We have exorcised the demons. This house…is clear.
We really don’t know why people have been searching for “50% off first pair of bonobos jan 2011,” but evidently they have been, and we’re a little embarrassed that it’s brought them to this blog. But instead of dignifying bonobos any further, we’re going to offer up a Friday bonanza, three pants related sketches starring Michael Ian Black, who seems to have some sort of predisposition for slacks and sweats humor.
To start, “Pants,” perhaps the first great sketch from The State:Vodpod videos no longer available.
And two more pants-centric sketches from Michael and Michael Have Issues:Vodpod videos no longer available. Vodpod videos no longer available.
This reminds us, we really should get a pair of sweatpants with pockets. So useful.
Die Hard 2 (Die Harder) was pretty disappointing on all fronts, basically a Die Hard rip-off in the vein of the later Die Hard on a boat and Die Hard in a tunnel and Die Hard on a zeppelin copycats that would densely populate the 90s, as opposed to a worthy follow-up to the original. But most dismaying was the severely diminished presence of Mr. Reginald VelJohnson, who undoubtedly stole the show as Sgt. Al Powell in the first film. He was John McClane’s confidant, his best friend, his rock, and his savior. It’s no stretch to say that without Sgt. Powell there’s no way McClane ever gets out of Nakatomi Plaza. So it’s nothing short of a travesty that Reginald VelJ’s role in the sequel was limited to a desk-jockey cameo:
But in his two minutes on-screen VelJohnson shines, giving a Masters class on eating a Twinkie while talking on the phone. And this scene really breaks down what an exciting, tumultuous time the early 90s were. Fax machines! Insurance companies! The ol’ in-laws! Fax numbers! Pissing in pools! It truly is a snapshot of 1990.
WAKE UP AND SMELL THE 90s! It smells like VelJohnson!
(Completely Made-up Fun Fact: the role played by Samuel L. Jackson in Die Hard with a Vengeance was originally written for Reginald VelJohnson to reprise Sgt. Powell. Strange, but not true!)
One time Bobby Tisdale bought us a drink. He was super nice. He’s one of those people about whom you think to yourself “that guy is super nice.” So watch him on Late Night kicking the hell out of stuff, putting life and limb in jeopardy for our amusement.Vodpod videos no longer available.
Good thing Jimmy stood back. Wouldn’t want him getting injured like that time Kimbo Slice came by.
Thanks to the wonder of Netflix Instant Watch we’re now able to go back and relive all those years of SNL that we had only read about in Live From New York. As we had previously mentioned, one of the seasons we were most curious about was the 84-85 season, the year that featured a bunch of ringers named Billy Crystal, Martin Short, Harry Shearer and Christopher Guest. So as soon as we could we went right to season premiere, which began with a monologue from de facto lead cast member Crystal. We were struck by a number of aspects of the act: how young Crystal looks; the perfectly 80s sweater; the dark, depressing subway platform set. But what stayed with us most was this mildly racist bit about going to scary movies with African-Americans:
We’ve been meaning to upload this clip for a few weeks, but we were hoping to wait until we could procure better quality video. But we bring it to you now, without further hesitation, because last week’s SNL basically used the same exact joke in its “Globe Theatre” sketch:
Curiously, the sketch is not available on Hulu. Is a rights issue because they reworked a Black Eyed Peas song? Or maybe “Let’s all go the lobby” is not public domain. Or, perhaps. Mr. Crystal filed a plagiarism complaint.
Sadly, we’ll likely never know.
Either way, we’re a little concerned about how enthusiastic that one woman in the audience was when Crystal asked if anyone had “ever been to a scary film with a black audience” (it’s also kind of a weird question. The 80s weren’t the 60s, right?). Crazy times, man, crazy times.