Tag Archives: Survivor

2013/05/07 · 3:58 pm

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – It’s All About…

…timing.

In any season of Survivor capitalizing on the moment to strike is of paramount importance, and this has been especially relevant on Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit. Ages from now, when Survivor is long gone and young scholars pore over old texts written about a forgotten television program hosted by former President of Earth Jeff Probst, they will read the story of Caramoan, and it will be the story of Stealth ‘R’ Us, and of those who tried to fight back against the ruling alliance. For that has been the theme of the season, not so much if, but when, a group of insurgents will break apart the dominating force. As a result of poor timing, Corinne failed in her attempt at a coup, and, likewise, Malcolm overplayed his hand and tried to strike too quickly. He was successful in deposing Former Federal Agent Fillip, but, perhaps, FFAF wasn’t the head of the snake after all. He was the outspoken face of Stealth ‘R’ Us, but, in the end, he might have just been a figurehead, the Mandarin, a red herring dangled out as bait. And with Fillip gone, and the corporation starting to fray, it’s only a matter of time before someone makes a move. Could be someone outside the controlling alliance, or could be someone from within. It doesn’t really matter who it is. What matters is when.

But even though there’s a storm coming, and they’re now down to just two amigos, Reynold and Eddie are in good spirits. They won’t let the loss of Malcolm stop them from a good ~~high five~~ fist bump.

More: Tribal Councils on Tribal Councils on Tribal Councils…

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Filed under Analysis, Be careful what you wish for, Comic Book Guy, Commodore 64, Count Bleh, Mancrush, Nicktoons, Tribal Council

Tagged as 2 Legi, Always Be Charming, Andrea, Brenda, Brother Mouzone, Caramoan, Cochran, David Koresh, Donkeylips, donuts, Duck Hunt, Edamame, Erik, Fans vs. Favorites, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Game of Thrones, Goonies, Jeff Probst, Karate Kid, Kerry Von Erich, Lorenzo Lamas, Malcolm, Michael Cera, mustache, NES, No Homers Club, No Reynold Club, One-Eyed Willie, Renegade, Reynold, Salute Your Shorts, Spike Lee, Sun Tzu, Survivor, the climb, The Mandarin, The Simpsons, The Wire, Yankees vs. Indians, Youth in Revolt

2013/04/30 · 1:02 pm

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Aw, Nuts!

After the stunning, shocking, game-changing Tribal Council that saw Team Bro play three Immunities and send Former Federal Agent(?) Fillip packing on the previous Survivor: Caramoan, Eddie thought that before everyone started strategizing and scrambling he’d just deliver one of his classic zingers to lighten the mood.

That Eddie. 2 much. And 2 Legit 2 Quit.

But the good vibes don’t last too long. The next morning Brenda wakes up just super cranky. Somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed! Or maybe she saw something that freaked her out. Wonder what that could have been…

More: What terrified Brenda? What gave Dawn diarrhea? And what’s all over their faces???

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Huh?, It's gross., MS Paint, Tribal Council

Tagged as 2 Legit 2 Quit, Always Be Combing, Anchorman, Andrea, Audrina Partridge, boat, Brenda, Caramoan, Cat Poop, Challenge Monster, Cochran, Comb the desert, Dawn Meehan, Die Hard, Eddie, Family Guy, Fans vs. Favorites, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Hadron Collider, Haiku, Hair Club for Men, Jeff Probst, Jerry Maguire, Jonathan Lipnicki, Kim Kardashian, Let's Make a Deal, Malcolm, Malcolm & Eddie, Maria Sharapova, Mexican Standoff, Peanut Butter, Penner, Puck, Real World, San Francisco, Spaceballs, Survivor, Sy Sperling, Team Bro, The Hills, The Office, The Real World, UPN, Venus Williams, Wayne's World

2013/04/23 · 12:49 pm

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Mutiny Aboard the S.R.Us. Fillifore

On the last Survivor: Caramaon – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit we were privy to one of the greatest, most unexpected Tribal Councils of all-time, with confusion going into the vote causing to Malcolm flip his vote to Reynold and then subsequently persuade Reynold to gift his own Immunity to Malcolm. That series of events we knew would be hard to beat, even to approximate. To think so, to hope so, would be reckless and negligent, and truly unfair to the institution known as Survivor.

But this show is predicated on surprising you. And just when you think you’ve seen it all, there might just be another shocking, breathtaking turn of events right around the corner.

First, these kids are creepy. An unwelcome visit from Kid Sister and My Buddy. Can’t tell if they’re expressing joy or crying for help, like Hasidic children on a school bus.

Continue: Dawn’s a damsel in distress…

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Filed under Analysis, Brilliance, Century 21 Reality, Freak Out Control, Tribal Council, What? Too fabulous?

Tagged as 2 Legit 2 Quit, 30 Rock, Always Be Committed, American Dad, Andrea, balls, Caramoan, Carl Weathers, community, Daenerys Targaryen, Danny Devito, David After the Dentist, Dawn Meehan, Dimmer Switch, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Friendship Bracelets, Goose, Hardy Boys, Harry, Home Alone, Jeff Probst, Kid Sister, Liz Lemon, Malcolm & Eddie, My Buddy, Palau, Pippi Longstocking, Pretty Good Western, Reynold, Survivor, Team Bro, The Penguin, The Tuxedo Begins, Tom Westman, Top Gun, UPN, Where are my dragons? Grape Lady

2013/04/14 · 7:42 pm

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Brodeo Clowns

On Survivor, such as in life, if you don’t learn from the past then you’re doomed to repeat it. We see this time and time again, as if to illustrate to young, aspiring players what not to do, teaching us lessons while we watch from our couches. Don’t get involved romantically, don’t go home with an Idol in your pocket, don’t throw challenges. Watch, observe, absorb, and if something doesn’t work, don’t try it again. However, while the power of history is strong, it is no match for hubris; it cannot outlast, outwit, or outplay the person who believes that they can go right where others have gone wrong.

Last week on Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit, Corinne believed that she could turn the game on its head, upend her alliance and install herself as new Queen of the island. But, even with the numbers already in hand, she got too confident, too sure, and talked too much. She flew too close to the sun and not only were her wings burned, so was her blue bikini. She had the opportunity to make a gigantic move, but overreached, talked to Dawn, and became the author of her own demise. Hopefully, one would think, that the other players would take notice and not commit the same mistakes. However, this is Survivor. History repeats itself. But, thankfully, in oh so different and mind-blowing ways.

Continue: Bro down or bro, down?

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Tagged as 2 Legit to 2 Quit, All the Real Girls, Always Be Counting, Andrea, Arya Stark, Bam Margera, Bo Jackson, Brenda GIF, Buddy Bands, Caramoan, Cochran, Dawn Meehan, Ed Amame, Eddie, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Fans vs. Favorites, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Game of Thrones, Good Luck Chuck, Gun Shy, Jack Black, Jackass, Jaqen, Kathryn Bigelow, Lily, LOST, Malcolm, Married with Children, Modern Family, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, No Homers Club, No Ma'am, Not Penny's boat, Premonition, Reynold, Rogue, Sandra Bullock, Saved by the Bell, Sherri, Snakes, Stealth 'R' Us, Survivor, Survivor Palau, Team Bro, Tecmo Bowl, Tenacious D, The Simpsons, The Snorkels, Tom Westman, X-Men: The Animated Series, Zero Dark Thirty

2013/04/06 · 4:39 pm

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Throat Punch

One of the great paradoxes in Survivor – an element of the game that makes this show truly fantastic and always enjoyable – is that to make it far you must build a strong alliance with a numbers advantage, but a strong alliance that has the numbers almost always means that the alliance will need to turn on itself at some point, often times the weaker members taking out the strong. In many ways, you’re penalized for playing the game too well. If you form an alliance that is too strong, too large, you may wind up eating you own tail. And frequently, this happens just after the merge, which is why this junction in the Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit is so critical. It could be the last chance to dump some dead weight – or a significant threat – before getting too deep. With some players on the outs looking to get back in and other Survivors feeling vulnerable in their alliance, this is the time when loyalties shift, and when the permutations sometimes feel endless. This is why you can watch this show for twenty-three seasons and still see something new.

However, before we get to a merge the BeKool tribe, still not sure if actually voted out some person named Julia or just busted the myth of her existence, returns to camp from Tribal Council and Stealth ‘R’ Us CEO Former Federal Agent(?) Fillip immediately calls a board meeting. “Conference room, now!” Stepping into his executive chambers (a completely visible space four feet from the shelter), Fill clings to the tall tale he spun to Cochran last week, explaining to S’R’U Senior VPs Dawn and Corinne that he deliberately threw the Immunity Challenge in order to vote off that person who may or may not have existed (Gulia was it?). Of course, Dawn and Corinne know this is an absolute lie that Fillip absolutely believes, and, through some feat of herculean strength, play along with FFAF’s delusion. But they know that he’s living in a fantasy world, and Corinne is starting to find it really embarrassing.

More: Dawn goes to her special place, Cochran shocks the world, and Mutiny aboard the HMS Stealth ‘R’ Us…

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Filed under Analysis, It's gross., Saved by the Bell, Tribal Council

Tagged as 2 Legit 2 Quit, Always Be Chewing, Balut, Bar Mitzvah, BeKool, Birdie, Bobby Jon Drinkard, Boston Rob, Buddy Bands, Caramoan, Carol Burnett, Changnesia, Cochran, Corinne, Crab Juice, Dawn, Enil Edam, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, Fans vs. Favorites, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Friends Forever, Goya, Jeff Probst, Lady and the Tramp, Malcolm, mashed potato, McDonaldland, Not Penny's boat, Palau, Saved by the Bell, Screech, Sending our love down the well, shipworms, Simpsons, Sonia Sotomayor, Stealth 'R' Us, Step by Step, Survivor, Tom Westman, VH1, Wicked Single

2013/04/03 · 11:12 am

‘Survivor Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit’ – Celebrity Doppelgängers and (Remaining) Player-by-Player Odds

Well, this was a long time coming, but now that we’ve reached the all-important game-changing merge and oxygen-sucking loudmouths Shamar and Brandon are gone, it seems like a good time – perhaps the only time – to deliver our Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit celebrity look-alikes and player odds (for those Survivors still in the game). Let’s do this a little differently this time around and look at the Favorites then the Fans. We’d tell you to buckle up, but that seems really unnecessary considering you’re probably just sitting on a couch or at a desk or maybe on the subway, and even then it’s the movement of the train and not the content of this article that is most likely to create some turbulence.

FAVORITES

Andrea: If we want to talk about people who really learned from Boston Rob (as opposed to Former Federal Agent(?) Fillip), then Andrea might be the one in that discussion. Her acuity for the game is what hurt her last time – and her infatuation with Matt – as Boston Rob respected her ability and intelligence but more importantly recognized her as a threat. There’s no one as cunning as Boston Rob on Caramoan, so Andrea has a shot to put it all together this time, especially now that she’s made the merge with the new powerhouse Goya tribe. However, there’s something in those smokey eyes that tells us that she’s going to play the game a little too hard and a little too paranoid, and that will be her downfall (much like Tara Reid experienced a similar fall. But that was due to the shots of Patrón and required several stitches). 11:1

The rest!

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, MS Paint, Tribal Council, Winterfallen

Tagged as 2 Legit 2 Quit, 28 Days, Allie, Andrea, Baxter Stockman, BMX Bike Sales Matt, Boston Rob, Brandon Hantz, Brenda, Caramoan, Carl Weathers, Cochran, Corinne, Dawn, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, Eddie, Erik, Evil Grimace, Fans vs. Favorites, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Francesca, Girls, God Save the Gay, God's Shoes, Good Will Hunting, Grace Jones, Hope, Jane Curtain, Jon Snow, Julia, Kat, Kate & Allie, Laura, LeBron James, Mabel, Malcolm, Married with Children, Matt Damon, McDonaldland, Miami Heat, Michael, monkey, Napoleon Dynamite, Phillip Sheppard, Pitfall, Pitfall Harry, Pixar Cars, Powder, Predator, Reynold, Sandra Bullock, Shamar, Sherri, Shoshanna, Survivor, Susan St. James, Tara Reid, The Proposal, TMNT

2013/04/02 · 3:42 pm

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Vanilla Gorilla

Previously on Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit we found out that Corinne has a truly curious and rather unsettling affection (affectation?) for gays. Well, it seems that everyone is letting all their skeletons out of the closet now, as this person who is apparently named Julia has decided she wants to pretend she has some semblance of a personality and reveal something very private and kind of gross.

TMI, Ju…damn, forgot her name.

Michael is taking the loss of his partner in crime (the crime being losing every Immunity Challenge) BMX Bike Sales Matt surprisingly well. In fact, he’s single and ready to mingle. And he’s in luck! Corinne is more than eager to envelop Michael and keep him close to her bosom, Mama Corinne keeping him safe in this game as long as she can. Good thing she’s been quiet about her love of gays or else someone in her alliance might start to grow suspicious. Way to play it close to the blue bikini top!

In case you’ve missed every episode so far, Former Federal Agent(?) Fillip is in phenomenal shape. The guy is a freak of nature. Unbeatable in anything that emphasizes upper body strength, which, as we know, is every Survivor challenge ever. He’s so strong that he can even beat a physical specimen like John Cochran at arm wrestling. JOHN COCHRAN! A pasty yet sunburnt indoor kid who could serve as Captain America’s “before” photo; someone who is probably half Fillip’s size (which means that if Cochran played basketball at Fill’s gym then he’d be balling against guys four times his size. Wow!). So how could FFAF defeat the Hulk-like Cochran (Hulk-like in so far as he’s probably really good at physics)? Well, he’s got a can’t-lose technique.

Read on: Phil goes over the top, but is he too top heavy?

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Count Bleh, Golden Girls, Tribal Council, What? Too fabulous?, Winterfallen

Tagged as 2 Legit 2 Quit, Allied Powers, Always Be Comatose, arm wrestling, Art of War, Back to the Track, Batman, Bea Arthur Golden Girls, beach run, BeKool, Big Toss, Bill Cosby, Boston Rob, Breast feeding, British Bulldog, Caramoan, Cochran, Combustible Huxtable, Corinne, Dan Quayle, Dancin' Homer, Dawn, Dead People, Erik, Fans vs. Favorites, foopah, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Game of Thrones, Gay, Girls, Goya, grappling hook, Gulliver's Travels, Haley Joel Osment, Jeff Probst, Jim Carrey, Julia, Lex Luger, Lifeguard, Lloyd Bentsen, Malcolm, Malcolm & Eddie, Malcolm Jamal-Warner, Michael, Mike Skupin, Nutty Cuckoo Super King, Over the Top, Palau, Pontiac Aztec, Poseidon Adventure, Reynold, Ring Around the Rosie, Robin Arryn, Shoshanna, Sixth Sense, SNL, Stealth 'R' Us, Survivor, Sylvester Stallone, Team Bro, The Cosby Show, The Real World, Tom Westman, UPN, WWE, You're no Jack Kennedy

2013/03/25 · 1:37 pm

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – The Say Gay Kid

Before we dig deep into this week’s episode of Survivor: Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit, we owe you, the loyal reader, an apology. You see, we had gotten so wrapped up in the sad, soul-sucking sagas of Shamar and Brandon that we had forgotten about Former Federal Agent Fillip(?). Specifically, we had forgotten how capable he was of equal soul-sucking, his stewardship of an imaginary corporation (painfully imaginary to everyone else but him) serving to dominate camp life and suffocating other players. We had hoped – erroneously – that the exit of Shamar and Brandon, two divisive but attention grabbing personalities, would open the game up. Instead, it just passed the speaking baton to the equal of three evils. Not that FFAF is complaining, being the singular intolerable, maddening, petulant male personality left only enhances his chances of making it to the end.

However, Fillip has some flaws in his game. Namely, he thinks he’s running some kind of top secret covert operation and explains this to every player he encounters, creating something more akin to a completely obvious overt debacle. But in addition to his delusions of grandeur, FFAF is also incredibly sensitive. He is easily rattled when someone challenges his leadership and integrity, and he demonstrates this trait when the Favorites returned to camp after they evicted Brandon from the house. Wearing the classic tucked in poncho characteristic of all great CEOs, Fillip was so hurt that Brandon said such mean, unprovoked things about him, and no one stood up for poor FFAF. Corinne jumped in too, saying how uncool it was for Brandon to only pick on her and Fill, that she sympathized with Fill’s frustration and anger with the rest of BeKool for not stepping up to the plate. And this made up The Specialist’s mind once and for all: he needs to get rid of Corinne, because her commiseration clearly makes her the biggest threat, for some reason entirely unclear to us. But that’s why he’s The Specialist and we’re just a dude writing a blog and not running a made-up paramilitary organization.

Continue: Corinne reveals her one true weakness…

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Tagged as 2 Legit 2 Quit, Alec Baldwin, Alex Trebek, Always Be Carring, American Girl dolls, BeKool, BMX Bike Sales Matt, Boston Rob, Brandon Hantz, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Burning Love, Caramoan, Cochran, Colton, Corinne, Deep Blue Something, Family Guy, Fans vs. Favorites, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Free Verse, Gay, Girls, Glengarry Glen Ross, God Save the Gay, Goya, Jeff Probst, Jeopardy, Julia, LOST, Magic Mike, Michael, Ozzy, Phillip Sheppard, racecar driver, Reynold, Saddam Hussein, Salute Your Shorts, Shoshana, Survivor, tamagotchis, Tarzan, The game is afoot, Time Travel

2013/03/20 · 4:06 pm

Angels and Demons: On the MTV ‘Real World’ Marathon

Ahead of the premiere of the twenty-eighth (!) season of The Real World, set somewhat curiously in Portland, MTV has scheduled a weekend marathon of three “classic” seasons of the trailblazing reality show. Starting Friday night at 8pm MTV will air the first entry in the series, the groundbreaking Real World: New York, followed by the booze and sex soaked Las Vegas season Saturday at 2pm, and rounded out by the Puck and Pedro-fronted season three, Real World: San Francisco, beginning 8am Sunday. While we applaud the selection of NY and SF as 66.6% of the marathon, we cannot support the further promulgation of Las Vegas, especially at the expense of more worthy, important, less debaucherous seasons like Los Angeles, New Orleans, Seattle, or even the underrated Miami.

Choosing New York to lead off the marathon is a no-brainer. It was not just the first season of the long-running series, it defined what the series would be. Like Richard Hatch on the maiden season of Survivor, The Real World: New York set the mold for what this show would be, and, in many ways, set the course for Reality TV for the next twenty years. It’s cultural relevance and impact cannot be understated. Likewise for San Francisco, which was even more captivating and controversial for its inclusion of Pedro, an HIV positive Cuban-American, and Puck, a bellicose bike messenger with questionable hygiene and even more questionable social skills. This season – with its portrayal of a gay man (living, not dying) with AIDS and the caustic, boorish punk who alienated his housemates to the point of eviction – truly launched the show, and as well as awareness of the deadly disease, into the public consciousness, establishing The Real World as an MTV institution and a cultural phenomenon with immense significance. Nearly ten years later, Las Vegas began to undo everything that San Francisco and its peers has established.

Read on: Sin City or the City of Angels?

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Filed under Analysis, Nostalgia Corner, The Worst, TV Killed the Music Video Star

Tagged as 7 Strangers, Aaron, Bad Girls Club, Basketball Wives, Beth S., Beth Stolarczyk, David Edwards, Dominic, Glen, Henry Rollins, hot tub, In Living Color, Irene, It wasn't not funny, Jon Brennan, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Miami, MTV, New York, Pedro, Perch, Portland, Puck, Richard Hatch, RW/RR Challenge, San Francisco, steubenville, Survivor, Tami Roman, The Jersey Shore, The Real World, Trishelle, VH1

2013/03/18 · 5:00 pm

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – The Devil’s Hantz

Well, we all saw this coming. We saw this coming back on South Pacific when he accused Mikayla of being an evil temptress, and we saw this coming when he went back and forth and back with his relationship with God and spoke of battles with inner demons. And we saw this coming in episode two of Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit when, in beautiful night vision, his neck tattoo glistening in the twilight, he threatened to go on a rampage. So no one – no one – should have been surprised when Brandon Hantz finally lost it on Survivor: Caramoan. Which isn’t to say it was predictable, or that it wasn’t riveting, truly unsettling television.

But first, who’s that girl next to Michael and Eddie?!

Oh, right, Julia. That person that exists on the Fans tribe. At this point, she’s our pick to win it all, solely because everyone will keep forgetting that she’s there and no one will ever write her name down. Also, she might be a ghost.

More: Seriously guys, you should really hide rice and beans…

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Tagged as 2 Legit 2 Quit, 30 Rock, Alex Trebek, Always Be Crazy, Ants in the Pants, BeKool, BMX Bike Sales Matt, Brandon Hantz, Bro Body Douche, Caramoan, Dane Cook, Don't Break the Ice, Eddie, Fans vs. Favorites, Fighting, Former Federal Agent Fillip, Game of the Thrones, Ghost Whisperer, Goya, Grenada, Jackass, Jeff Probst, Johnny Appleseed, Julia, Legends of the Hidden Temple, loco, Long Island Medium, Michael, Mikayla, Pedro Zamora, Phillip Sheppard, Puck, Pyat Pree, Real World, Reynold, Ric Flair, Rocky, Russell Hantz, San Francisco, SF, Shamar, South Pacific, Spaceballs, Superman, Survivor, Vulcan Nerve Pinch, Woo

Tag Archives: Survivor

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – It’s All About…

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Aw, Nuts!

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Mutiny Aboard the S.R.Us. Fillifore

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Brodeo Clowns

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Throat Punch

‘Survivor Caramoan – Fans vs. Favorites 2 Legit 2 Quit’ – Celebrity Doppelgängers and (Remaining) Player-by-Player Odds

FAVORITES

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Vanilla Gorilla

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – The Say Gay Kid

Angels and Demons: On the MTV ‘Real World’ Marathon

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – The Devil’s Hantz

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