Another episode of Survivor: ONE WORLD! is coming up oh-so shortly, so let’s quickly take a look back at last week.
Troyzan is down, but he’s not out. And more than that, he’s really loud and annoying about it, with Jay’s departure a clear indication that he’s staring down the barrel of Kim’s gun (and with Kim being a bridal shop owner, we can only assume it’s a very nice, well-fitting, lacy revolver). Does Troyzan see the writing on the wall and attempt to quietly turn the superfluous members of Kim’s army against their lady-master? Nope, he’s just really cranky and obnoxious, totally offended that they dare turn against Troyzan, and pretty much warns everyone that they will live to regret this, and that he will hunt down and murder them and their families, Keyser Soze style. He doesn’t say this per se, but he definitely gives that impression. Hey, it’s Troy’s island, and he doesn’t let anyone forget it.
The reward challenge is a Survivor classic in the truest sense, a good ol’ fashion
orgy auction. From the minute the Survivors receive the tree mail teasing the challenge, Troyzan resolves to save all his money to bid on a clue or note, assuming there will be some clue or note (which is a safe assumption, considering every season of the show ever). The others, however, weren’t planning on being so miserly, fanning out their dollars bills as soon as Jeff brought a covered dish to the table. Kat, in particular, who may be eating better than she ever has in her life, perhaps has been introduced to a whole array of new foods this season.
And what’s really great about Survivor is the lessons people learn. For example, in this challenge, Kat learns either the ingredients to one of the most common sandwiches ever and/or the second letter of the alphabet.
For Tarzan, he feels a greater burden of responsibility with his $500, choosing to hold onto the money in order to repair the shocks on his Jeep when he returns from the island (even though that’s entirely how this game doesn’t work). However, when Jeff reveals letters from home, Tarzan must make the ultimate decision. A letter from a loved one (his wife? the gorilla that raised him?) or shocks for his Jeep?
In the end, Tarzan follows his heart and chooses the letter. Unfortunately, it’s the ultimate Gift of the Magi situation, as Tarzan opens the wallet to reveal an invoice for $500 from his mechanic. Talk about irony. Such a cruel twist.
Troyzan sticks to his guns and holds out for something to help him advance in the game, even though a letter from a loved one (a swimsuit model?) would go a long way towards assuaging his loneliness. And when that note comes he pounces right on it. And he cannot hide his glee upon winning an advantage in the next Immunity Challenge.
And now it’s time for another edition of Who Wore It Best? This week it’s Leif up against Beetlejuice. You decide!
The Immunity Challenge is a bit like a walk down memory lane (or an exercise in laziness), as it incorporates three of the earlier challenges: untying knots, coconut toss and coconut slingshot bingo. Troyzan’s advantage is that he’s advanced directly to the second round, not that we think he would have had trouble in the first round unraveling all that rope, unlike some of the other competitors.
After the coconut toss, Troyzan and Tarzan advance to the final (sadly, these two are the most physical dominant players left in the game. And one of them can’t even walk and may be incontinent. Well-played ladies, well-played), and it gets pretty vicious right out of the gate.
In the end, Troyzan wins again. And, yet again, he takes pains to remind the other players that this is “his” island and he cannot be beat.
Not that there aren’t moments of tenderness on this show:
Perhaps the less said about that the better.
Despite his earlier cockiness and flagrant lack of sportsmanship, Trozyan, the lone wolf, realizes that no matter how much ownership of the island he may have (and we’re really eager to see the deed), he’ll need help to make it to the end. So, finally, he tries to enlist the less essential members of Kim’s alliance – Leif, Tarzan, Xtina, Alicia – to join up with him and form a wacky group of five who just might make it if they stick together. We’ve been waiting for weeks for this to happen, for someone to try to appeal to Alicia and Xtina’s senses, because, let’s face it, it’s obvious they’re in the outer circle looking in, and as for Leif and Tarzan, they’re clearly going home next (and it looks like they prefer to go home together), so they might as well take a run at breaking up Kim’s stronghold. It makes so much sense, and we were thrilled that it was finally happening.
Of course, that doesn’t happen, and Xtina and Alicia (AND Tarzan) stick with the majority and send poor little Leif home. At least by joining up with Troyzan and writing down Kim’s name Leif can leave with his head held high (figuratively).
ALWAYS REMEMBER LEIF, LOOSE NOT BEING A THREAT AND JUST HANGING AROUND AS LONG AS POSSIBLE AND JUST BEING HAPPY TO BE THERE SINK SHIPS.
And now, finally, our A-B-C of the week:
Always Be Cheap
Troyzan saved up his money for the big non-food prize, and it may have saved him for one more week.
And one more:
Always Be Cargo(pants)
Because if you bring cargo pants you can pretty much always stick some brush in there and lead people to wonder if you have an Immunity Idol. That’s all it takes. We feel pretty confident that Old Navy circa 1997 will soon be receiving a significant uptick in sales.
Trozyan, any final words?