Daily Archives: 2011/01/20

Okay, Fine.

You win, Pizza Hut.

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Filed under Count Bleh

Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: The Ice Queen

One of our consistently most popular posts is our review of January Jones’ turn as host of SNL from November of 2009, titled January Jones Was the Worst Host Ever on the Worst Episode of ‘SNL’ Ever, so it’s not surprising that among today’s top search terms is “january jones worst host.”  But we’re not going to talk about how terrible she was that night (we’ve spent enough time on that), nor are we going to discuss how horrible we thought she was on Mad Men.  No, today we’re going to talk about an upcoming January Jones project that we fear might be just as bad.

Earlier this week the first images from X-Men: First Class surfaced, featuring January Jones as the White Queen Emma Frost, and it doesn’t look promising.  To Jones’ credit, the whole photo is panic-inducing, not just her part of it (although the look on her face doesn’t help).

To be fair, director Matthew Vaughn has shot back asserting that this is an unofficial photo that does not reflect the look of the film.  Which is somewhat reassuring.  Still, that doesn’t make us comfortable with the idea of Jones as Frost, and nor does it assuage our concern that once again an X-Men movie has chosen to neglect the many proven storylines in favor of a hodgepodge of plot points and characters from the comics combined with an original narrative.  It just seems silly to disregard so many revered and beloved stories.  And by setting this film in the 60s, and including characters who appear in the other films or are related to characters in the other films, it totally confuses the cinematic timeline.  We won’t get into the geeky specifics here, but this is why bringing a comic book to the screen can be so complicated.  In the comic book world super heroes really don’t age, so it’s no big deal for someone to look the same in 1965 as they do in 2005.  But it becomes much trickier with movies, and we think setting this film decades before the previous X-Men films invites too many contradictions.  But we’ll just have to wait until June to find out.

And come back here then to read our review, “January Jones Was the Worst Actress in the Worst X-Men Film Ever.”

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Filed under Be careful what you wish for, Geekery, Gratuitous Search Term Bait, The Big Screen, The Worst, Yasmine Bleeth

We Found Casey Wilson!

Earlier today we noted that Tony Danza has transitioned from reality TV star to web comedy personality.  And now we know what a sketch comedian does after being let go from SNL.  They turn to recurring roles on hackneyed cable sitcoms!  Because you can now find Casey Wilson on TV Land’s newest clearly targeted at older viewers show, Retired at 35.  Here she is as Amy, George Segal and Jessica Walter’s unappreciated, romantically challenged daughter:

Well, at least she’s finally getting laughs, even if they’re added in post.

Later we find out that her totally real boyfriend is totally gay because he likes to cook and wears pink.  We guess if the show is going to specifically try to appeal to older viewers they might as well use twenty-year old jokes.  Way to not even try, Retired at 35!

Seriously, in a post for another day, is this an obscene use of the laugh track?  Or is the device just so foreign to us now?

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Filed under Bad Humor, Saturday Night Live, We'll Get It In Post

Flashback: Another Look at Another Look at ‘Parks and Recreation’

With Parks and Recreation making its long, long-awaited return tonight, we thought it would be appropriate to take a look back at a post we wrote in September of 2009, just before the show returned for its sophomore season.  Right now, in January of 2011, Parks and Recreation is widely recognized as one of the best, if not the best, comedies on television (which is why it was so excruciating when the series was pushed until mid-season to make room for the abominable Outsourced), but just about 17 months ago when it was coming off a lackluster, somewhat disappointing first season the story was much different.  It’s developed into one of the most reliable, warmest, funniest shows on network TV or any other channel, and boasts perhaps the deepest ensemble cast, but back before its second season the jury was still out, and it was a show very much still finding its footing.  But Jumped the Snark went ahead and asserted the potential of the show, watching the first season and finding much room for improvement but also much room for greatness.  And we think its fair to say that both this blog and Parks and Recreation were vindicated.

In that post we outlined three areas where Parks and Rec most needed to progress to reach the quality of a show like The Office, its spiritual forefather (and not only has Parks and Rec equaled its progenitor, it’s now surpassed it.  The student has become the teacher).  Let’s take a look at those recommendations and how Parks and Rec took them into consideration.

See what we got right and they got wrong. Plus, our advice for Season 3!

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Filed under Analysis, Best Show You're Not Watching, Flashback!, Good Humor, Greendale Human, Lists, Must See TV, Mustachio'd

Fabio’s Not Too Pretty For Jail

Well, he’s not too pretty to get arrested at least, as Survivor winner Judson “Fabio” Birza was booked in Santa Monica yesterday for riding his skateboard in the street.  C’mon, pigs!  Let the dude have a little fun!  Oh, and he was apparently super high.  No surprise there.  Here’s Fabio looking distraught after the arrest:

Actually, he seemed totally cool with it.

Also, we regret already using the headline “For Whom the Bong Tolls” for our Survivor: Nicaragua finale post.  We should have known this day would come and have saved it as such.  Oh well.  Fabio has plenty of bail money left so we better start working on more drug-reference puns!

ATTICA!  ATTICA!

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Filed under Tribal Council

Second(!) Danza Moment of the Week: Danza for Hire

Normally we like to limit our Danza Moment of the Week posts to one per week (which is why we don’t call it the “Danza Moment of the Bi-Week”), but we thought it was prudent we got this one right out there (and maybe take next week off.  Jk!).

Well, apparently the logical next step after teaching Of Mice and Men to fifteen year-olds is to appear in a web video that discusses both horse and orangutan fucking, because that’s exactly where Tony Danza has gone after leaving Northeast High School.  Apparently the stress of teaching was too much, perhaps turning Tony from the earnest, affable idealist we knew and loved into a more cynical, jaded celeb, preferring to pal around with Michael Cera and Martin Starr than headline another school fundraiser.  Which isn’t to say that we’re complaining, or criticizing Danza, but between this new Funny or Die video and yesterday’s clips from Scott and Zander’s Crazy Night, it seems like he’s trying to reinvent himself as a viral video foil, poking fun at his image the way that James Van Der Beek and Rob Lowe have done in the last two weeks.

So here you are, Internet, your newest web comedy sensation, Tony Danza:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Sidenote:  It’s great to see Michael Cera and Martin Starr, stars of two of the greatest TV shows in the history of television, working together.  Did we just catch a glimpse into Superbad 2: College Party???

Sidenote 2: Do you think Danza’s recent return to the zeitgeist is wholly or just partially attributable to Jumped the Snark?  Something to think about.

via Splitsider

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Filed under Bob Loblaw, Discos and Dragons, Good Humor, Makes You Think, Virulent, Who's the Boss?