Tag Archives: Die Hard

‘Survivor: Caramoan’ – Aw, Nuts!

After the stunning, shocking, game-changing Tribal Council that saw Team Bro play three Immunities and send Former Federal Agent(?) Fillip packing on the previous Survivor: Caramoan, Eddie thought that before everyone started strategizing and scrambling he’d just deliver one of his classic zingers to lighten the mood.

That Eddie. 2 much. And 2 Legit 2 Quit.

But the good vibes don’t last too long. The next morning Brenda wakes up just super cranky. Somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed! Or maybe she saw something that freaked her out. Wonder what that could have been…

More: What terrified Brenda? What gave Dawn diarrhea? And what’s all over their faces???

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Huh?, It's gross., MS Paint, Tribal Council

Reginald VelJohnson in Uniform Moment of the Week: Turner and Sutton

Okay, fine, we’re cheating this week.  In this clip Reginald VelJohnson isn’t dressed in what you’d typically call a uniform.  But he’s still playing a cop, and when we first conceived of this weekly feature it was under the moniker “Reginald VelJohnson as a Cop Moment of the Week,” so this one still sorta counts.  Plus, you could totally argue that a brown sport coat is a police detective’s uniform.  It’s a stretch, but we won’t fight you on it.

But, most importantly, this is a clip from the seminal 80s canine-crime-comedy classic Turner and Hooch, which means that Reggie VelJ carries his shield alongside Jumped the Snark favorite Tom Hanks.  And any collaboration with Hanks needs to be acknowledged, traditional uniform or not (plus this gives us an excuse to link tomhanksimals).  So, ladies and gentlemen, complete with the requisite coffee mug, here’s Detective David Sutton, learning the ins and outs of precinct paperwork from fellow Detective Scott Turner:

We do have one bone to pick with the YouTube user who was kind enough to post this video, Platypus Robot. He (or she) remarked in the description that “going from Bruce Willis to Tom Hanks is a hell of a demotion.”  Well, we would be remiss if we did not fervently disagree.  If you want to restrict this argument to whom would you want to save you in a ridiculous hostage situation, John McClane or Scott Turner, of course we’d take Willis’ McClane every time.  But if we’re talking strictly Willis or Hanks, c’mon.  Hanks all the way, no contest.  The man is one of the best actors of his generation, and by many accounts one of the funniest.  Now, as far as we know, Hanks doesn’t front any blues bands, but we shouldn’t hold that against him.  He’s too busy educating the American public about the lunar missions and World War II (and pranking Julia Roberts).

So, Reginald VelJohnson, consider yourself Hanxed.  We have no doubt you appreciate the significance.

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Filed under Hanx, Reginald VelJohnson, What? Too fabulous?

Reginald VelJohnson in Uniform Moment of the Week: Who You Gonna Call?

Sure, Reginald VelJohnson played a cop on Family Matters and a police detective in Die Hard.  But when Sigourney Weaver is possessed by the demon Zuul and the Sumerian god Gozer is poised to make a destructive comeback, whom do you think the Ghostbuster’s called when they needed a prison guard?  That’s right, Reginald V (credited here as “Reggie):

Smooth like Velveeta, sharp like VelJohnson.

Ivan Reitman, make sure you get this guy back for the third one!

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Filed under Reginald VelJohnson

Reginald VelJohnson in Uniform Moment of the Week: Debut Edition!

We recently had the pleasure of viewing Die Hard for the very first time (seriously!) and we were struck by a number of things.  For example, it’s really, really good, Bruce Willis had a lot more hair; Alan Rickman is super creepy; you can totally see its influence on Community‘s paintball episode; and the late 80s were a weird time when computer screens only broadcast in two colors, green and black.  But perhaps our biggest takeaway was this: Reginald VelJohnson sure does play a lot of cops and other uniformed personnel.  And with that small thought, that tiny light bulb, was birthed yet another Jumped the Snark semi-regular feature.  So, without anymore hesitation, our first installment of the “Reginald VelJohnson in Uniform Moment of the Week:”

Yes, we did that.

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Filed under Greendale Human, Reginald VelJohnson, TGIF, The Big Screen