Category Archives: Century 21 Reality

‘Survivor: Filippines’ – Deal or No Deal

You may recall in our first Survivor:Filippines recap that we related a story about a friend asking us if and how Survivor can possibly still be entertaining after so many seasons, and we noted that despite over a decade of challenges and Tribal Councils and blindsides, the show manages to somehow, incredibly, keep offering something we’ve never seen before. And this week’s episode was yet another example of that, and it kind of left our jaw on the ground (just COVERED in mud).

It all unfolds at the Reward Challenge (and boy are we happy that, with the three tribes whittled down to two, we’ve narrowed the focus and returned to separate Reward and Immunity Challenges). The challenge begins promisingly enough, first with our first glimpse Jeff Probst, always a delight, and second with the introduction of the challenge course, which is essentially a single-ball version of American Gladiators’ Atlasphere. However, unlike his namesake, Michael “Two Skupes” Skupin, is not as successful in navigating the field as legendary Gladiator champion Wesley “Two Scooops” Berry. Pretty soon, it just turns into a mud stalemate.

And then Howie Mandel appeared, as if out of thin air…

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Crucial Taunt, Mustachio'd, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: Filippines’ – Player-by-Player Odds and Celebrity Look-Alikes Are Here!

Alright, guys, let’s try to do this before the entirety of the Matisyahu Tribe is completely decimated and all we have left is the memory of Angie’s boobs. We’ve been dark for the last few weeks, but all we missed discussing was the systematic destruction of Russell Swan and the Gang. But after tonight, when Denise and Malcolm will likely be forced into tribe cannibalism for survival and admission to the merge, things should get more interesting. So throw away your binders full of women and let’s get to it.

(Note: we want to thank Nate Silver from the Electoral Blog FiveThirtyEight for providing absolutely no scientific of statistical input for these predictions.)

Abi-Maria: Well, if the idea of the game was to out-crazy, out-make no sense, out-constantly touch your hair, then Abi-Maria would have this game completely locked up. Unfortunately for her, that is not how the game is played, and what she considers strategic, clever gameplay is actually loose cannon paranoia that verges on schizophrenia. Perhaps the reason that she keeps pulling at her tresses is that she’s trying to keep the voices out (or in). Certainly, considering the rapid disintegration of her alliance with RC Cola, her loyalty and judgment are suspect, and we think she’s ripe for a  blind-side down the road. Odds of Winning: 45-1

Up Next: Sinbad!

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Filed under Analysis, Bob Loblaw, Century 21 Reality, Dillon Panthers, Saved by the Bell, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: Filippines’ Premiere: A Story to Tell

A real man makes his own luck.

-Zane, Survivor: Philippines 

A few days ago, on the cusp of the premiere of Survivor: Filippines: The Rise of Skupin, we were asked if Survivor as a series (not the Survivor Seriesis still entertaining after twenty-four seasons. “How could it possibly be?” they wondered. But we told this person that the show, against all odds, manages to be fresh and new almost every season, that although the game uses essentially the same format that it started with back in Borneo, each season and its cast members offer something new and different, something that makes the show worth watching. Case and point, in the first episode of our new season, we are blessed with Zane, who once again proves that no matter how long this show goes the players will continue to be stupid. And that, my friend, is why, twelve years later, Survivor is still very much worth watching. 

But, in our normal fashion, before we get to end and Zane’s stupidity, let’s start at the start. And we start with Jeff Probst channelling Bruce Willis in Striking Distance and rolling up in a speedboat, looking as confident and determined as ever, putting to rest any worries that one might have had that he’d be preoccupied with this just premiered daytime talker (and, perhaps, in another post it would worth discussing just how much Probst has meant to Survivor, and how much it owes its success to the man in blue). And we get our first look at the new cast, which in addition to the returning players that we’ve already discussed – Mike “Two Scoops” Skupin, Jonathan Penner, and Russell Swan (who, apparently, came directly from a jazz performance) – includes former Facts of Life star Lisa Whelchel and former Major League Baseball MVP Jeff Kent.

A few hundred words on why we hate Jeff Kent and then the game is afoot…

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Filed under Analysis, Be careful what you wish for, Century 21 Reality, Sha la la la, Tribal Council

Out of the Fire and into the Philippines: Michael Skupin Returns to ‘Survivor’

There’s a tale we like to tell to novice or late-to-the-party Survivor fans. It’s a story – feels more like myth now – about a tribe called Kucha in a harsh landscape called the Outback. This is pre-Russell Hantz, pre-Boston Rob, even pre-Tom Westman. This is back in the second season of Survivor, when they had no idea that their initial success would continue nearly unabated for twenty-four seasons, that Richard Hatch and his flabby, hairy, naked figure strolling the beach in Borneo had changed the face of television forever. In season two the show was still in unknown territory, not yet a cultural institution with enough memorable moments to fill a double DVD and enough beloved (and reviled) players to field a competitive softball league. This was a long time ago. But all that time we’ve never forgotten about Michael Skupin. And never gave up hope – despite how unlikely it seemed – that he would return. 

We often relate how this season featured a tribe that we found to be as formidable and as likable (save for Kimmi) as any tribe in Survivor’s prodigious history. It featured a pretty young face that we’d come to later know as Elisabeth Hasslebeck, football wife and The View co-host/conservative punching bag, then going by the surname Filarski. And while Kucha lacked the statistical dominance of Tom Westman’s Koror tribe in Palau, the team felt as strong and cohesive as any tribe, and it was getting stronger and more cohesive after each challenge and Tribal Council. There was Jeff Varner, the good-looking, drawling Tar Heel, and his partner-in-crime Alicia Calaway, who could have easily parlayed her Survivor appearance into a berth in the WWE. There was Old Man Rodger, who had formed such a sweet, good-natured, grandfather-granddaughter relationship with Elisabeth. And there was Nick Brown, the bright, young Harvard Law student. And they were all led by Michael Skupin, a midwest father whose receding hairline was more Bruce Willis than Ron Howard. Skupin served as heart and soul of the team, his intelligence and survival skills keeping Kucha focused and united at camp, his athletic ability pacing them in challenges, and his hunting prowess keeping them energized. With his guidance Kucha was poised to decimate the Ogakor Tribe, which featured such bickering, unlikable players as Jerri “the Black Widow” Manthey, arrogant chef Keith Famie, mama’s boy himbo Colby Donaldson, mama surrogate Tina Wesson, and another pretty face named Amber (yep, that Amber); it was a tribe that fell out of favor with us the moment they voted out Maralyn “Mad Dog” Hershey. Ogakor featured several future All-Stars and a couple million dollar winners, but after five tribal councils they were faltering, fractured and frustrated (Colby dousing Jerri with a bucket of water following a Reward Challenge loss, for example), and with one more Immunity Challenge defeat they were in danger of going into the merge down 6-4 to a Kucha Tribe operating with extreme confidence and bellies full of chickens and popcorn and, thanks to Mike, a pig.

And then, in the blink of an eye, it all came crashing down.

And like that, he’s gone…

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Filed under Be careful what you wish for, Century 21 Reality, Freak Out Control, Mancrush, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: One World’ Finale – Tops and Bottoms

[SPOILER ALERT!!!]

“I know I lied to you and voted you out, but I have no boobs left so have a little mercy.” – Kim 

It is somewhat fitting and poetic that in a game defined by boobs – both anatomical and intellectual – it was the least endowed woman who triumphed over her more busty peers (and, no, we’re not talking about Nina).  In the end, it’s not what you have here (pointing to our chest), but what you have here (pointing to our head).  And whatever Kim may not have or may have lost in her bosom, she certainly more than made for up with her brains (we could also note how she played the game with a lot of heart, but that would require also pointing to our chest, which would confuse the whole point.  She also played with a lot of guts, but if we’re going to point to anyone’s stomach, it’ll be Colton’s to giggle at his doughy appendix scar).

More: The road to the final goes through the Valley of the Fallen Mikes…

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Flashback!, Freak Out Control, The Worst, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: One World’: You Are the Weakest Link

Quick look back at last week’s Survivor: ONE WORLD! before the new episode airs in a few hours.

First, let’s get right to it, this week’s Who Wore It Best?: 

Lorenzo Llamas or Troyzan???

You decide!

It’s right into the reward challenge, where this week’s reward is, yet again, a trip to a remote tropical island complete with an island meal. So, once again, pretty much the status quo.  However, this time Kat gets pissed that always a bridal shop owner never a bride Kim wins the challenge and goes back on her word, taking Chelsea instead of Kat to the island feast.  Not fair, Kim!  Kat never gets to eat!

More: Hose down the yard cause it’s Slip-and-Slide time!

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, Saved by the Bell, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: One World’ – Survival of the Stingiest

Another episode of Survivor: ONE WORLD! is coming up oh-so shortly, so let’s quickly take a look back at last week.

Troyzan is down, but he’s not out.  And more than that, he’s really loud and annoying about it, with Jay’s departure a clear indication that he’s staring down the barrel of Kim’s gun (and with Kim being a bridal shop owner, we can only assume it’s a very nice, well-fitting, lacy revolver).  Does Troyzan see the writing on the wall and attempt to quietly turn the superfluous members of Kim’s army against their lady-master?   Nope, he’s just really cranky and obnoxious, totally offended that they dare turn against Troyzan, and pretty much warns everyone that they will live to regret this, and that he will hunt down and murder them and their families, Keyser Soze style.  He doesn’t say this per se, but he definitely gives that impression.  Hey, it’s Troy’s island, and he doesn’t let anyone forget it.

Read on: Ladies and Gentlemen, start your monies…

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, Tribal Council, What? Too fabulous?

‘Survivor: One World’ – Going with Your Gut

First off, we apologize for the two-week hiatus.  We took, what we consider to be, a well-deserved holiday, and are just now getting back into the swing of things.  However, while we were gone Survivor: ONE WORLD! just kept going, including a shake-up at Big Mike’s Co-Ed Dorm that displaced its namesake.  With the Salami and Manano-hope tribes merging earlier than anyone could have or should have expected, the game, as Tarzan would say (and does repeatedly), is afoot, and head into this lastest episode with always-a-bridal-shop-owner-never-a-bride Kim at a crossroads: does she stick with her alliance of four with Chelsea, Troyzan and Jayzan, or maintain her gender ties with the original Salami tribe.  She straddled both sides for a couple Tribal Councils, convincing Jay and Troyzan to vote out the biggest of the Mikes, but now she must pick her side and reveal her true colors.

For Tarzan it’s all just fun and games, but for the rest of the players this is real.

Read on: Jay’s stomach was bigger than his eyes…

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: One World’ – Karma Right Back At Him

For the last few seasons we’ve become increasingly irritated by the presence of God, or, rather, some players’ insistence that he (or she!) has some influence on the game of Survivor, from Matt justifying his repeated exile to Redemption Island as part of Jesus’s plan to Brandon Hantz invoking the will of the Lord in his quest to purge Mikayla from the game (and maybe the Earth) because of her fictional harlot tendencies.  For one season we can deal with these bible thumpers, but as it became a consistent aspect of the game, it became grating, obnoxious even.  Sure, God may love Survivor, but as a true fan he would never get involved.   When it comes to Survivor, God is agnostic, and if he had a dog in the fight, it wouldn’t be someone from the God Squad, it would be a rough and tumble champion, like Sophie or Lt. Tom Westman.  But even if God had a rooting interest, we were sure that he (or she!) had no impact on the game, just like he has nothing to do with Tim Tebow (unless sending him to the Jets is God’s idea of a holy hilarious joke).  However, after this week’s Survivor: One World! we’ve changed our mind.  Because if that wasn’t divine intervention, if that wasn’t an instance of God reigning down vengeance from above, we don’t know what is.

Read on: What goes The Worst comes around…

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, God Laughs, The Worst, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: One World’ – The Game is Afoot, Smelling a But

What continues to astound us about Survivor players, season after season, is how little they understand the format of the game, how they continue to be surprised by surprises they should have seen coming, if only by the precedent set by every season of the show ever.  And what’s particularly interesting in a contradictory way is how they’re so myopic in looking so far ahead.  By already thinking about the end game – i.e. we have a strong alliance that can take us to the end, or at least to the merge – they fail to acknowledge or comprehend the twists and turns that will come along the way, i.e. a tribe shake up.  Because OF course that’s going to happen, ESPECIALLY since the tribes were originally drawn up along gender lines.  When you have such a stark contrast between teams, it’s a matter of a when, not if, the tribes will be realigned.  By handing over immunity to the Salami Tribe last week the men may have accelerated the tribe shake up, but it was a foregone conclusion to occur sometime soon.

As such, the universal look of shock on the players’ faces when they learned at the beginning of this week’s Survivor: ONE WORLD! that the tribes would indeed be redrawn was shocking, but only because they should have seen it coming.  To not have anticipated this shows how clueless these people really are, even Colton, who has self-professed himself to the master of this game.

And what’s up with Monica?  In the first episode she refuses to do a strip tease, then offers to do a pole dance in the third, and now this?  Lots of mixed signals, Monica (also, are you an ex-football player‘s wife or an ex-football player’s wife?  We’re a little confused.  Like we said, lots of mixed signals).

Click here to see Monica strip!

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, The Worst, Tribal Council