Tag Archives: Boobs

In Defense of Seth MacFarlane: Comedy is in the Eye of the Beholder & Peeling Back The Onion

Seth MacFarlane OscarsFirst, some context: we are not especially devoted Seth MacFarlane fans. For a time we watched Family Guy semi-regularly and certainly were a part of that groundswell that helped resurrect the show from its premature grave. But do we consider ourselves MacFarlane evangelists or advocates? Not at all. We still haven’t seen Ted, and are not exceptionally eager to do so. We rarely watch American Dad and we can’t say for sure that we’ve ever caught an episode of The Cleveland Show. We were, however, impressed with his performance hosting the SNL premiere, and it demonstrated that not only could he do funny voices and write an off-color (and oft-humorous) joke, but he could also perform, and perform live, which is not always second nature for a writer-producer-voice actor. Did that mean we were thrilled to learn he was tapped to host this year’s Oscars? No, not really. We thought it was somewhat a knee-jerk, ill-advised decision (probably due, paradoxically, to his mess-up when presenting at the 2012 Emmys). But we knew, at least, that he could hold his own on stage, singing, dancing, cracking wise, and thinking on his feet. Was he going to offend some people? Probably. But that would come with the territory. Wouldn’t that be by design? If you wanted someone with only a love of musical theater and a flair for singing and dancing, then wouldn’t you just turn to Billy Crystal for a record 74th time? So, with Seth MacFarlane, that’s the package, that’s the deal (a faustian bargain, depending on your point of view): some dick and fart jokes and some mildly anti-Semitic and racist humor mixed with some sprinkles of old Broadway.

So were we surprised that MacFarlarne’s hosting turn this past Sunday night was met with a mix of disappointment and outright scorn? No, not at all. That was to be expected. But, after seeing the show, we were taken aback at the amount of criticism leveled at MacFarlane because, frankly, for someone who trades in abortion jokes and greased up deaf guys, we found his material relatively mild. It was almost as if we were watching a different show, different from the one that so much of the (tweeting) public found so repugnant, so misogynistic  and racist and base. And, to our surprise, we found ourselves in MacFarlane’s corner. Not because we found his turn especially remarkable. But because it wasn’t that bad. And, more importantly, it wasn’t that vile.

Read on: 9 things that we didn’t find so sexist, and a rotten Onion…

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Filed under Analysis, Fashion Show at Lunch, In defense of:, Lists, Other people's stuff, The Big Screen

‘Survivor: Filippines’ Premiere: A Story to Tell

A real man makes his own luck.

-Zane, Survivor: Philippines 

A few days ago, on the cusp of the premiere of Survivor: Filippines: The Rise of Skupin, we were asked if Survivor as a series (not the Survivor Seriesis still entertaining after twenty-four seasons. “How could it possibly be?” they wondered. But we told this person that the show, against all odds, manages to be fresh and new almost every season, that although the game uses essentially the same format that it started with back in Borneo, each season and its cast members offer something new and different, something that makes the show worth watching. Case and point, in the first episode of our new season, we are blessed with Zane, who once again proves that no matter how long this show goes the players will continue to be stupid. And that, my friend, is why, twelve years later, Survivor is still very much worth watching. 

But, in our normal fashion, before we get to end and Zane’s stupidity, let’s start at the start. And we start with Jeff Probst channelling Bruce Willis in Striking Distance and rolling up in a speedboat, looking as confident and determined as ever, putting to rest any worries that one might have had that he’d be preoccupied with this just premiered daytime talker (and, perhaps, in another post it would worth discussing just how much Probst has meant to Survivor, and how much it owes its success to the man in blue). And we get our first look at the new cast, which in addition to the returning players that we’ve already discussed – Mike “Two Scoops” Skupin, Jonathan Penner, and Russell Swan (who, apparently, came directly from a jazz performance) – includes former Facts of Life star Lisa Whelchel and former Major League Baseball MVP Jeff Kent.

A few hundred words on why we hate Jeff Kent and then the game is afoot…

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Filed under Analysis, Be careful what you wish for, Century 21 Reality, Sha la la la, Tribal Council

Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: Gratuitously Gratuitous Milestone

There’s basically been one item – neigh, one person – who has been dominating our top search terms for the last few weeks.  Today is no different, with the list reading as follows: “chelsea survivor, survivor chelsea, survivor one world chelsea, chelsea survivor 2012.”  So, you know what, we’re beyond being clever these days.  We’re just going to give you what you want (and this was one of the few days that did not also include the word “boobs” in that group).

Also, this is our 700th post!!!  Yes, we’ve continuously fallen short of our goals and quotas, but it’s still nice to reach that, ahem, round number, and what better way to celebrate than with something that everyone (who is male and/or likes oiled up, surgically enhanced bodies) can enjoy.  We were going to have special novelty glasses made up for the occasion, but they would have been asymmetrical and that totally would have bothered us, so you’ll just have to wait til our 1001th post.

Thanks for memories! (you two, Chelsea.  And no, that was not a typo).

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Filed under Count Bleh, Gratuitous Search Term Bait, Tribal Council, Yasmine Bleeth

‘Survivor: One World’ Finale – Tops and Bottoms

[SPOILER ALERT!!!]

“I know I lied to you and voted you out, but I have no boobs left so have a little mercy.” – Kim 

It is somewhat fitting and poetic that in a game defined by boobs – both anatomical and intellectual – it was the least endowed woman who triumphed over her more busty peers (and, no, we’re not talking about Nina).  In the end, it’s not what you have here (pointing to our chest), but what you have here (pointing to our head).  And whatever Kim may not have or may have lost in her bosom, she certainly more than made for up with her brains (we could also note how she played the game with a lot of heart, but that would require also pointing to our chest, which would confuse the whole point.  She also played with a lot of guts, but if we’re going to point to anyone’s stomach, it’ll be Colton’s to giggle at his doughy appendix scar).

More: The road to the final goes through the Valley of the Fallen Mikes…

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Flashback!, Freak Out Control, The Worst, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: Redemption Island:’ Gods and Mobsters/We’re Going to Need a Bigger Redemption Island

Survivor Redemption IslandWe sincerely apologize for the absence of Redemption Island recaps the last month; Gawker.TV ceased publishing weekly recaps and our day job has been monopolizing our time.  But, with the finale airing tonight night, we felt it was our responsibility (and our pleasure) to give some thoughts on what’s transpired since our last recap and what is still to come.

Before we delve into the eliminations, duels, blindsides and bonehead moves of the past month, it’s come to our attention that we’ve been going easy on Matt and his love of Jesus.  So, to right that wrong, we’re going to go ahead and dedicate the first part this post to Matt and his savior.

“Are you there, God?  It’s me, Matt.  Why have you abandoned me?”

“Because, Matt, I don’t care about reality television.  I’m the almighty creator, and I have infinitely more important things to do than interfere with or preordain some reality show competition.  And if I were to get involved with any of these shows, it wouldn’t be Survivor, hands down it’d be Top Chef, because a) I fancy myself as a bit of a foodie and b) have you seen the rack on Padma?  One of my finest creations.”

“Oh, so that one set of footprints.  That wasn’t you carrying me on your back?”

“Nope, no way.   All you, buddy.”

“Shit.”

Read on: Some more Matt bashing, why Boston Rob does and doesn’t deserve to win, and our FINAL prediction…

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Filed under Analysis, Be careful what you wish for, Century 21 Reality, It's gross., Tribal Council

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’: The Sweet Taste of Crabs (Director’s Cut)

So this week we entered the post-Russell Hantz era.  And for those of you who complained that Russell was a sneaky, nefarious player who only made it to the finals because he had no chance to win, and that his dominance was a product of editing, and that he was a bore and boorish, well, do you miss him now?  Because, say what you want about the guy, there’s no denying that he made things interesting.  Which is perhaps something you can’t say about last night’s Survivor

Keep reading: Phillips say the darndest things. Plus: Tetris! Rubix Cubes! A giant maze!

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, Growing Pains, It's gross., Tribal Council

Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: Really Gratuitious Search Term Bait of the Day

This (semi) daily feature is explicitly designed to give the people what they want, to basically sell-out to catch a few new readers.  But today’s post goes beyond our usual pandering, basically equating this blog to your typical trashy, exploitative rag.  But, hey, turns out we’re not above that (or this).

Nearly all of today’s search terms referenced Survivor: Redemption Island.  But instead of giving you another Phillip-centric post (which you will get later), we’re going to go with another term.  Quite simply: “survivor kristina boobs.”  Let’s be honest, this is pretty much the reason the Internet exists.

Survivor Redemption Island

You’re welcome, America.

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Filed under Gratuitous Search Term Bait, Tribal Council, Yasmine Bleeth