Imagine waking up in a beautiful seaside location, the crashing waves slowly lulling you out of your slumber, the faraway echoes of exotic birds gently coaxing you out of dreamland, a warm, refreshing breeze serving as nature’s alarm clock. And then imagine waking up after nine hungry days in a hot, humid, bug-infested jungle and the first thing you see is Phillip’s nasty, tattered, ill-fitting, sun-faded red underwear. Because that’s exactly the waking nightmare for the members of the Ometepe tribe as we begin this week’s Survivor: Redemption Island. Any momentum they had after defeating Zapatera last week is immediately erased by the actual sight of Phillip’s junk escaping from his delicates, forcing the Survivor editing team to employ their best blurring skills. But, to Phillip’s credit, he seems entirely comfortable just flapping in the wind. And completely oblivious. But since we’re watching this from the safety of our couch (and, thankfully, with the strategically placed blurs intact) we’re not complaining, because, besides Russell, Phillip is the most entertaining player on the show.
Category Archives: Be careful what you wish for
‘SNL Backstage’: More Like ‘SNL Backstab’
There’s literally nothing we like more than Saturday Night Live retrospectives. Okay, well, maybe we like pizza, beer, the Muppets, 1986 Mets retrospectives and maps more. But really that’s about it. And it’s close. Which is why we were so extremely disappointed in last week’s “new” two-hour prime-time special SNL Backstage. We were eager for the broadcast all week, making sure to set our DVRs before heading out to Philadelphia for the weekend. We were far more excited about it than any regular episode of SNL all season, save for Jim Carrey’s return. And from those great expectations came a great letdown.
The show was billed as, or so it seemed to us, a look behind the scenes at SNL, which we thought meant going beyond the origin of sketches and past cast changes and instead delving further into the process of the show, bringing us stories and details not found in the previous behind the scenes specials (SNL in the 80s: Lost and Found, SNL in the 90s: Pop Culture Nation, SNL in the 00s: Time and Again). Indeed, judging from the promo, we were going to be treated to some new never heard before insights and, most intriguing to us, a glimpse at how they pull up a live show with so many set and costume changes. What we thought we’d be getting was a truly illuminating look under the hood of SNL, an expose on all its moving parts.
Vodpod videos no longer available.But, basically, we were lied to.
More on the betrayal, and the only three minutes of truly new and interesting material.
‘Survivor: Redemption Island’ Premiere: Amateur Hour (Director’s Cut)
This season we’ll be taking our ‘Survivor’ recapping talents to Gawker TV. However, we’re going to also offer expanded, “Director’s Cut” recaps on this blog. So here we go. Day One.
The challenge for Survivor: Redemption Island is going to be keeping us interested in anyone not named Boston Rob or Russell Hantz. Our fear going into the premiere was that the presence of these veterans would overshadow the new Survivors. However, for one episode at least, we got just enough Boston Rob and Russell while also introducing some intriguing new cast members. We’re not entirely convinced that there are any personalities that can match up to the two masterminds, but judging from an explosive, unbelievable, train wreck of a first Tribal Council, we’re in for a season of crackpots and fireworks.
But, before we get there: helicopters! And Probst just enjoying the feel of the cool Nicaragua air hitting his face.
TONIGHT: Russell vs. Boston Rob Round 2 (Oh, and the Premiere of ‘Survivor: Redemption Island’)
February 16th is finally here and tonight is closing in fast. Which means that, after literally weeks of anticipation, Survivor: Redemption Island premieres this evening. But, more importantly, that means the epic, long-awaited, dream come true, clash of the titans showdown between Russell Hantz and Boston Rob is nearly upon us.
When their return was announced a few weeks back we quickly voiced our initial skepticism. And in the intervening time our feelings haven’t really changed. We’re still extremely hesitant about this twist, bringing Rob back for his fourth go ’round and Russell for his third attempt in four seasons, because their personal battle genuinely threatens to be bigger than the game, and we’re nervous about what it means for future seasons. The initial returns could be astronomical, but we could be trading long-term satisfaction for immediate gratification.
But it’s hard to watch this and not get excited. We’re excited.
More: Early predictions that may surprise you. And Jeff Probst teases the future!
Was That Special? Dana Carvey Returns to ‘SNL’ And Our Childhood Officially Ends
We’re going to warn you right off the bat that this is probably going to be the most subjective SNL recap we’ve yet written. So if you like your SNL analysis free of emotional attachment, well, then you should look somewhere else (we’re sure the web might offer one, maybe two, other options), because, unfortunately, as we watched this last SNL, hosted by legendary cast member Dana Carvey, our reaction was intrinsically bound up in how we’ve watched this show since childhood, and how the this particular episode made us reexamine and reassess our feelings about the show, Dana Carvey and his SNL era. So, at the extreme risk of being self-indulgent, here we go.
Read on: We mourn our youth and ask the question: who is Dana Carvey?
Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: The Ice Queen
One of our consistently most popular posts is our review of January Jones’ turn as host of SNL from November of 2009, titled January Jones Was the Worst Host Ever on the Worst Episode of ‘SNL’ Ever, so it’s not surprising that among today’s top search terms is “january jones worst host.” But we’re not going to talk about how terrible she was that night (we’ve spent enough time on that), nor are we going to discuss how horrible we thought she was on Mad Men. No, today we’re going to talk about an upcoming January Jones project that we fear might be just as bad.
Earlier this week the first images from X-Men: First Class surfaced, featuring January Jones as the White Queen Emma Frost, and it doesn’t look promising. To Jones’ credit, the whole photo is panic-inducing, not just her part of it (although the look on her face doesn’t help).
To be fair, director Matthew Vaughn has shot back asserting that this is an unofficial photo that does not reflect the look of the film. Which is somewhat reassuring. Still, that doesn’t make us comfortable with the idea of Jones as Frost, and nor does it assuage our concern that once again an X-Men movie has chosen to neglect the many proven storylines in favor of a hodgepodge of plot points and characters from the comics combined with an original narrative. It just seems silly to disregard so many revered and beloved stories. And by setting this film in the 60s, and including characters who appear in the other films or are related to characters in the other films, it totally confuses the cinematic timeline. We won’t get into the geeky specifics here, but this is why bringing a comic book to the screen can be so complicated. In the comic book world super heroes really don’t age, so it’s no big deal for someone to look the same in 1965 as they do in 2005. But it becomes much trickier with movies, and we think setting this film decades before the previous X-Men films invites too many contradictions. But we’ll just have to wait until June to find out.
And come back here then to read our review, “January Jones Was the Worst Actress in the Worst X-Men Film Ever.”
Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: The Cats Pajamas
We never thought that we’d be the blog that would you’d find by using the search term “cats dressed up,” but, hey, strange things happen.
So, no tricks today, we’re just going to give the masses what they want. Which is cats dressed like humans. You asked for it. You got it.
Cats in pajamas!
Cat on his way to the office!
Highway patrol cat!
Fancy party cat!
And, of course, not creepy at all, cats being served dinner by a rabbit!
See you in your dreams!
Even the Restaurants Made Famous by Guy Fieri Resent Guy Fieri
In the latest Guy Fieri news, it seems that some of the restaurateurs featured on Fieri’s signature Food Network program, Diners, Drives & Dives, have found that life ain’t so grand after the “love, peace and taco grease” man rolls through town. Sure, according to this NY Times article, the complaint is that the restaurants have now become too popular, with regular patrons now being edged out by tourists and “Triple D” enthusiasts, which is a problem all restaurants wish they had. Still, the moral of the story is this: BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR IF WHAT YOU WISH FOR IS GUY FIERI. Also, THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF GUY FIERI.
The most disturbing revelation in the article, and indeed a legitimate complaint, is that Fieri often concocts his own artery blocking, gut busting, killer combo dishes in these kitchens, giving the impression that these are normal menu items. This was apparently the case at Fairfield, Connecticut’s Super Duper Weenie, where the Frankenstein, “a three-hot-dog, multirelish, cheese-and-condiment monster,” was invented by Fieri for the cameras. Now customers from all across the country, let’s call them “Fieri-heads,” come in requesting the item, only to be dissuaded from the heart attack-in waiting behemoth by the hot dog joint’s owner. There’s nothing worse than being lied to through food. Lesson learned: LOOSE FIERIS SINK SHIPS.
We actually had the good fortune to stop at Super Duper Weenie last spring. In fact, we had been trying to make pilgrimage for many years, well before the tiny restaurant was featured on the show, but found the place closed in our previous attempt. However, all it took to entice us was a billboard along I-95 (and an awesome name). We didn’t need Fieri to tell us to stop on our way to Boston and order a hot dog that doesn’t exist. No, our stomach is our compass. And when we finally made it to Super Duper Weenie, what did we encounter upon our arrival? A long line and the mark of Fieri.
So the question now becomes: is this the new scarlet letter for restaurants?
And it’d be dumb not to post this again:
MMMMMMmmmmmmm
NY Times via Grub Street
Be Careful What You Don’t Wish For: Richard Hatch & Meatloaf on ‘Celebrity Apprentice’; AKA Our Brain is Fully Intact
Okay, well, this doesn’t even approximate the level of Boston Rob vs. Russell, but it’s intriguing nonetheless, as the new season of Celebrity Apprentice will pit the original Survivor winner against one of our guiltiest pleasures (they’ll also be competing against La Toya Jackson, Jose Canseco, Mark McGrath, David Cassidy, Dionne Warwick and (gulp) Gary Busey, among others). Truth be told, we didn’t get into Survivor until the second season (The Australian Outback), so we have no particular allegiance to Hatch (in fact, we somewhat resent “the snake” because we think he gets too much credit for defining how the game is played; people would have figured out to lie and manipulate sooner or later), but the presence of Meatloaf might just be enough to get us to tune in (briefly). When Jumped the Snark was young we had an obsession with “I would do anything for love” (thanks, in large part, to the videos frequent play on VH1), and we soon played out both sides of Bat Out of Hell 2: Back Into Hell on our Walkman. In fact, we once cleared a basement at a friend’s birthday party by belting out a rendition of the tune (perhaps we shouldn’t have done the female parts too). But we loved that song, and we loved that album, and until we entered our prolonged Billy Joel phase in middle school Meatloaf was our favorite (along with Weird Al). And we still include”See Meatloaf live” on our list of things to do before we (or he) die.
Admit it. You love it.
Oh, and our prediction: Mark McGrath will NOT win.
Be Careful What You Wish For: Boston Rob and Russell to Return for ‘Survivor: Redemption Island’; AKA Our Brain Just Exploded
When Survivor: Nicaragua began we were unsure if it would be able to capture our attention, lacking the unbelievable drama of the previous season’s Heroes vs. Villains edition, and, more specifically, devoid of the Boston Rob-Russell Hantz showdown that defined that season and should have, at the very least, earned it an Emmy nomination. To our surprise, we were hooked on Nicaragua even though it didn’t offer those familiar personalities (or even offer any truly engaging new personalities, save for Jimmy Johnson (who, to be fair, was not really a new personality)). But when we talk about Nicaragua, then and now, it succeeded despite having anything that approximated the Rob-Russell Clash of the Titans. And when we talk about anything approximating the Rob-Russell Clash of the Titans, what we really mean is specifically another Rob and Russell battle.
Well, hold onto your buffs, because it’s happening again.
Jumped The Snark 