Tag Archives: Ralph

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’ Finale: Pawn Stars

Our Redemption Island journey came to an end Sunday night, and while the home stretch of the season had been rather uneventful and predictable, if economical, we still had the chance for fireworks in the last two hours.  Would Rob complete what was unquestionably one of – if not the – definitive Survivor performances, winning it all in his fourth attempt?  Or, perhaps, would Matt fulfill his destiny and return from Redemption Island to become the Sole Survivor (if that was God’s will)?  Or would Mike, the lone remaining member of Zapatera, the double threat of soldier and Jesus lover,  reenter the game and lockup votes from his former teammates?  Or would Grant, the remarkable physical specimen, go undefeated down the stretch, the jury rewarding  his unparalleled athletic prowess with a million dollars.  Or, finally, would Andrea prove victorious in the final Redemption Island duel and surprise us all by going all the way to the end?  Well, there’s no way that could happen, right?

Wrong! But could anyone possibly stand in the way of Boston Rob???

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Filed under Analysis, Be careful what you wish for, Century 21 Reality, God Laughs, LOST, Masochism, Tribal Council, You Decide

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’: S’more Crispy Rice Treats (Director’s Cut)

Phillip Survivor Redemption IslandBefore we start this Survivor: Redemption Island recap CBS would like us to visit www.cbs.com/jeffprobst.  Normally we’d demur that kind of blatant and heavy-handed promotion, but we love Probst too much to complain in this particular instance.  So go, now, and then come right back here.

Back?  Okay, good!  You got back just in time to listen to Stephanie list every food item ever, which, as any survival expert will tell you, is the best way to stave off the hunger of being by yourself in a sweaty jungle for two weeks.  Right, Matt?  Isn’t she helping?  Isn’t Stephanie detailing every flavor of Pop Tart just melting your hunger away?  But Matt totally wins us over by quoting The Sandlot, telling Stephanie “You’re killing me, Smalls.”  GREAT REFERENCE.  You know what, Matt, you’re okay by us.  Just don’t start talking about how God is on your side again and how your faith will help you succeed in this reality TV competition.  Oh, no, there you go.  Nevermind.  That didn’t last long.

More! Sarita steps up, David deliberates and Phillip doesn’t get his fill…

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, George Lucas Doesn't Need More Money, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’ : The Dominoes Fall (Director’s Cut)

Imagine waking up in a beautiful seaside location, the crashing waves slowly lulling you out of your slumber, the faraway echoes of exotic birds gently coaxing you out of dreamland, a warm, refreshing breeze serving as nature’s alarm clock.  And then imagine waking up after nine hungry days in a hot, humid, bug-infested jungle and the first thing you see is Phillip’s nasty, tattered, ill-fitting, sun-faded red underwear.  Because that’s exactly the waking nightmare for the members of the Ometepe tribe as we begin this week’s Survivor: Redemption Island.  Any momentum they had after defeating Zapatera last week is immediately erased by the actual sight of Phillip’s junk escaping from his delicates, forcing the Survivor editing team to employ their best blurring skills.  But, to Phillip’s credit, he seems entirely comfortable just flapping in the wind.  And completely oblivious.  But since we’re watching this from the safety of our couch (and, thankfully, with the strategically placed blurs intact) we’re not complaining, because, besides Russell, Phillip is the most entertaining player on the show.

Simply put, it’s put up or shut up time for Russell.

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Filed under Be careful what you wish for, Century 21 Reality, It's gross., Tribal Council

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’: I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me (Director’s Cut)

We started this week’s episode of Survivor: Redemption Island with our first glimpse of, well, Redemption Island.  After being voted at the first Tribal Council, Francesca arrived at her new home and quickly found a signpost describing life on the island, “Welcome to Redemption Island: No Smoking, No Yelling, No Swearing; Daily Menu: Breakfast – Rice; Lunch – Rice, Dinner – Rice.”  Francesca can’t find a flint, so she’s worried about freezing during night, but really she’s just happy to be away from Former Federal Agent (?) Phillip.

Read on: Phillip remains an emotional, delusion wreck, but we get a glimpse of his primal side. Plus: Ralph defines dumb luck, carnival games return, and Boston Rob contemplates the chess board. Also, crabs!

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Good Humor, The Worst, Tribal Council

‘Survivor: Redemption Island’ Premiere: Amateur Hour (Director’s Cut)

This season we’ll be taking our ‘Survivor’ recapping talents to Gawker TV.  However, we’re going to also offer expanded, “Director’s Cut” recaps on this blog.  So here we go.  Day One.

The challenge for Survivor: Redemption Island is going to be keeping us interested in anyone not named Boston Rob or Russell Hantz.  Our fear going into the premiere was that the presence of these veterans would overshadow the new Survivors.  However, for one episode at least, we got just enough Boston Rob and Russell while also introducing some intriguing new cast members.  We’re not entirely convinced that there are any personalities that can match up to the two masterminds, but judging from an explosive, unbelievable, train wreck of a first Tribal Council, we’re in for a season of crackpots and fireworks.

But, before we get there: helicopters!  And Probst just enjoying the feel of the cool Nicaragua air hitting his face.

Read on: Phillip announces he’s former federal agent (?), Kristina makes a move too early, Russell and Rob play it cool, and the most insane first Tribal Council ever. Plus, our first A-B-C phrase of the season…

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Filed under Analysis, Be careful what you wish for, Century 21 Reality, It's gross., Tribal Council