Monthly Archives: December 2009

2009/12/09 · 2:51 pm

Gentlemen, Start Your Crocs!

It’s finally arriving tonight: the Top Chef finale! (unless, of course, Bravo teases us and airs a rerun instead as they’ve been known to do.  Just to screw with me.  But it seems pretty official that it’s happening tonight.  If you consider the blogosphere official.  And facts.  Assuming you think facts are official)

It’s a six-legged race between one Voltaggio, another Voltaggio and the one that’s not a Voltaggio (Kevin!).  Here’s how it stacks up:

The Favorite: Kevin.  The man has just been nails all season, delivering simple, yet elegant food (like a nice cardigan).  He’s the Iceman of Top Chef, except impossibly polite (and not kinda homo-erotic).

Who Do I Want To Win: Bryan.  Love the fact that he seems incapable of displaying human emotion.  It’s not that he’s a robot.  He clearly has a heart, it’s just that you can’t tell if he’s ecstatic or livid or asleep.  But his food has uniformly looked delicious and complex without being smug.  And how cute was it when he bought that stuffed animal for his daughter?  Aww!

Who Do I Think Will Win: Michael.  He’s been running neck a neck a neck all season with his brother and Kevin, but his biggest competition may have been his own ambition (see what I did there?).  He’s the biggest risk taker of the three, and having the chance to do the traditional progression we’re betting that he’s going to be able to pull it all together and truly wow the judges with intense flavor profiles and interesting textures and avocado foams and other words they say a lot.  Also, if he doesn’t win, someone might get hurt, whereas Bryan and Kevin will be gracious losers.  So for the sake of the judge’s own safety (and Padma’s ‘lil bear cub), they might hand the title to Michael V (ah, just kidding, Mike!  I’m sure you won’t hurt anyone if you lose.  We’re just having a good time, that’s all!).

While you count down the minutes on your egg timer until the finale, you can check out Jen talking about how she’s become an inspiration to Philadelphia’s female youth (take that, Rocky!):

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2009/12/09 · 12:37 am

Apparently Billboard Didn’t Drive Around in My Maxima During College

Because if they did they would know that Vanessa Carlton is much more than a One-Hit Wonder.*

I take umbrage with this:

I mean they say it right there, there was a little song called “Ordinary Day,” which, as I recall, was no slouch.

And has Billboard never heard of “White Houses?”  That song only went all the way to #1 in China.  And here I thought Billboard was supposed to be the authority on music.  Guess I was wrong.  Guess it’s China.

Evidently Billboard wasn’t in my car when we rolled down the windows and blasted Vanessa Carlton while waiting on the Wendy’s drive-thru line at 1am all those times.  Their loss.

The full list of alleged “One-Hit Wonders” of the 2000s.

*Her list of hits is even longer if you confuse her with Michelle Branch as I often did (do).

via Vulture

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2009/12/08 · 6:52 pm

Way to Ruin Christmas, ‘SNL’

So maybe now we know why SNL seemed particularly Kristen Wiig-light this past weekend.

She must have been working on new Gilly material, as the Washington Post reports that Wiig, as Gilly, will host a “brand-new”* two-hour Christmas** special entitled “SNL Presents: A Very Gilly Christmas.”  Which basically translates to “SNL Presents: A Series of Repetitive Bits Sandwiched Between the Same Christmas Sketches We Have Been Showing for Twenty Years.”

We really have no problem with replaying the Christmas classics, but hosted by Gilly?  In Seth’s Meyer’s own words, really?!?! I had begun to think the tide was turning against Gilly (and somewhat against Wiig as well, which is unfair, because one should not confuse the character for the performer), but apparently she’s as popular as ever (or at least NBC and/or SNL thinks so).  It’s just hard to imagine what kind of “new sketches” they’ll develop for the special.  As the article notes, “A Gilly sketch is a very structured thing. It’s always set in a classroom where an uncertain teacher (Will Forte) questions his students (Kenan Thompson, Bobby Moynihan) on the source of some trouble making;” this passage is just intended to describe the sketch to the uninitiated, but it’s also achingly true.  It’s just a carbon copy structure with all the same set pieces, just rinse, wash and repeat.  Of course, there will be some  Christmas themed Gilly-antics, but don’t expect her to improve upon her already limited vocabulary (but maybe expect someone to get impaled by a Christmas tree?).

Well, at least with this special there’s no danger of the host coming out as the Love Guru.

Set your DVRs for Dec 17 at 8pm.  Regardless of what I said here, I will.

More: Bonus video! And footnotes!

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2009/12/08 · 12:41 am

100 (and 1) Posts!

That’s right, with our latest SNL recap we officially hit 100 posts!  And now with this entry we’ll formally cross the century mark!  Huzzah!  All in less than a year!  Well on our way to our goal of completely toppling The New York Times.

In honor of reaching the big One Double O, and in hopes of many more unnecessary posts to come, here are a few of our favorite videos from the first hundred days (and by “days” we of course mean posts):

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And, of course, the presumed video of the year:

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Thanks for sticking with us so far; we’re looking forward to bigger and not necessarily better things in the future.  So say we all!

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2009/12/07 · 1:45 pm

SNL: Blake is Lively, Astronaut ‘Tater Chips, and the Muppets are Just Killing it Lately!

Recently it has felt like that upon finishing the weekly installment of Saturday Night Live there’s a sense of emptiness.  I know I watched an hour and a half of television, but why do I feel so unfulfilled?  If a sketch comedy show is broadcast and it’s not funny does it really happen?  Well, this season the show has managed to create buzz despite a dearth of good sketches; so far we’ve learned that if the host is a trainwreck (January Jones) or possessed by flubber (Regular Joe Gordon Levitt) then the show can make waves without being funny.  Then what’s the takeaway from this latest Blake Lively hosted edition?  It’s certainly not of comic triumph (many reviewers are still citing the Taylor Swift episode for this type of euphoria, although I think that entry fell short as well).  No, it just feels like another 90 minutes of sketches, monologue, musical performances and commercials (both genuine and of the parody variety) that went by mostly unremarkably.  However, like any episode, good or bad, funny or offensive (usually the latter of both those comparisons), there are a couple moments worth noting.  Let’s start at the top and then we’ll move directly to the bottom.

More: Electric Mayhem, Me as the Swedish Chef, Forte’s forte and lady bowlers!

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2009/12/06 · 9:43 pm

Teeter Tots: Up and Down with Mr. Scott the Benefactor

At the risk of getting very repetitive we’ll quickly revisit our season long question:  Which Michael Scott did we see in the latest Office installment, “Scott’s Tots?”  Well-meaning but confused and ill-prepared Michael or malicious, self-absorbed, cripplingly myopic Michael?  Well, as usual, and  probably as it should be, we were served some of both.  But, as we’ll see, we at least ended with the more preferable of the two.

I didn’t mind this episode, but it also didn’t seem especially funny.  Whereas I was in a social environment when I initially viewed “Mafia” from earlier this season, and even laughed heartily at it, I knew very quickly that episode wasn’t that humorous, at least not that good.  On other hand, I watched “Scott’s Tots” alone at 2 in the morning which, I admit, could have been a detriment (I did, however, enjoy some leftover birthday ice cream cake, so, despite the hour, I still managed to fulfill my Office watching pre-requisite of either ice cream or NY pizza (and when I say NY Pizza I don’t mean “NY Pizza,” the moniker that every pizza place outside of NY throws onto its marquee in hopes of tricking the consumer into thinking their product is comparable to the thin, crispy, cheesy, heavenly Big Apple standard, and not what it really is, an inferior copy.  Rule of thumb: if some pizza joint beyond the tri-state area bills their product as “NY Pizza,” you’re probably going to be disappointed.  Also, unless they serve slices, it’s not NY Pizza.  And now back to our regularly scheduled blogging));  perhaps I wouldn’t feel so ambivalent about it had I watched before midnight with a crowd.  Still, my intuition says that it would have been the same.  Not particularly hilarious, but, actually, a nice little episode, and the kind of more authentic offering that has been sorely needed of late.

Continue: believable absurdity, feelings and more NY pizza!

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2009/12/04 · 3:03 pm

Friday Nostalgia Corner!

Friday Nostalgia Corner!  The first in what will hopefully be a long running series:

Remember this???

Cause I do!  (it seemed like a dream/nightmare for a long time until I watched it at the Paley Center, back when it was known as the Museum of Television and Radio)

In-depth analysis to hopefully follow.

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2009/12/04 · 2:56 pm

Friday Muppet Video! Kermit is Not a Whore!

Is this a tradition?!?

As I’ve previously mentioned, I normally will not tolerate any kind of Muppet mockery (stoned Kermit, for example).  However, this protection over the brand also extends to employ of the actual Muppets themselves.  It’s been almost 20 years since Jim Henson left us prematurely, and then ownership of our puppet friends has changed hands twice, first to a German company and then finally to Disney, so there’s cause for concern that the Muppets might be whored out for commercials not worthy of the Muppet name (and, no, I am not including the Pizza Hut spots.  Those combine two things I love), or forced into new, edgy personas in an attempt to be more relevant; less Sesame Street and more Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.  It was then with great trepidation that I watched a video posted by Gawker TV entitled, “Kermit is a Giant Slut on the Today Show.”

Fortunately, it was not as bad as the title indicated.  The “lewd pop-culture reference” teased by Gawker seemed to me more like just a pop-culture reference, perhaps a biting one, kicking a tiger while he’s down, but not quite lewd.

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In fact, I kind of prefer this segment to an earlier one in the show when Ms. Piggy made a rather obvious (and perhaps cruder) Swine Flu quip.

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I’ll take relevant feline humor over lame porcine jokes any day of the week.

Good work, Muppets!  Way to not debase yourselves to meet the normal Today Show level of discourse.

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2009/12/02 · 3:00 pm

The Connection Between Wes Anderson, Mario Batali & ‘Top Chef’ Revealed

(Hint: It’s the Crocs)

And speaking of these things, Top Chef finally returns tonight!  Until then, play the Match the Tattoo game! (guess they didn’t have enough Croc-wearers for a Match the Crocs game.  Shame)

And if you still need more Wes Anderson you can check out a recent profile done on him by New Yorker (subscription required), and if you’re feeling a little less elitist, then click over and read Videogum’s effusive praise for Fantastic Mr. Fox.  Agreed!

More later y’alls!

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2009/12/01 · 2:05 am

Congratulations, Entertainment Weekly, You Did It!!!

Your cover made me feel guilty for being alive!

Alright, it’s not EW’s* fault that all these people passed away this year (and what makes it even more depressing is that they couldn’t even fit everyone who died in 09 on the cover.  Didn’t even have room for Ed McMahon!), but it’s still kinda creepy and even at 26 years old this deceased all-star team makes me confront my mortality (also, Dominick Dunne over John Hughes?!  I don’t even know who Dominick Dune is (I thought he was a minor character from the Veronica Mars series finale, which, I admit, is more symptomatic of my ignorance of American literature than an oversight on Entertainment Weekly‘s part)!).  But I guess this was preferable to another Twilight cover (the issue did contain, however, a feature article about the record New Moon opening, so not a total victory over Team Jedward).

If this issue read like the Academy Awards “In Memoriam” montage I would have applauded loudest and longest for Bea Arthur, obviously.

*Entertainment Weekly is a division of Time Warner, of which is completely unaffiliated with Jumped The Snark.

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