Tag Archives: Nicaragua

2010/12/15 · 5:25 pm

‘Survivor Nicaragua’: Use Your Words

Allllllllllright, alright, the penultimate episode of Survivor: Nicaragua is nearly here, so let’s quickly look back at last week’s show.

First off, Benry proved to us, once and for all, that he’s a douche.  Completely against our better judgement, we’ve been developing an affinity for Benry over the last few weeks, mostly because he was aligned with our current favorite Fabio, as well as with Dan, who’s won us over despite being physically incapacitated.  Also, compared to the sorry group of players left in stock – Sash, Jane, Holly, Chase – Benry looked great by comparison.  The lesser of several evils.  However, by so easily agreeing to sell out Fabio for his own advancement (in a move that would have only gotten him one, maybe two Tribal Councils further), Benry proved who he really is.  A club promoter.  Yes, he was honest about that from the start, so shame on us for even giving him the benefit of the doubt.  But, to reiterate: DOUCHE.

More: The creepiest reward yet, words of wisdom from Fabio, and our A-B-C of the week, y’all!

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2010/12/07 · 10:12 pm

‘Survivor Nicaragua’: Ow, Quit It

First off, if there’s one thing that Jeff Probst hates, it’s quitters.  The man just has no tolerance for Survivor competitors who travel all the way to a remote island or exotic locale, endure the worst possible conditions they will ever experience, and then quit when the end is in sight.  Especially when those spineless deserters take away a perfectly good shot at a million dollars from hungrier, more deserving players on the jury (or armchair survivors at home).  Jeff HATES that.

Which is why it was so surprising, and so frustrating, that Probst gave NaOnka and Purple Kelly multiple chances to reconsider and stay in the game.  Jeff, if they want to go, let them walk.  Benry and Fabio understood; if NaOnka and Kelly want to get up and walk out and in turn improve that male twosome’s chances then so be it.  Don’t stand in the girls’ way, Jeff.  As far as we were considered, when Purple Kelly and NaOnka announced their intentions to leave following the Reward Challenge Jeff should have stripped them of their buffs right then and there.  But that didn’t happen.  And to instead allow NaOnka to not only stay in the game but also attend the reward was just insulting, infuriating.

Keep Reading: We get a couple things off our chest. And did you know that Dan was on Laugh-In?

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2010/12/01 · 8:09 pm

Wait, is Jane Ma from ‘Ma’s Roadhouse?’

YOU DECIDE:

New Surivor in less than an hour!

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2010/12/01 · 4:26 pm

CSI: Nicaragua?

We think Marty may need to brush up on his English Lit.  When the ousted Survivor competitor arrived at Ponderosa, the lodging for jury members, he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror for the first time in weeks and compares his visage to that of “Robinson Caruso.”  Although, that might have been a better career choice for David than Jade.

[scroll to approx 3:45]

Vodpod videos no longer available.

We’re surprised that Marty didn’t describe to his time in Espada camp as reminiscent of Swiss Family Holly Robinson Peete.

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2010/11/22 · 12:13 pm

‘Survivor Nicaragua’: Am Too Proud to Beg

In last week‘s Survivor: Nicaragua recap we pointed out that we felt Brenda and Sash were not really in control, and could very well find themselves on the outside looking in.  We also meant to add that, despite appearing to call the shots, Brenda is not Parvati, the cunning siren (and arguably best player in Survivor history) who probably seems like the best comparison for Brenda.  Unfortunately for Brenda, there are critical, significant differences between the two.  Brenda might feel like she has everyone under her thumb, but she lacks both the charm and, more importantly, the ruthlessness of Parvati (and while Brenda has seemed more than physically capable, we’d argue that she doesn’t possess Parvati’s considerable strength).  Yes, Brenda had a seemingly strong alliance, with two of her closest allies, Sash and NaOnka, possessing immunity idols, but those two people are clearly intent on keeping those idols for themselves, while Parvati managed to acquire idols without even trying.  Brenda went to Tribal Council with an idol in Sash’s pocket, while Parvati basically went with a bucket overflowing with her own.  (And speaking of Sash, we probably should have also been pointed out that he’s no Russell Hantz, lacking his killer instinct, his courage, and, most notably, his deviousness).

More: Does anyone remember the day before? What goes on inside Purple Kelly’s brain? And who spiked Probst’s coffee?

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2010/11/15 · 3:37 pm

‘Survivor Nicaragua’: Sticks & Stones

Boy, it’s really getting rough out there in Nicaragua, ain’t it?  Gone are the halcyon days of last week when everyone basically agreed to vote out Alina.  No, there are fractures in this group, and as Jeff astutely notes after Tribal Council, they are clearly a “Libertad” divided.

After Marty called out Jane at Tribal Council last week (well, not so much called her out as pointed out how much of a threat she is), it was clear that the battle lines were drawn, with Jane now obsessed with not just beating Marty, but humiliating him (for example, she calls him “Farty” now.  GOTCHA, MARTY!).  Jane, relax.

Read on! The Final Faces of Marty, our picks for the final three, and Jane gets personal…

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2010/11/10 · 7:58 pm

‘Survivor Nicaragua’: Very E-merge-ncy

(Nailed that title)

With the new episode just hours away, very quick thoughts on last week’s merge-centric episode of Survivor: Nicaragua:

  • We’re becoming very concerned that as the show continues we’re going to end up with the least likable players, as well as some of the weakest.  There turned out to be some dunderheads in All-Stars, but at least there were always some Survivors that we enjoyed watching.  If this season ends up being Brenda, Sash, NaOnka, Purple Kelly, we’re not sure how entertaining that’s going to be.
  • Speaking of NaOnka and terrible people, she threw a hissy fit and stole half of the supplies.  Like they wouldn’t notice.  And before that she did this:

Classy.

More: Fabio becomes the most desired male, Dan still exists and our A-B-C of the week…

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2010/10/28 · 4:06 pm

‘Survivor: Nicaragua’ – Utter Stupidity

Maybe we were spoiled by the last season of All-Stars. Not just that it offered unmatched drama, familiar characters, surprise twists, but also that those guys knew how to play the game. Granted, that’s a benefit of playing the game for the second, and in some cases, third time, and there were still plenty of dummies out there (Tyson and JT committing two of the all-time unforgivable blunders in Survivor history), but the people running the game, at the top of the food chain – Russell, Parvati, Boston Rob, even Rupert – did so with intelligence and cunning. It truly was a game managed by all-stars. Heck, even Sandra knew how to play game.  And she also knew to save the vindictive vandalism for the last day, and when Russell steals other player’s shoes he doesn’t tearfully confess an hour later (lessons to be learned, NaOnka, Holly). But over here on Nicaragua, even though there are clearly leaders on each tribe, they’re not nearly as crafty and clever as they think they are. And, now, you can’t even blame it on youth, because Marty, self-proclaimed master of the game, is racking up the mistakes along with the kids. Who among the tribes is truly grasping this game, making smart, logical moves, not just tricky, creative ones? Right now, it’s hard to say.

More: Hey, Marty, stop listening to your gut! And we say goodbye to Jill the proper way. Plus: Let’s milk some milk!

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2010/10/27 · 6:24 pm

‘Survivor Nicaragua’: Double Trouble

For a while there it looked as if, for the fourth week straight, we’d lose one of the older males from Survivor: Nicaragua.  All signs pointed to Marty joining the parade out into the graveyard, following in succession former Espada tribemates Jimmy Johnson, Jimmy T and Tyrone.  Traded two episodes ago to the La Flor tribe, Marty had only his Immunity Idol (and Fabio, for some reason) to protect him.  And when, at Tribal Council, he elected not to use it, he had nothing to left.  He was a goner.

But no???

Read on: What? Why? STUPID.

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2010/10/20 · 5:13 pm

‘Survivor Nicaragua:’ Chicken Little/Little Chicken

Marty started off last week’s episode of Survivor: Nicaragua telling us how he’s got it all figured out.  The game is going exactly as he planned it, he’s completely masterminding the Espada tribe, and he can see two or three tribal councils ahead, so they might as well just give him the million dollars now.

WHOOPS!

Unfortunately, Marty failed to realize that this strategy doesn’t work when you systematically vote off the alpha males in your tribe, leaving your team of geezers severely weakened to the point that the producers have two choices a) take the Espada tribe behind the barn and put them out of their misery or b) mix up the tribes.  Not surprisingly, they chose option B.  Should have seen that one coming Marty.  We take back the million dollars.

So with Marty shifting over to La Flor, along with Jill and Jane (whose unabashed glee at the swap was the first annoying thing she’s done all season), Tyrone took up the mantle of chief of Espada, giving the new arrivals the lowdown on camp protocol.  While Tyrone was clearly the premier physical player for Espada, Marty was the bigger vocal presence, so it was interesting to see Tyrone step into the breach, especially after he seemed content to let Jimmy J, Jimmy T and Marty fight amongst themselves.  But Tyrone, perhaps feeling a bit paternal, decided to be the silverback, and tell the new guys how things are done.  Honestly, the rules and regulations for Espada camp didn’t sound all that outrageous, pretty practical really, and Tyrone didn’t deliver the orientation with a condescending or hostile tone.  But the younglings, led by Benry and Chase, were going to take any excuse to vote off their biggest male competitor, and when Tyrone appeared to overindulge on the chicken he initially protested killing and cooking, he put the final nail in his own coffin.  Always remember, Tyrone: LOOSE TYRONES SINK SHIPS.

Read on: The Sky Is Falling!!!

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