Monthly Archives: March 2011

2011/03/05 · 4:55 pm

This Is What An ‘American Idol’ Finalist Looks Like

While there are indisputably some tremendous voices left on American Idol we were thoroughly bored by this week’s Top 24 performances.  Personally, we found both the male and female showcases underwhelming, totally uninspired.  Nothing new, interesting or fun about them.  Pretty much, wake me up when Steven Tyler says something ridiculous.

So we thought we’d offer up a little panacea, and provide an example to the remaining 13 contestants of how it should be done.

Listen to Haley, guys.  Turn that beat around.

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Filed under All the sudden I could really go for a Coke, Century 21 Reality

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2011/03/05 · 4:41 pm

We’re Not Above Finding This Funny

Nope.  Not by a long shot.

But where have you gone, funky Chris Medina?

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Filed under All the sudden I could really go for a Coke, Century 21 Reality, It's gross., Tyranasaurus Sex

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2011/03/04 · 8:08 pm

Parting Shot: Rough on the Diamond

(in keeping with our mini-Judd Apatow theme to end the week)

“Meeting on the mound.  Very cool.”

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Filed under Discos and Dragons, Judd Apatow, Parting Shot

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2011/03/03 · 6:47 pm

Two Years Later, Our Judd Apatow Chart Reaches Judd Apatow!

Well, maybe not exactly.  It’s possible he still hasn’t seen it.  Or maybe just took a cursory glance.  But he definitely saw our Tweet from last night, linking to the Judd Apatow Chart in commemoration of the Blu-Ray release of The Cable Guy.  How do we know he saw it?  Because he retweeted it:

We did it guys!  Nearly two years later, we finally got through.  Now we can say this blog was not created in vain.

So, Judd, thank you so much for taking the time to click “retweet.”  We know that sounds sarcastic, but we certainly don’t mean it that way.  Just the fact that you paused for a second to acknowledge our work gives us renewed inspiration.  So to all you new Jumped the Snark readers, brought here by Apatow’s retweet, welcome and get ready.  We could retire now and be satisfied, but we’re not going to stop here.  Hate to break it to you, every out there, but now we’re emboldened to do even more.

And, why not, let’s end this with a little Gordon Crisp.  Possibly our favorite three seconds of all-time.

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Filed under Count Bleh, Discos and Dragons, Freak Out Control, Judd Apatow

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2011/03/02 · 10:29 pm

Last Week on ‘Top Chef: All-Stars’: You’re Gonna Fry

Quickly, before new one, last time on Top Chef: All-Stars:

– Paula Deen stops by for the Quickfire to annoy the hell out of us!  And, of course, to tell everyone to FRY their foods.  Oil, butter, DEATH.

MORE: Mike is a thief AND a fraud. But justice is served. And it’s delicious…

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, Rip-off, The Sixth Taste, Top Scallop

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2011/03/02 · 1:39 am

Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: No Idea (Every Search Term is a Snowflake)

SO!  Today’s search term is “muppet of dolphin.”  And, as the title of this post indicates, we have no idea what that means (maybe it’s late and we’re tired and in the morning it’ll make sense, but not now).  So, here’s our best guess to approximate what you out there might have been looking for.

Our favorite Dolphin related scene!

 

A video featuring Lew Zealand, a Muppet whose trademark is throwing fish!

 

And, finally, my new Muppet (possibly named Lewis) from the FAO Schwarz Muppet Whatnot Workshop!

From the FAO Schwarz Muppet Whatnot Workshop

 

Covering our bases!

 

 

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Filed under Gratuitous Search Term Bait, Huh?, Local Flavor, Muppets

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2011/03/01 · 7:21 pm

Ladies and Gentlemen, Your Next Movie Star Part 2 (Cup Checking Higgins)

Just when we thought we couldn’t like Jason Sudeikis anymore – the guy loves wings AND beer – he goes ahead and tops himself.  We figured he’d peaked last week with his Buffalo Wild Wings and Natty Light fueled appearance on Conan; how could be possibly endear himself to us anymore than that?  But then he flew back east and just flat-out dominated last Friday’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, sprinkling his infectious charm over the whole show, culminating with a spontaneous attack on Higgins (aka Higgbones) while the two sample some  gourmet grilled cheese.  Just watch and delight.

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Earlier in the show Sudeikis joined Fallon for a round of “Long Pour,” further establishing Sudeikis as today’s foremost beer-drenched comedian.  Jason, you like beer, we like beer, what’s say we get together and like beer together?

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AND THERE’S MORE!

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Filed under Brilliance, Good Humor, Mancrush, Saturday Night Live, What? Too fabulous?

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