2013/09/25 · 5:37 pm
After a long, Probst-free summer, Survivor is finally back, and the man in denim is ready to preside over the case of Blood v. Water. With only a few hours until court is back in session, let’s get right to it.
The burning question for this season, as we noted in our pseudo-primer/preview, is “has Gervase, after thirteen years, learned to swim?”
Well, from the looks of his very tentative entry into the water, it seems unlikely.
But it was more of an encouraging start than that of Tyson’s girlfriend Rachel, who apparently agreed to sleep in the jungle for 39 days on the one condition that she can never get wet.
When the Survivors and their loved ones arrive on dry land (including Kat and her boyfriend/big brother Hayden), they learn that they’ll be spending their first night alone, and while the game is afoot, the formation of the tribes will wait. Colton, of course, is back, because no ruptured appendix can deter a monster that terrible. He’s returned with his boyfriend Caleb, which serves to make him more
sympathetic terrible. And even though he has his southern boytoy to take care of him, he’s still livid about having to spend a night in the elements.
More: Take Your Daughters to School Day…
Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, The Worst, Tribal Council
Tagged as #Racist, Always Be Colton, An American Tail, Blood in the Water, Blood vs. Water, Blue Jasmine, Brad Culpepper, Caleb, Candace Woodcock, Cate Blanchett, Colton, Dave Matthews Band, Don't Drink the Water, Doritos Locos Cool Ranch Tacos, Family Guy, Gervase, Hasselhoff, Jeff Probst, Kat, Magic Mike, Monica Culpepper, Paula Deen, Rupert, Signs, Stewie, Survivor, TedDanson, Vytas, Wicked Witch of the West
2013/03/25 · 1:37 pm
Before we dig deep into this week’s episode of Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit, we owe you, the loyal reader, an apology. You see, we had gotten so wrapped up in the sad, soul-sucking sagas of Shamar and Brandon that we had forgotten about Former Federal Agent Fillip(?). Specifically, we had forgotten how capable he was of equal soul-sucking, his stewardship of an imaginary corporation (painfully imaginary to everyone else but him) serving to dominate camp life and suffocating other players. We had hoped – erroneously – that the exit of Shamar and Brandon, two divisive but attention grabbing personalities, would open the game up. Instead, it just passed the speaking baton to the equal of three evils. Not that FFAF is complaining, being the singular intolerable, maddening, petulant male personality left only enhances his chances of making it to the end.
However, Fillip has some flaws in his game. Namely, he thinks he’s running some kind of top secret covert operation and explains this to every player he encounters, creating something more akin to a completely obvious overt debacle. But in addition to his delusions of grandeur, FFAF is also incredibly sensitive. He is easily rattled when someone challenges his leadership and integrity, and he demonstrates this trait when the Favorites returned to camp after they evicted Brandon from the house. Wearing the classic tucked in poncho characteristic of all great CEOs, Fillip was so hurt that Brandon said such mean, unprovoked things about him, and no one stood up for poor FFAF. Corinne jumped in too, saying how uncool it was for Brandon to only pick on her and Fill, that she sympathized with Fill’s frustration and anger with the rest of BeKool for not stepping up to the plate. And this made up The Specialist’s mind once and for all: he needs to get rid of Corinne, because her commiseration clearly makes her the biggest threat, for some reason entirely unclear to us. But that’s why he’s The Specialist and we’re just a dude writing a blog and not running a made-up paramilitary organization.
Continue: Corinne reveals her one true weakness…
Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, The Worst, Tribal Council
Tagged as 2 Legit 2 Quit, Alec Baldwin, Alex Trebek, Always Be Carring, American Girl dolls, BeKool, BMX Bike Sales Matt, Boston Rob, Brandon Hantz, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Burning Love, Caramoan, Cochran, Colton, Corinne, Deep Blue Something, Family Guy, Fans vs. Favorites, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Free Verse, Gay, Girls, Glengarry Glen Ross, God Save the Gay, Goya, Jeff Probst, Jeopardy, Julia, LOST, Magic Mike, Michael, Ozzy, Phillip Sheppard, racecar driver, Reynold, Saddam Hussein, Salute Your Shorts, Shoshana, Survivor, tamagotchis, Tarzan, The game is afoot, Time Travel
2013/02/26 · 8:26 pm
First, some context: we are not especially devoted Seth MacFarlane fans. For a time we watched Family Guy semi-regularly and certainly were a part of that groundswell that helped resurrect the show from its premature grave. But do we consider ourselves MacFarlane evangelists or advocates? Not at all. We still haven’t seen Ted, and are not exceptionally eager to do so. We rarely watch American Dad and we can’t say for sure that we’ve ever caught an episode of The Cleveland Show. We were, however, impressed with his performance hosting the SNL premiere, and it demonstrated that not only could he do funny voices and write an off-color (and oft-humorous) joke, but he could also perform, and perform live, which is not always second nature for a writer-producer-voice actor. Did that mean we were thrilled to learn he was tapped to host this year’s Oscars? No, not really. We thought it was somewhat a knee-jerk, ill-advised decision (probably due, paradoxically, to his mess-up when presenting at the 2012 Emmys). But we knew, at least, that he could hold his own on stage, singing, dancing, cracking wise, and thinking on his feet. Was he going to offend some people? Probably. But that would come with the territory. Wouldn’t that be by design? If you wanted someone with only a love of musical theater and a flair for singing and dancing, then wouldn’t you just turn to Billy Crystal for a record 74th time? So, with Seth MacFarlane, that’s the package, that’s the deal (a faustian bargain, depending on your point of view): some dick and fart jokes and some mildly anti-Semitic and racist humor mixed with some sprinkles of old Broadway.
So were we surprised that MacFarlarne’s hosting turn this past Sunday night was met with a mix of disappointment and outright scorn? No, not at all. That was to be expected. But, after seeing the show, we were taken aback at the amount of criticism leveled at MacFarlane because, frankly, for someone who trades in abortion jokes and greased up deaf guys, we found his material relatively mild. It was almost as if we were watching a different show, different from the one that so much of the (tweeting) public found so repugnant, so misogynistic and racist and base. And, to our surprise, we found ourselves in MacFarlane’s corner. Not because we found his turn especially remarkable. But because it wasn’t that bad. And, more importantly, it wasn’t that vile.
Read on: 9 things that we didn’t find so sexist, and a rotten Onion…
Filed under Analysis, Fashion Show at Lunch, In defense of:, Lists, Other people's stuff, The Big Screen
Tagged as Academy Awards, American Dad, Billy Crystal, Boobs, Bruce Vilanch, Channing Tatum, Chris Brown, Cleveland Show, Django Unchained, Everybody Loves Raymond, Family Guy, George Clooney, Horrible Bosses, Jack Nicholson, Javier Bardem, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, Kate McKinnon, Katy Perry, Kim Kardashian, Kristen Stewart, Les Mis, Lincoln, Magic Mike, Melissa McCarthy, Michael Scott, Oscars, Penelope Cruz, Quvenzhané Wallis, Rex Reed, Rihanna, Ryan Lotche, Salma Hayek, Seth MacFarlane, SNL, Sofia Vergara, The Onion, Twitter, Zero Dark Thirty