last time:

– They went to Eric Ripert’s Le Bernardin and watched this dude Justo butcher a bunch of fish like CRAZY:

More: Mike’s a moron, Marcel seeks council with Mr. Miyagi, and Fabio and The Blaise grow even closer…

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, The Worst, Top Scallop

Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: Dynamic Duos

What a treat tonight!  Someone out there searched for “benry and fabio,” which means what you were really looking for was this:

But perhaps we were mistaken.  Perhaps what you were looking for was a shot of that famous scene from Lost when Benjamin Linus, aka Benry, and his fellow other Fabio turn the donkey wheel and are magically transported to Tunisia.  Well, don’t worry, because if that’s the case we got you covered too.

Jumped the Snark, your one stop shop for all things Benrys and Fabios.

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Filed under Gratuitous Search Term Bait, LOST

Fabio’s Not Too Pretty For Jail

Well, he’s not too pretty to get arrested at least, as Survivor winner Judson “Fabio” Birza was booked in Santa Monica yesterday for riding his skateboard in the street.  C’mon, pigs!  Let the dude have a little fun!  Oh, and he was apparently super high.  No surprise there.  Here’s Fabio looking distraught after the arrest:

Actually, he seemed totally cool with it.

Also, we regret already using the headline “For Whom the Bong Tolls” for our Survivor: Nicaragua finale post.  We should have known this day would come and have saved it as such.  Oh well.  Fabio has plenty of bail money left so we better start working on more drug-reference puns!

ATTICA!  ATTICA!

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Filed under Tribal Council