Monthly Archives: February 2012

Dancing with the Stars of TGIF; Or an Excuse for Reginald VelJohnson in a Uniform

Well, we assume that Dancing with the Stars was unable to strike a deal with Bartman to join their new cast, so they went ahead and secured the next best thing, Urkel!

That’s right!  Jaleel “Steve/Stefon Urkel” White will be the centerpiece of Dancing with the Stars upcoming 14th(!) season (which begs the obvious question, how long until they do Dancing with the All-Stars?).  And, we bet you thought we’d take this easy opportunity to post the Urkel Dance, right?  RIGHT?  WRONG.  Nope, we’re taking this easy opportunity to post what happened after the Urkel Dance, Drunk Urkel! (but you should totally go watch the Urkel Dance when you’re done here)

But, no half measures here, we’re also taking this easy opportunity to revisit our dormant, once regular feature, Reginald VelJohnson in Uniform Moment of the Week!  And this is what happened after Drunk Urkel after the Urkel Dance!

What TGIF star do you think they’ll snag for Season 15???  Cousin Cody?  We know that he can kick.

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Filed under Nostalgia Corner, Reginald VelJohnson, TGIF

Did the Oscars Set Rip-Off ‘Saturday Night Live’ Circa 1985?

Well, perhaps it’s reparations for SNL stealing Billy Crystal’s mildly racist black people at the movies joke, but it appears that Crystal and the last night’s Academy Award’s telecast stole their set from the one used in Studio 8H during Season 11 (the notorious Robert Downey Jr-Anthony Michael Hall-Randy Quaid interlude).  The similarity is too hard to ignore.

Last night, hosted by Crystal:

Season 11, Episode 2 (November 16, 1985), hosted by Chevy Chase:

YOU DECIDE.

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Filed under Flashback!, Rip-off, Saturday Night Live, You Decide, Yvonne Hudson

Muppet Monday: Oscars the Grouch

If you had a chance (or the misfortune) to read our tweets from last night’s Oscars telecast, you’ll know that we were very sore that Bret McKenzie was not given a chance to perform his Oscar-nominated “Man or Muppet” (and one would assume a theoretical performance would include Jason Segel & Walter, if not the Muppet cast), and we took every opportunity to point out an uninspiring three minutes that could have been better spent with a Muppet musical interlude (which, basically, was any three minutes in the show, save for Tom Hanks’ presentation and Will Ferrell and Zack Galifianakis’s own musical interlude).  And, despite the hope that we foolishly granted ourselves in our most private moments, the Muppet contribution to the show was limited to a short bit with Kermit & Miss Piggy introducing Cirque Du Soleil (so you had time for those freaks and not the Muppets? C’mon).  So with that you could consider the chance to do something fun and different and special officially thwarted, in favor of the same old pabulum (and the new old Billy Crystal).

BUT, despite all that, the Muppets did deliver two of the night’s best moments.  First, of course, was Bret McKenzie’s triumph (although, let’s be honest, if the song from Rio won, we should just pack it in.  That would have been worse that Meryl Streep’s victory (which, by the way, was a win for lazy white people everywhere)), winning the Oscar for a film that deserved much more acclaim and recognition than it received.  The second moment was McKenzie’s gracious, earnest acceptance speech, and, more to the point, Jason Segel’s reaction when McKenzie offered his gratitude to Jim Henson.  That moment of pure joy could warm the coldest heart.

We can’t find that clip online (thanks a lot, the man!), but this almost approximates that joy and innocence:

On a related note, for the better part of the last year we’ve been slogging our way through Michael Davis’ Street Gang, the wonderfully detailed and thoroughly researched history of Sesame Street.  Not surprisingly, we found the most engaging excerpts to be those that touched on Jim Henson’s contribution to the show, and, in a macabre way, the description of his passing and his now legendary memorial service.  We finally came to this event towards the end of the book as we were riding along the E train yesterday; at one point the doors open, we look up and what should we see?  Jim Henson, surrounded by his greatest creations, a poster for their exhibit at the Museum of the Moving Image.  It was a bit eerie, but even more it felt special, serendipitous.  And, then, mere hours later, McKenzie invokes Henson’s name, providing another fitting tribute to a man who remains an inspiration to so many of us.

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Filed under Bert-n-Ernie, Muppet Mondays, Muppets, Tyranasaurus Sex

Parting Shot: The Whole World in Our Hands

Boy Met World. And He Liked It.

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Filed under Parting Shot, TGIF

‘Survivor: One World’ – Big Boobs

We made a joke last week in our Survivor: ONE WORLD! recap about girls having tiny brains, just not having the mental capacity to compete with the male sex.  But, hey, that was all in good fun.  And we would never legitimately call these women or any women dumb.  But Nina -a women herself – has no problems doing so.  And she pretty much does so for forty-four minutes in this episode.  Also, Kat is really dumb.  We know what we said three sentences ago, but, empirically, scientifically, she’s a numskull.  Our word, not Nina’s (her’s was “nitwit.”  Also accurate).

But do you know what Kat also is?  She’s a master of fire, and she wastes no time in picking up where we left off last week, telling us that no one touches the fire but her, not even the men who were so chivalrous enough to keep the Salami Tribe’s fire going while they were off at Tribal Council bickering and voting off no one.  Because even if the fire went out, she could start it right back up.  No big.

Tell em, Kat!

Things are starting to fray at Salami, but Alicia’s not worried.  A) She’s won’t be weighed down by appropriate fitting clothing, and B) she’s got her alliance.

Read on: The women get a taste of their own medicine. And what’s that in the woods???

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Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Gratuitous Search Term Bait, The Worst, Tribal Council, You Decide

Parting Shot: The Final Curtain Call

And the curtain falls.  We weep.  Thanks again, #8. 

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Filed under Matt Christopher Books, Parting Shot

On a Very Special ‘It Gets Betterish’

For the better part of the last year we’ve had the privilege of producing the wonderful little web series It Gets Betterishcreated by and starring our dear friends Eliot Glazer and Brent Sullivan.  And this week we premiered our most bonkers video to date, they were generous enough to let us direct.  It’s our tribute to one of the great sitcom tropes of the late 80s/early 90s, equal parts Golden Girls, The Cosby Show and Growing Pains.  Except our take involves trannies, home birth and Tilda Swinton.

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Filed under Golden Girls, Growing Pains, Huh?, Virulent

Kirk’s Back: The Way of the Master Leads to the Pilgrims

Kirk Cameron just won’t quit.  He could have stopped at teen heart-throb.  He could have quit at WB star.  He could have hung them up after marrying his co-star and adopting four children.  He could have called it a day after headlining a Christian film franchise.  But Kirk Cameron wouldn’t be Kirk Cameron if he just settled for the status quo.  So, in true Kirk Cameron fashion, he’s forged ahead, adding documentarian to his resume, attempting to answer the question “What the fuck happened to America?”

And it looks he finds his answer!  Our money is on “too many Jews.”

Our only question is “when will Nic Cage star in the big screen adaptation?”

WATCH YOUR BACK, MICHAEL MOORE!!!

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Filed under God Laughs, Growing Pains, The Big Screen

In Memorium: Kid

We weren’t even three years-old when the Mets won the World Series in 1986, but that team has come to define our life.  We don’t remember much, if anything, from that time, but we watched and rewatched and wore out 1986: A Year to Remember, the VHS yearbook of that magical season, and even if those memories weren’t burned onto our cerebral cortex in that October, we don’t recall a time when we didn’t know that team, when Mex, Doc, Darryl, Nails and Kid weren’t our heroes.  The only other similar experience for us was the 1994 Rangers, and while we continue to revere that team  – especially captain and messiah Mark Messier – their impact on us is not as great as the ’86 Mets.  In ’94 we were old enough to choose the Rangers, but the ’86 Mets essentially chose us.  For better or worse.  That would be the team against which we would measure every other team against for the rest of our lives.  And we know that, no matter what, because of that team’s success, and promise, and its ultimate shortcomings, no team will ever match it in our hearts and minds.

Despite the fact that we’re not left-handed and don’t play first base, we gravitated towards Keith Hernandez.  He was our guy.  It was the intangibles, the way he approached the game with a a cerebral approach, the way he made the players around him better, the way he was a leader and a champion.  But we also knew, as A Year to Remember made clear, that Keith wasn’t alone in leading that team.  Gary Carter, he of the wide, indefatigable smile, the king the curtain call, shared that role with Keith.  If Mex was the brains of that team, Kid was the heart.  Keith was the field general, Gary was their spiritual guide.  They made each other better, and together they willed that team to win.  And in doing so left an indelible mark on so many of us.  They were the rock.

That was the first time we ever heard the world “effervescent” and we’ve associated it with Gary Carter ever since.

Thanks, Kid.

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Filed under In Memoriam, Local Flavor, Matt Christopher Books, Nostalgia Corner

‘Survivor: One World’ Premiere: A Game of Chicken

Good news, everyone!: Survivor recaps are back (for now, at least.  Until we inevitably get pulled away for something like this).

And we start Survivor: ONE WORLD! with even more good news: No more Redemption Island (unless there’s a top-secret Last Chance Redemption Island, but wethinks they’re leaving that for Tom Colicchio), which is welcome for two reasons; 1) the show will return to its classic structure, giving us the enjoyment of separate reward and immunity challenges, and sparing us the pain of watching exiled player after exiled player finding God on the Redemption Island (also, it saves us from enduring someone like Ozzie climbing trees, catching fish, and belting gorilla calls, boasting about how he’s never eaten better); and 2) this will make these recaps at least somewhat shorter, relieving us of the responsibility of reporting on every single Redemption Island duel (however, it does preclude us from making fun of The Real World-Road Rules Challenge, but we’ll try to make up for that in other places.  God willing).

So let’s get to it!  Survivor: ONE WORLD! starts by revealing that in instead of Redemption Island, this season’s twist is that it’s boys vs. girls, which should have immediately inspired all women to crib from Jenna Morasca‘s playbook, and cautioned the men against such tactics.  Instead, when Jeff Probst gives both tribes sixty-seconds to strip the truck they came in on for parts, “Big Mike” takes a page out of Rupert’s book and employ’s the ol’ steal from the other team trick.  It’s really Survivor 101, a classic first ten minutes, scrambling for initial supplies move.  Frankly, the women  should have known better, and their lack of attention was a terrible lapse in judgment that cemented this as a battle of the sexes, and basically sets the course for this season, at least until the first tribal shakeup or the merge.  Right now though, it’s boys and girls in the sandbox, pulling each other’s hair, giving (American) Indian rope burns and throwing dirt.  In other words, they’re being a bunch of self-possessed, petty brats, which we’re sure is exactly what Survivor and producer Mark Burnett were hoping for.

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, Tribal Council