Category Archives: Count Bleh

Square peg in a round hole.

‘Survivor: One World:’ Player-By-Player Odds AND Celebrity Look-Alikes!

It’s finally here, folks!  Our much ballyhooed, frequently teased, oft-delayed player-by-player odds for Survivor: ONE WORLD!   And this time we’re sweetening the deal by including celebrity look-alikes.  Yes, these predictions are coming five episodes late, but that just gives us better insight and helps us provide you with more accurate, educated odds.  So let’s get to it, A-B-C style.

Alicia: If not for Colton, you’d probably take the crown as The Worst.  As it is though, the two worst seem to have allied with each other and found common ground in being The Worst.  She fashions herself as a villain, and a tough bitch, but she’s yet to truly display the physical or social skills that will get her to the end (she has, however, displayed far too much of her chest, sporting a variety of wildly ill fitting tops).  If she sticks with Colton, Team The Worst could actually, grossly, go far, that is if they don’t kill each other first.  Odds of winning: 30-1

  Read on for the rest!

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Filed under Count Bleh, Look-Alikes, Tribal Council

The Origin of a Laugh

It occurred to us recently, as we watched this classic scene from the Money Pit, that we may have very well learned our deep, guttural laugh from Tom Hanks himself.  Sure, the nature vs. nuture debate remains, but as this movie was a touchstone of our childhood, during our most formative years, it’s not a stretch to suggest we picked up our miggle (man giggle) from the former Kip Wilson.

(find the guffaw at the 2:10 mark, but watch the entire clip, unless you hate fun)

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Filed under Buffy & Hildegarde, Count Bleh, Good Humor

Anderson Cooper is Just Like Us!

He miggles!

Normally  the purveyor of gravitas, presenting a stoic, dignified disposition in the face of all that is immoral and unethical (and least when he’s not on Regis & Kelly), Anderson Cooper proved that he’s not above a good poop joke.  Well, he’s not above breaking into uncontrollable laughter at a terrible poop joke.

Via Splitsider & the entire Internet

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Filed under Count Bleh, It's gross., Mancrush

Comedy Central & Michael Ian Black Team Up to Celebrate Us All Week!

Well, it came has huge surprise to us, but Comedy Central has devoted a whole week to little ol’ us, and, even better, “Snark Week” is being hosted by our all-time favorite Michael Ian Black.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Honestly, we had no idea that they had this in the works, but we could not be more flattered, especially with Black (Magic to his friends) as the master of ceremonies.  Truly, an enormous, humbling honor.

Let’s say we all return the favor and tune in for Black’s Comedy Central special “Very Famous” this Saturday at 11pm (10pm Central).   It’s the least we can do.

 

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Filed under Count Bleh, Good Humor, Mancrush, The State

The Intersection of Things We Love and Things We Don’t: Kelly & the Bieb

Last week Justin Bieber, who has generally stayed on our good side (mostly by virtue of his chivalry), went ahead and tried to change that by wearing a Kelly Kapowski t-shirt, even though a) Saved by the Bell came and went before he was even born, b) she is OURS, and he should know that and thus he should STAY AWAY, and c) he’s Canadian.

Tiffani Amber Thiessen

Bieber, you can have Selena Gomez, or Miranda Cosgrove, or Vanessa Hudgens, or Taylor Momsen, or any of these girls who can’t rent a car.  But anyone born pre-Top Gun is mine.  You got that?  Stay the FUCK away!

But we’re not worried.  Tiffani can fight her own battles.  Here’s how she responded:

Tiffani Amber ThiessenBoom.  Roasted.

(Marry me?)

via Vulture

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Filed under Count Bleh, Intersection of the venn diagram of things that I love, Yasmine Bleeth

The Intersection of the Venn Diagram of Things That We Love and Our Dad Loves

Well, now Jimmy Fallon has done it all.  His greatest feat was not a dead-on parody of the Real Housewives, or Late Night‘s own version of Rockapella, or even his engineering of the California Dreams reunion.  Nope.  Fallon’s biggest coup to date is presenting a musical performance that would fascinate both us and our dad.  And with this performance of “Party in the USA,” with Fallon in the guise of Neil Young and joined by Young’s sometimes bandmates David Crosby and Graham Nash, Jimmy accomplishes just that.  Crobsy, (Stills,) Nash, & Young is perhaps our dad’s favorite musical group of all time; certainly Crosby is the singer whose mustache our father would most try to emulate if he were a folk rock luminary.  And, as for us, we never tire of Fallon’s remarkable, often stunning, impressions.  Not when he was on SNL, and not now.  At this point Jimmy probably sounds more like Neil Young than Neil Young does.  So, Late Night, thank you for brining a father and son together (in front of a computer screen, not saying a word to one another).

Vodpod videos no longer available.

 

And, in case you were curious, here’s an abridged version of said venn diagram.


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Filed under Count Bleh, Good Humor, Intersection of the venn diagram of things that I love, Talkies

Yep, They Did It Again (Again)

Last fall the brilliant ladies at Broad City blew our minds with “Do the Right Thing,” their Spike Lee tribute first season finale.  Those beautiful four and a half minutes set the bar pretty much impossibly high. But, not surprisingly, stars Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson found a way to rise to the occasion, delivering a pitch perfect love letter to New York City, complete with a couple delicious cameos from some familiar faces (not to mention a cameo from a delicious treat).  It’s truly poetry, and comedy, in motion.

We don’t know how they’ll top this, but we’re certain that they will.

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Filed under Best Show You're Not Watching, Brilliance, Count Bleh, Good Humor, Local Flavor, Virulent

How Much to Never See the Black Eyed Peas Again?

How about this?  We’ll give you $50 and Taboo vanishes forever?  $30 and will.i.am only appears on one episode of the next American Idol?  Okay, $25 and ap.le.de.ap disappears for a good six months.  Final offer.

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Filed under All the sudden I could really go for a Coke, Count Bleh, Interweb, It's gross.

Parting Shot: It’s Me in a Box!

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Returns must be made within 30 days. A 10% restocking applies to all returns.

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Filed under Count Bleh, Parting Shot

Happy 2nd Birthday to Us!

It feels like it was just twenty-four short months ago that we launched this blog, but it’s actually been two full years.  Can you believe it?  When we started this thing, selling our comic book collection, maxing out our credit cards, and practically begging for help from all our friends at the convenience store, we were just hoping to break even.  Post a few Office commentaries, make our buddies laugh, maybe get a few dozen page views and call it a day.  Little did we know that years later we’d still be here, attracting 3,000 readers a day*.  We’ve come a long way, baby.

So, in honor of our 2nd birthday, we thought we’d look back at some of our favorite Jumped the Snark banners, a little walk down JtS memory lane.

Our 100th post:

Our first Christmas:

See more from the Jumped the Snark photo album…

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Filed under Count Bleh, Judd Apatow, Lady Holiday, We'll Get It In Post