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Category Archives: The Worst
Don’t Abuse Facebook Questions, Okay?
First, we freely admit that Facebook Questions is an asinine feature of a site that is continuously populating itself with unnecessary clutter. But still, unless your sole purpose is to shame Facebook Questions into submission, don’t ask questions like these. “Why do people watch Lost?” That’s like asking a writer “Where do you get your ideas?” Why do we watch Lost? We just do, OKAY?! And the second question, “How did LOST end?,” c’mon! You have enough motivation to post a question on Facebook about the subject, but not enough to just find the last episode online? Or simply Google the answer? That couldn’t take more than twelve seconds.
What is this world coming to? We guess Armageddon is coming.
Whatever you do, DON’T ANSWER! We’ve gone ahead and given this enough legitimacy as it is.
Kirk Cameron Talking Armageddon on 360°: Rare Miss, Anderson Cooper; Also, What???
If you’re a regular visitor to Jumped the Snark you’ll know that some of our greatest pleasure derives from those delightful occasions when Anderson Cooper rips a deluded, misguided, self-serving and/or reprehensible guest to pieces. He did it with former Michigan Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell and with Congressman Michelle Bachmann and with Amazon. So imagine our excitement when he welcomed Kirk Cameron as a guest last night. Finally, someone would nail Cameron for forcing the producers of Growing Pains to write former Playmate Julie McCullough off the show, leaving Mike Seaver at the altar, and leaving us stunned. Cooper could have authoritatively questioned Cameron about letting his Christian values dictate the course for the sitcom. He could have asked what’s the deal with Way of the Master. Or what was it like to work with a Canadian like Alan Thicke. Or even, on a serious note, he could have inquired about the late Andrew Koenig (let alone mention of this). Nope. All they did was talk about the dead blackbirds and fish in Arkansas. Boring (also, huh?)! That’s a big miss, Anderson, and we’ve come to expect more from you.
Vodpod videos no longer available.(if video doesn’t load click here)
Also, isn’t bringing Kirk Cameron on as an Armageddon expert just the kind of thing that Cooper would rail against, castigating its inherent absurdity? Perhaps he did that later in his “Keeping Them Honest” segment, putting himself on trial. If so, he’s won us back. If not, for shame, Anderson. For shame.
via Videogum from Crooks and Liars
Filed under Growing Pains, Makes You Think, Mancrush, The Worst
‘Survivor Nicaragua’: Ow, Quit It
First off, if there’s one thing that Jeff Probst hates, it’s quitters. The man just has no tolerance for Survivor competitors who travel all the way to a remote island or exotic locale, endure the worst possible conditions they will ever experience, and then quit when the end is in sight. Especially when those spineless deserters take away a perfectly good shot at a million dollars from hungrier, more deserving players on the jury (or armchair survivors at home). Jeff HATES that.
Which is why it was so surprising, and so frustrating, that Probst gave NaOnka and Purple Kelly multiple chances to reconsider and stay in the game. Jeff, if they want to go, let them walk. Benry and Fabio understood; if NaOnka and Kelly want to get up and walk out and in turn improve that male twosome’s chances then so be it. Don’t stand in the girls’ way, Jeff. As far as we were considered, when Purple Kelly and NaOnka announced their intentions to leave following the Reward Challenge Jeff should have stripped them of their buffs right then and there. But that didn’t happen. And to instead allow NaOnka to not only stay in the game but also attend the reward was just insulting, infuriating.
Keep Reading: We get a couple things off our chest. And did you know that Dan was on Laugh-In?
Filed under Century 21 Reality, The Worst, Tribal Council
‘Survivor Nicaragua’: Sticks & Stones
Boy, it’s really getting rough out there in Nicaragua, ain’t it? Gone are the halcyon days of last week when everyone basically agreed to vote out Alina. No, there are fractures in this group, and as Jeff astutely notes after Tribal Council, they are clearly a “Libertad” divided.
After Marty called out Jane at Tribal Council last week (well, not so much called her out as pointed out how much of a threat she is), it was clear that the battle lines were drawn, with Jane now obsessed with not just beating Marty, but humiliating him (for example, she calls him “Farty” now. GOTCHA, MARTY!). Jane, relax.
Read on! The Final Faces of Marty, our picks for the final three, and Jane gets personal…
Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Count Bleh, The Worst, Tribal Council
ScarJo Goes for the ‘SNL’ Trifecta This Weekend
Don’t forget, Scarlett Johansson returns to Studio 8H for her third hosting turn this weekend. Inevitably, there will be some variation on this sketch (but if Ryan Reynolds pops up again, we won’t complain):
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Did you know that, according to IMDB, ScarJo’s first credited role was as Laura in the 1994 Elijah Wood “family film” North? In his review of that movie, Roger Ebert said “I hated this movie. Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it,” and then later on Siskel & Ebert remarked, “I hate this movie as much as any movie we’ve ever reviewed on the 19 years we’ve been doing this show.” So, you know, check your local listings!
Filed under Just because., Mancrush, Saturday Night Live, The Big Screen, The Worst, Yasmine Bleeth
‘Survivor Nicaragua’: Very E-merge-ncy
(Nailed that title)
With the new episode just hours away, very quick thoughts on last week’s merge-centric episode of Survivor: Nicaragua:
- We’re becoming very concerned that as the show continues we’re going to end up with the least likable players, as well as some of the weakest. There turned out to be some dunderheads in All-Stars, but at least there were always some Survivors that we enjoyed watching. If this season ends up being Brenda, Sash, NaOnka, Purple Kelly, we’re not sure how entertaining that’s going to be.
- Speaking of NaOnka and terrible people, she threw a hissy fit and stole half of the supplies. Like they wouldn’t notice. And before that she did this:
Classy.
More: Fabio becomes the most desired male, Dan still exists and our A-B-C of the week…
Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, The Worst, Tribal Council, Yasmine Bleeth
Hilarious Gay Joke From ‘The Single Guy’
Ah, the good old days, when TV characters could ask if someone was gay through a simple effeminate, flamboyant gesture meant to resemble of how every gay man ever acts. And for bonus points is David Schwimmer AS Ross Geller. Crossover alert!
Lesson learned: if you admire a sweater worn by someone of the same sex then you’re a big-time homo. Thanks Must See TV!
Filed under Bad Humor, Must See TV, The Worst
‘Survivor Nicaragua’ Unless You’re Bill Parcells, How Could You Think You’re a Better Coach Than Jimmy Johnson? AKA The Final Faces of Jimmy Johnson; Plus: Player by Player Odds!
Well, Survivor: Nicaragua just became a little tougher to watch every week. While we were initially skeptical of the inclusion of former NFL head coach Jimmy Johnson’s in the cast, we were quickly won over by his charm and gung-ho attitude. We still think it was a questionable decision by the producers, big picture-wise, but it enabled us to enjoy his positivity, humor and variety of faces every week. That is, until the Espada tribe made the curious (aka egregious, outrageous) decision to cut Coach Johnson, engineered by Jimmy T and Marty’s testosterone-driven need to prove that they can be a better leader (than a Super Bowl winning NFL head coach). Why Jimmy T felt threatened by Jimmy Johnson, or why he desired to usurp the leadership role when it makes more sense to let Jimmy J maintain the mantle and thus the pressure, is beyond us. And why Marty feels compelled to “accelerate” the game is even more baffling. Now they’ve put themselves both in the cross-hairs, while they could have let the bullseye rest on Coach Johnson. It was way to early for a power grab, and completely unnecessary, and they’ll likely realize this sooner rather than later. At least vote out the dude who can’t even walk (Danny).
But, for now, the damage is done and Jimmy J is gone. In his honor, our (perhaps) final Faces of Jimmy Johnson:
Continue: The sad final Faces of Jimmy Johnson. Then we rundown who’s left!
Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Lists, The Worst, Tribal Council
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