ACT FAST, GUYS! TIME IS ALMOST UP!
Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: Two Wisemen (Including One Westman)
In an effort to continue with this week’s Saved by the Bell theme for our Gratuitous Search Term Bait, we’re going to put a new twist on a classic, that being “tom westman.” As Survivor‘s elder statesmen, Westman was a strong, reliable father figure, a role model for the younger contestants. He conducted himself with dignity and honor, showing respect and compassion for others. Just playing the game the right right way. And the guy looked pretty damn good in a beard. Which reminds us of someone from Saved by the Bell. No, not Mr. Belding. But Mr. Derek Morris, as played by the terrific John Sanderford. Here he is, like Westman in a salt and pepper beard, in his standout Saved by the Bell moment, educating Zack on the dangers of drunk driving, doling out equal parts wisdom and love. We’re just going to stand back for a moment and let Sanderford’s work speak for itself.
Do they give belated Emmy’s for “Guest Actor on a Saturday Morning Sitcom?” Because they should. For this.
Last Week on ‘Top Chef’: An Intersection on the Venn Diagram of Things That We Love
A new Top Chef in just a few hours. But can anything top last week’s episode with featuring Sesame Street AND Target? Probably not!
A few highlights!
- COOKIE MONSTER. DUH!
- Elmo suggests perhaps making a cookie out of zucchini and daikon and dirt and cobwebs and rice cakes and Canadian pennies. Luckily, Cookie Monster tells him to shut the fuck up.
- Cookie Monster invokes the five second rule and is pretty much just the best.
The Best
More: Cookie Time! And then it’s off to Target for a slumber party! Bring your green hat!
Today in ‘Today’: Heyyyy
GUYS! We need to let Kathie Lee and Hoda know if we like their new sign-on!
Frankly, we’re for it!
What do you two think?
Ouch. Although, we would prefer it if KLG & Hoda-woman got on the same page before air. C’mon, gals. It’s 10am. Do you know where your lines are?
Filed under Today in Today
We Did It! 500(+) Posts!
Well, actually, due to a rather unbelievably productive early part of 2011, we passed the 500 post mark a few weeks ago, somewhere around the time we started the Saved by the Bell Project. In fact, we’ve sped from 400 posts to 500 in just about a month, crushing any previous 100 post dash on this blog. So congrats everyone, gold medals all around! All that training, all those cold mornings getting up before dawn to take us to the ice rink, all those long weekends devoted to out-of-state tournaments, it’s all been worth it, and we can’t thank you enough for making it happen.
We promised a blow-out for #500, but since we got there so quickly, and since it’s already pretty far in the rear view mirror, and since we’ve hope to approximate this pace for the foreseeable future, we’ve going to hold off on the real fireworks for another milestone. Maybe for 600. Or 750. Or, dare we say it, 1000? Maybe. Just maybe.
But, until then, here’s a little something to celebrate this joyous occasion:
(And now that we’ve listened to this song for the first time in ages, we realize that it doesn’t make sense. Walking 500 miles and then walking 500 more would equal a total of 1,000 miles. Where do they get 5,000 miles from? They’d need to walk another 500 miles 8 times to reach 5,000 miles. But if her door is only 500 miles and then another 500 miles away that additional 4,000 miles would be totally unnecessary right? Unless they’re using some weird version of the metric system. They are Scottish, after all. Of course, if that was the case it would be 500 kilometers. Well, actually, 500 miles would be roughly 805 km, which we understand is not nearly as catchy. But we just don’t think we’ll be able to listen to this song, and The Proclaimers in general, in the same way anymore. Also, if both brothers showed up at this girl’s door would she have to choose one? They’d be the “men” who walked 5,000 (or 1,000) miles to show up at her door.)
Filed under Count Bleh, Makes You Think, Tyranasaurus Sex
‘Saved by the Bell’ THE FINAL SEASON
This is it, folks. We estimated it would take us about two days to get to this point. Instead it’s taken 3 weeks. But, nevertheless, we’ve arrived. And the end. Well, the beginning of the end.
6:14pm, Season 5, Disc 1, Episode 1: ” The Fight”
00:10: Well, right out of the gate we have to compliment the DVD menus for this season. MUCH improved.
01:49: My school never had the “pool on the roof” gag. I kind of regret that. Feel like I didn’t have a proper high school experience.
02:32: Fun Fact: Elizabeth Berkley turned 44 during this season.
Huh?: ‘Take Me Home Tonight’
We’ve seen the trailer for Take Me Home Tonight three or four times and we still don’t get it. What is the point of this movie? What year is it? Doesn’t this movie belong in 1988? Why would we want to see this movie without (the late) Corey Haim? And, even then, without Corey Feldman we’re not interested. What could this movie possibly add to the one-wild-and-crazy-life-changing-drug-and-sex-filled-night genre? And we generally adore Topher Grace, so it’s hard for us to be so down on this one.
Take Me Home Tonight, get outta my car and into my trunk.
Filed under Huh?, The Big Screen
We Solve the Mystery of ‘Survivor’ Phillip’s Hurrah; Is This the Key to His Federal Agent (?) Past???
When we heard Former Federal Agent (?) Phillip release a deep, guttural, primitive grunt (twice) during the Survivor: Redemption Island premiere we couldn’t shake the feeling that we had heard that noise somewhere before.
(Also, we really have no idea what he’s talking about here. Something about male lions sniffing each other and dancing. Is he divulging a crush on Boston Rob?)
But then it dawned on us.
NHL 93. A body check. SFX #2.
Does this mean that when Phillip informed his tribe that he was a former federal agent for three government agencies one of those organizations was EA Sports? Was Phillip, in fact, part of a deep covert operation to provide the sound effects for the greatest sports video game in the history of video games? Have we uncovered Phillip’s classified resume?
YOU MAKE THE CALL
Sure seems like it.
HURRAH! AWOOGA!
Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: Hellooooo Nurse
We’re inclined to make this an all Saved by the Bell week of Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day, in celebration of finally finishing our (prolonged) SBTB marathon. We don’t know what Tuesday through Friday will hold, but we’re going to start off in that direction with today’s bait “nurse jennifer saved by the bell.”
If you’ve already read our Saved by the Bell Season 2 semi-live blog you’ll know that, despite our eternal affection for Kelly Kapowski, we’ve also always harbored a crush on Nurse Jennifer, as portrayed by Nancy Valen in the episode “From Nurse to Worse” (oddly enough, if we had to name five girls that we had a thing for as a young man, the list might include three ladies from Saved by the Bell: Thiessen, Valen and Rena Sofer, who played Zack’s love interest in Hawaiian Style). It was a very brief role, but Valen left an indelible impression on us, a lasting impact that stays with us today. Indeed, we remember Valen more for her turn at Bayside than her one season on Baywatch. And normally we hated any of Zack’s love interests other than Kelly, abhorring anyone who might get in the way of their eternal happiness. But this particular time we didn’t mind so much. We weren’t happy that Zack was risking his relationship with Kelly for Nurse Jennifer, but we certainly couldn’t blame him.
We mean, c’mon, what sophomore wouldn’t fall for this school nurse? (just another example of how everything was better at Bayside)
Jumped The Snark 