Tag Archives: Survivor

We Solve the Mystery of ‘Survivor’ Phillip’s Lion Tattoo

A few weeks ago we posited that the tattoo on Former Federal Agent (?) Phillip’s right shoulder looks more like a pimp than a lion.  But even then we knew there was a better comparison, but we just couldn’t think of it.  It was on the tip of our tongue, at the very precipice of our cerebral cortex, but we should couldn’t find it.  Until now.

It’s Beverly Hills hairstylist and Jackée Harry’s ex-husband to Elgin Charles!  DUH!

See for yourself:

Former Federal Agent Phillip Lion Tattoo

Riiiiight?

Jackée, what do you think?

Well, agree to disagree.

 

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Filed under Tribal Council, What? Too fabulous?, You Decide

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’: S’more Crispy Rice Treats (Director’s Cut)

Phillip Survivor Redemption IslandBefore we start this Survivor: Redemption Island recap CBS would like us to visit www.cbs.com/jeffprobst.  Normally we’d demur that kind of blatant and heavy-handed promotion, but we love Probst too much to complain in this particular instance.  So go, now, and then come right back here.

Back?  Okay, good!  You got back just in time to listen to Stephanie list every food item ever, which, as any survival expert will tell you, is the best way to stave off the hunger of being by yourself in a sweaty jungle for two weeks.  Right, Matt?  Isn’t she helping?  Isn’t Stephanie detailing every flavor of Pop Tart just melting your hunger away?  But Matt totally wins us over by quoting The Sandlot, telling Stephanie “You’re killing me, Smalls.”  GREAT REFERENCE.  You know what, Matt, you’re okay by us.  Just don’t start talking about how God is on your side again and how your faith will help you succeed in this reality TV competition.  Oh, no, there you go.  Nevermind.  That didn’t last long.

More! Sarita steps up, David deliberates and Phillip doesn’t get his fill…

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, George Lucas Doesn't Need More Money, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’: The Sweet Taste of Crabs (Director’s Cut)

So this week we entered the post-Russell Hantz era.  And for those of you who complained that Russell was a sneaky, nefarious player who only made it to the finals because he had no chance to win, and that his dominance was a product of editing, and that he was a bore and boorish, well, do you miss him now?  Because, say what you want about the guy, there’s no denying that he made things interesting.  Which is perhaps something you can’t say about last night’s Survivor

Keep reading: Phillips say the darndest things. Plus: Tetris! Rubix Cubes! A giant maze!

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, Growing Pains, It's gross., Tribal Council

Last Week on ‘Top Chef: All-Stars’: Racist, Liar, Kitchen on Fire!

Two weeks ago on Top Chef they pulled the old bait and switch and you get a car and you get a car and you get a car and you’re all going to the Bahamas!  So last week it was off to the tropical islands to get cookin’.

But before they can get to the Quickfire, everyone is just blown away by Richard’s beard.

More: To what lengths will Antonia go to win? Sabotage?

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, The Sixth Taste, The Worst, Top Scallop

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’ : The Dominoes Fall (Director’s Cut)

Imagine waking up in a beautiful seaside location, the crashing waves slowly lulling you out of your slumber, the faraway echoes of exotic birds gently coaxing you out of dreamland, a warm, refreshing breeze serving as nature’s alarm clock.  And then imagine waking up after nine hungry days in a hot, humid, bug-infested jungle and the first thing you see is Phillip’s nasty, tattered, ill-fitting, sun-faded red underwear.  Because that’s exactly the waking nightmare for the members of the Ometepe tribe as we begin this week’s Survivor: Redemption Island.  Any momentum they had after defeating Zapatera last week is immediately erased by the actual sight of Phillip’s junk escaping from his delicates, forcing the Survivor editing team to employ their best blurring skills.  But, to Phillip’s credit, he seems entirely comfortable just flapping in the wind.  And completely oblivious.  But since we’re watching this from the safety of our couch (and, thankfully, with the strategically placed blurs intact) we’re not complaining, because, besides Russell, Phillip is the most entertaining player on the show.

Simply put, it’s put up or shut up time for Russell.

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Filed under Be careful what you wish for, Century 21 Reality, It's gross., Tribal Council

Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: Really Gratuitious Search Term Bait of the Day

This (semi) daily feature is explicitly designed to give the people what they want, to basically sell-out to catch a few new readers.  But today’s post goes beyond our usual pandering, basically equating this blog to your typical trashy, exploitative rag.  But, hey, turns out we’re not above that (or this).

Nearly all of today’s search terms referenced Survivor: Redemption Island.  But instead of giving you another Phillip-centric post (which you will get later), we’re going to go with another term.  Quite simply: “survivor kristina boobs.”  Let’s be honest, this is pretty much the reason the Internet exists.

Survivor Redemption Island

You’re welcome, America.

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Filed under Gratuitous Search Term Bait, Tribal Council, Yasmine Bleeth

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’: Russell’s Razor (Director’s Cut)

Over the last couple years we’ve become ardent devotees to the concept of “Occam’s Razor,” the tenet that the “simplest explanation is most likely the correct one.”  There’s a similar paradigm that works itself into any season of Survivor, but focuses less on the simplest explanation and more on the theory that players will make their moves based on the belief that the other competitors will make the correct, smartest decisions.  Unfortunately, as the show as often proved, playing that way does not always lead to the best results.  And we saw an example of this again last night.

But more on that later.  First, (as teased last week) Matt arrives on Redemption Island and Francesca is shocked (shocked!) it wasn’t Phillip who was voted out by the Ometepe tribe earlier in the night.  He had no allies, posed no threat, and basically begged for mercy, so why would Ometepe (and its leader, Boston Rob) want to keep him around?  Oh, yeah, for those very reasons.  Phillip may be a loose cannon, intolerable, and borderline bipolar, but right now, as Rob says, he’s a loyal solider.  Plus, he’s endlessly entertaining.  Back at Ometepe camp Rob breaks down the alliance, explicitly telling Phil that he’s the fifth person on a five-person alliance and Phil is basically responds “Cool!  Just happy to be here!  Thanks, Rob!”  And then they seal Phil’s blind allegiance with a first bump, which in the three federal agencies that Phil used to serve in is tantamount to swearing on one’s parents’ graves.

More: Our first Inferno-The Furnace-The Gauntlet-The Meatgrinder Duel. Followed by puss-filled rashes, water torture, dumb strategy and dumb luck. The Probst man cometh, does the bell finally ring for Russell?

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Huh?, It's gross., Top Scallop, Tribal Council

Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: You Look Wonderful Tonight

In just two short weeks Survivor competitor Phillip has already become a legend on this blog, taking his spot in the Jumped the Snark Hall of Fame with Tom Westman, Rashida Jones, Jason Sudeikis, Anderson Cooper, Guy Fieri, Jimmy Fallon and Tom Hanks.  So it’s no surprise that one of our top search terms today was “survivor phillip.”

We talked about Phillip at length in last week’s Survivor recap and posted the clip of what will probably be his signature Survivor moment – hunting a crab with a spear clad only in his cherry red skivvies – but here’s a very quick moment of Phillip at his creepy, confident best (and a gratuitous cleavage shot) from later in that show.  We weren’t able to include it the first time around, but we’re pleased to bring it to you now.  Thanks for the second chance, everyone!  Redemption all around.



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Filed under Count Bleh, Gratuitous Search Term Bait, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’: I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me (Director’s Cut)

We started this week’s episode of Survivor: Redemption Island with our first glimpse of, well, Redemption Island.  After being voted at the first Tribal Council, Francesca arrived at her new home and quickly found a signpost describing life on the island, “Welcome to Redemption Island: No Smoking, No Yelling, No Swearing; Daily Menu: Breakfast – Rice; Lunch – Rice, Dinner – Rice.”  Francesca can’t find a flint, so she’s worried about freezing during night, but really she’s just happy to be away from Former Federal Agent (?) Phillip.

Read on: Phillip remains an emotional, delusion wreck, but we get a glimpse of his primal side. Plus: Ralph defines dumb luck, carnival games return, and Boston Rob contemplates the chess board. Also, crabs!

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Good Humor, The Worst, Tribal Council

Ladies and Gentlemen, Your Next Movie Star (And He’s Just Like Us)

As if Jason Sudeikis needed to endear himself to us even more, he went on Conan last night that and showed that he’s into the exact same things we are: beer and wings.

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After the jump we detail our very personal experiences with Natty Light and Buffalo Wild Wings

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Filed under Count Bleh, Intersection of the venn diagram of things that I love, Local Flavor, Mancrush, Talkies, The Sixth Taste