Following Troyzan’s exit on last week’s Survivor: ONE WORLD!the vibe was tense back at the former Big Mike’s Co-Ed Dorm, with Kim spooked by Troyzan’s last words to Kat: DO IT. It’s haunted all of our memories since:
But what did he mean??? What secret deal did Kat and Troyzan have? What did those magic words express? Were those the same words that Bill Murray uttered to Scarlett Johansson at the end of Lost in Translation?Were they trigger words intended to set Kat off into a hypnotic state? Well, no, none of those things. He was just rattling the cage. But he did a good job of it. Enough to make Kim, queen of Survivor but always a bridal shop owner and never a bride, nervous about Kat’s continued presence in the game.
Quick look back at last week’s Survivor: ONE WORLD! before the new episode airs in a few hours.
First, let’s get right to it, this week’s Who Wore It Best?:
Lorenzo Llamas or Troyzan???
You decide!
It’s right into the reward challenge, where this week’s reward is, yet again, a trip to a remote tropical island complete with an island meal. So, once again, pretty much the status quo. However, this time Kat gets pissed that always a bridal shop owner never a bride Kim wins the challenge and goes back on her word, taking Chelsea instead of Kat to the island feast. Not fair, Kim! Kat never gets to eat!
We joke a lot on this blog about people ripping us off – Stephen Colbert, Entertainment Weekly, Paul F. Tompkins (which resulted in a bitter Twitter feud) – but when were never as wounded as we were when we saw a new Vulture post presenting their “Map of the Comedy Zeitgeist.” Why did we find this so alarming, so soul crushing? Well, because it’s essentially an updated (and much, much prettier) version of our Judd Apatow Chart, which we used to launch this blog those three years ago. Sure, the idea that there are these overlapping connections in the comedy world, most of which are tethered to the likes of Apatow, Ben Stiller, Will Ferrell, and Paul Rudd, has been oft-explored for several years now. But never before has there been a graphic representation that feels so close to ours, so similar (and yet so much more visually appealing). Thus, we will not rest until we receive the credit we are due. In protest we will continue to read, appreciate and occasionally steal from Vulture.
Are we being paranoid? Hyperbolizing? Take a look and you decide.
Earlier this month we saw the release of the eighth installment in the American Pie franchise, American Reunion, and Eugene Levy holds the noble distinction of being the only actor to appear in the four theatrical films and also in the four straight-to-DVD movies. Thirteen years into his lifetime contract as “Jim’s Dad,” we thought it was time to pit all the Jim’s Dads together in a definitive tournament to decide which is the greatest Eugene Levy as Jim’s Dad in an American Pie movie of all time. No surprise, Jim’s Dad in the original Pie is the number one seed, but, just like we’ve seen in the NHL playoffs, anything can happen and nothing can be taken for granted.
Take a look at the opening round and cast your vote now.
And let’s celebrate with the greatest pretzel-related moment in television history (with all due respect to Seinfeld):
*Editor’s note: when we went off to Jew camp the summer before 9th grade we recorded onto cassette tape the audio from one episode of Seinfeld and one from The Simpsons, the latter being the episode above. Listening to it over and over again on our Walkman got us through those four long weeks and we are forever in its debt.
Another episode of Survivor: ONE WORLD!is coming up oh-so shortly, so let’s quickly take a look back at last week.
Troyzan is down, but he’s not out. And more than that, he’s really loud and annoying about it, with Jay’s departure a clear indication that he’s staring down the barrel of Kim’s gun (and with Kim being a bridal shop owner, we can only assume it’s a very nice, well-fitting, lacy revolver). Does Troyzan see the writing on the wall and attempt to quietly turn the superfluous members of Kim’s army against their lady-master? Nope, he’s just really cranky and obnoxious, totally offended that they dare turn against Troyzan, and pretty much warns everyone that they will live to regret this, and that he will hunt down and murder them and their families, Keyser Soze style. He doesn’t say this per se, but he definitely gives that impression. Hey, it’s Troy’s island, and he doesn’t let anyone forget it.
We’re a little slow getting to this because we were out-of-town, but during our hiatus we couldn’t help but notice the title of an Entertainment Weekly Survivor:ONE WORLD! recap that was curiously similar to one of our own. Take a look.
Notice that our recap went up at the end of April, analyzing the second episode of the season, whereas the EW headline appeared just a couple of weeks ago, covering one of the episodes that we missed. Now, we’re big fans of Dalton Ross and his recaps – in fact, we might even say that he’s an inspiration – but you can’t argue with the facts here. Not only did they use a very similar title, they utilized “boobs” double meaning, as both a literal reference to cleavage and as a playful description of the questionable decisions made by the tribe members. It’s pretty clear-cut.
First off, we apologize for the two-week hiatus. We took, what we consider to be, a well-deserved holiday, and are just now getting back into the swing of things. However, while we were gone Survivor: ONE WORLD! just kept going, including a shake-up at Big Mike’s Co-Ed Dorm that displaced its namesake. With the Salami and Manano-hope tribes merging earlier than anyone could have or should have expected, the game, as Tarzan would say (and does repeatedly), is afoot, and head into this lastest episode with always-a-bridal-shop-owner-never-a-bride Kim at a crossroads: does she stick with her alliance of four with Chelsea, Troyzan and Jayzan, or maintain her gender ties with the original Salami tribe. She straddled both sides for a couple Tribal Councils, convincing Jay and Troyzan to vote out the biggest of the Mikes, but now she must pick her side and reveal her true colors.
For Tarzan it’s all just fun and games, but for the rest of the players this is real.
Last Friday was Jumped the Snark’s THIRD(!) birthday, and we celebrated in style, with a night out at our most favorite restaurant.
When we stirred late Saturday morning (okay, fine, early Saturday afternoon), after clearing the cobwebs from our head, and wiping the Cool Ranch Doritos crumbs off our face, we tried to remember what happened the night before. But after the hazy memories of chicken finger baskets and teriyaki flavor bowls and mudslides and oreo brownie sundaes and Killian’s Red slowly came into focus, we thought about the last three years of this blog, and how grateful we feel that we’ve been able to provide you, the reader at home, with our dumb posts and unnecessary commentary and our eerie fixation with TGIF. But you’ve stood by us, and we thank you (and, yes, we’re talking to one person, which is essentially our readership).
And as we typically like to do on any landmark day here at Jumped the Snark, let’s take a moment and look back at the past three years, and reveal our #1 post of all-time, with 8,798 views:
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It’s our home page! Yay!
Alright, fine, that’s not very exciting. In fact, it’s devoid of any excitement of all. But the important thing is that 8,798 times, whether by accident or by design (and, let’s be honest, mostly by accident), world-wide web surfers landed on this site, for two seconds or for two hours. Did they stay on long enough to read any posts? Will anyone read this post? Probably not? But if we can waste someone’s time for just a few seconds, and maybe provide some genuine frustration or disappointment, well, then it’s all been worth it.
Jumped The Snark 