Imagine waking up in a beautiful seaside location, the crashing waves slowly lulling you out of your slumber, the faraway echoes of exotic birds gently coaxing you out of dreamland, a warm, refreshing breeze serving as nature’s alarm clock. And then imagine waking up after nine hungry days in a hot, humid, bug-infested jungle and the first thing you see is Phillip’s nasty, tattered, ill-fitting, sun-faded red underwear. Because that’s exactly the waking nightmare for the members of the Ometepe tribe as we begin this week’s Survivor: Redemption Island. Any momentum they had after defeating Zapatera last week is immediately erased by the actual sight of Phillip’s junk escaping from his delicates, forcing the Survivor editing team to employ their best blurring skills. But, to Phillip’s credit, he seems entirely comfortable just flapping in the wind. And completely oblivious. But since we’re watching this from the safety of our couch (and, thankfully, with the strategically placed blurs intact) we’re not complaining, because, besides Russell, Phillip is the most entertaining player on the show.
Tag Archives: Tom Westman
Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: You Look Wonderful Tonight
In just two short weeks Survivor competitor Phillip has already become a legend on this blog, taking his spot in the Jumped the Snark Hall of Fame with Tom Westman, Rashida Jones, Jason Sudeikis, Anderson Cooper, Guy Fieri, Jimmy Fallon and Tom Hanks. So it’s no surprise that one of our top search terms today was “survivor phillip.”
We talked about Phillip at length in last week’s Survivor recap and posted the clip of what will probably be his signature Survivor moment – hunting a crab with a spear clad only in his cherry red skivvies – but here’s a very quick moment of Phillip at his creepy, confident best (and a gratuitous cleavage shot) from later in that show. We weren’t able to include it the first time around, but we’re pleased to bring it to you now. Thanks for the second chance, everyone! Redemption all around.
Filed under Count Bleh, Gratuitous Search Term Bait, Tribal Council
‘Survivor: Redemption Island’: I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me (Director’s Cut)
We started this week’s episode of Survivor: Redemption Island with our first glimpse of, well, Redemption Island. After being voted at the first Tribal Council, Francesca arrived at her new home and quickly found a signpost describing life on the island, “Welcome to Redemption Island: No Smoking, No Yelling, No Swearing; Daily Menu: Breakfast – Rice; Lunch – Rice, Dinner – Rice.” Francesca can’t find a flint, so she’s worried about freezing during night, but really she’s just happy to be away from Former Federal Agent (?) Phillip.
Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Good Humor, The Worst, Tribal Council
Ladies and Gentlemen, Your Next Movie Star (And He’s Just Like Us)
As if Jason Sudeikis needed to endear himself to us even more, he went on Conan last night that and showed that he’s into the exact same things we are: beer and wings.
Vodpod videos no longer available.After the jump we detail our very personal experiences with Natty Light and Buffalo Wild Wings
Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: Two Wisemen (Including One Westman)
In an effort to continue with this week’s Saved by the Bell theme for our Gratuitous Search Term Bait, we’re going to put a new twist on a classic, that being “tom westman.” As Survivor‘s elder statesmen, Westman was a strong, reliable father figure, a role model for the younger contestants. He conducted himself with dignity and honor, showing respect and compassion for others. Just playing the game the right right way. And the guy looked pretty damn good in a beard. Which reminds us of someone from Saved by the Bell. No, not Mr. Belding. But Mr. Derek Morris, as played by the terrific John Sanderford. Here he is, like Westman in a salt and pepper beard, in his standout Saved by the Bell moment, educating Zack on the dangers of drunk driving, doling out equal parts wisdom and love. We’re just going to stand back for a moment and let Sanderford’s work speak for itself.
Do they give belated Emmy’s for “Guest Actor on a Saturday Morning Sitcom?” Because they should. For this.
Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: A Heroes Welcome
We’re going to cheat a little tonight. Our search term for this post is “tom westman heroes,” but, as much as we absolutely adore Lt. Tom Westman, we’ve already welcome him twice to this daily feature. And, more importantly, there’s bigger Survivor matters at hand right now. So we’re going to use that search term as an excuse to bring you this, the first official Boston Rob/Russell promo for Redemption Island:
Vodpod videos no longer available.“I’m going to need a bigger torch” = AMAZING. Bring it, Probst!
Can. Not. Wait.
(Also, quick thought: Are Russell and Boston Rob really Jacob and the Man in Black? Think about it)
Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: Oedipal Complex
We expect to often see search terms like “justin bieber” and “miranda cosgrove,” and to a lesser, but more encouraging, extent “rashida jones” and “tom westman,” but it surprised us how often one of our top results has been “nasim pedrad,” the talented and pretty comedian now in her sophomore season on SNL. Not that we think that she doesn’t warrant that kind of attention, but it’s intriguing that web surfers have taken a particular interest in Pedrad, considering that SNL has no shortage of attractive and funny female cast members (Kristen Wiig, Abby Elliott, Vanessa Bayer, Jenny Slate until this season). Then again, it’s not terribly shocking, as Pedrad has continued to impress us with her diversity and poise, deftly portraying women like Kim Kardashian, Azam Farahi (aka Mrs. Ahmadinejad) and Cristiane Amanpour, as well as performing Lil Blaster in the Underground Records commercials.
Pedrad has also fallen into the unfortunate pattern of playing hyperactive, loquacious, often male, teenagers, which has been the only knock against her so far. However, despite that, our favorite performance from Pedrad was as wise beyond her years teenager Bedilia, a confident young lady who exhibits just a little too much appreciation for her parents.
Vodpod videos no longer available.See? She more than holds her own against Alec Baldwin there. If Pedrad can excise those other, more annoying, less successful characters then we see no reason why she won’t be one of our most popular search terms for years to come.
Be Careful What You Wish For: Boston Rob and Russell to Return for ‘Survivor: Redemption Island’; AKA Our Brain Just Exploded
When Survivor: Nicaragua began we were unsure if it would be able to capture our attention, lacking the unbelievable drama of the previous season’s Heroes vs. Villains edition, and, more specifically, devoid of the Boston Rob-Russell Hantz showdown that defined that season and should have, at the very least, earned it an Emmy nomination. To our surprise, we were hooked on Nicaragua even though it didn’t offer those familiar personalities (or even offer any truly engaging new personalities, save for Jimmy Johnson (who, to be fair, was not really a new personality)). But when we talk about Nicaragua, then and now, it succeeded despite having anything that approximated the Rob-Russell Clash of the Titans. And when we talk about anything approximating the Rob-Russell Clash of the Titans, what we really mean is specifically another Rob and Russell battle.
Well, hold onto your buffs, because it’s happening again.
Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: Etymology
There were no new relevant search terms today, but instead of just giving you another Tom Westman or Rashida Jones clip (which we’ll do plenty of, trust us) we’re going to do something a little different. Some of you out there have been using the search term “jumped the snark,” (listen, guys, the site is just jumpedthesnark.com, no tricks. You don’t need to work that hard to find us), so we’ll reciprocate with something based on that. However, we’re not going to self-promote and just link to one of our old posts (or, god forbid, show you our face), but, alternatively, we’re going to offer a little TV history lesson. In case you didn’t know, the name “Jumped the Snark” is derived from the term “jumped the shark” which is colloquially used to describe a TV show that has moved its plot in an unrealistic, absurd or hackneyed direction, often with the introduction of a new character or some sort of stunt episode, signaling that the show’s best days are behind it. “Jumped the shark,” in turn, is derived from a Season 5 episode of Happy Days in which Fonzie literally jumps a shark. But let’s hear about the origins of the term from the writer of the episode in question, Jeff Breederman:
Fascinating stuff.
And, for good measure, here’s the Fonz:
Quiz on Monday.
Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: The Old Bull
No change in terms from yesterday, as we guess people are snowed in from the Internet. So, as we’ll no doubt do from time to time, we’re going to revisit “tom westman.”
While we were in Survivor withdrawal we came across a collection of all-time favorite challenges as decided by Survivor Challenges Producer John Kirhoffer. It was, of course, no surprise to us to discover that top five included a challenge from Palau, the tenth season of the game, and the one absolutely dominated by Tom Westman. In this Immunity Challenge from #pisode 4, “Sumo at Sea,” Westman proves what a force he is, taking on and defeating the younger Bobby Jon. In his commentary Kirhoffer recognizes Tom’s legendary status, calling him a “true American hero.” If you’ve been reading this blog and have yet to comprehend the greatness of Tom Westman, watch this video and you’ll understand.
Vodpod videos no longer available.It was also fascinating to learn that these kinds of challenges are always a best of three. Which means that Tom actually had to vanquish Bobby Jon four times. No sweat.
Filed under Gratuitous Search Term Bait, Mancrush, Tribal Council
Jumped The Snark 