Nope. Not by a long shot.
But where have you gone, funky Chris Medina?
Category Archives: Tyranasaurus Sex
We Did It! 500(+) Posts!
Well, actually, due to a rather unbelievably productive early part of 2011, we passed the 500 post mark a few weeks ago, somewhere around the time we started the Saved by the Bell Project. In fact, we’ve sped from 400 posts to 500 in just about a month, crushing any previous 100 post dash on this blog. So congrats everyone, gold medals all around! All that training, all those cold mornings getting up before dawn to take us to the ice rink, all those long weekends devoted to out-of-state tournaments, it’s all been worth it, and we can’t thank you enough for making it happen.
We promised a blow-out for #500, but since we got there so quickly, and since it’s already pretty far in the rear view mirror, and since we’ve hope to approximate this pace for the foreseeable future, we’ve going to hold off on the real fireworks for another milestone. Maybe for 600. Or 750. Or, dare we say it, 1000? Maybe. Just maybe.
But, until then, here’s a little something to celebrate this joyous occasion:
(And now that we’ve listened to this song for the first time in ages, we realize that it doesn’t make sense. Walking 500 miles and then walking 500 more would equal a total of 1,000 miles. Where do they get 5,000 miles from? They’d need to walk another 500 miles 8 times to reach 5,000 miles. But if her door is only 500 miles and then another 500 miles away that additional 4,000 miles would be totally unnecessary right? Unless they’re using some weird version of the metric system. They are Scottish, after all. Of course, if that was the case it would be 500 kilometers. Well, actually, 500 miles would be roughly 805 km, which we understand is not nearly as catchy. But we just don’t think we’ll be able to listen to this song, and The Proclaimers in general, in the same way anymore. Also, if both brothers showed up at this girl’s door would she have to choose one? They’d be the “men” who walked 5,000 (or 1,000) miles to show up at her door.)
Filed under Count Bleh, Makes You Think, Tyranasaurus Sex
Kieran’s Korner In Memorium: A Eulogy For the Compact Disc (And the Worst It Had to Offer)
Jumped the Snark presents, with pleasure, the latest thoughts from Mr. Kieran Walsh:
They were shiny. They were round. After breaking the dorm room mirror I used one to comb my hair for an entire semester of college (true!)And, now, suffice to say, they’re pretty much dead.
I’m referring, of course, to the Compact Disc.
Oh, you can still find them. Most of the big music stores are closed, of course. No more Tower Records. Alas, Sam Goody. Whither Virgin…
Yes, strictly speaking, CDs are still out there and, as long as what little I understand of economics still holds true in our increasingly bizarre post-TARP universe, they should be for a while.
But in terms of the popular imagination—in terms of being the de facto medium for pre-recorded music—the Compact Disc is history.
Yesterday in ‘Today’: KLG & Hoda Weigh-In on the Grammys
Well, it seems that Kathie Lee and Hoda had the same reaction to the Grammy awards as every ignorant, idiotic Facebook and Twitter user out there:
You know that Arcade Fire have been on SNL twice and thus have been in your building probably a half-dozen times, right? Oh, no, obviously not. C’mon, guys. Look around you!
But great zing, KLG! Vaudeville is calling!
Although, we don’t hear you questioning the safety of The Rolling Stones. That could be just as, if not more, dangerous than an arcade fire.
Filed under Interweb, Saturday Night Live, The Worst, Today in Today, Tyranasaurus Sex, Weigh-in
Did ‘The King’s Speech’ Poster Rip-Off Mirah’s ‘You Think It’s Like This But Really It’s Like This’ Cover Art?
Here’s the poster for Best Picture front-runner The King’s Speech:
And here’s the cover art for Mirah’s 2000 album You Think It’s Like This But Really It’s Like This:
Makes you think, right?
Probably just a coincidence.
But just for fun:
Or:
Hmmmmmm….
YOU DECIDE
Be Careful What You Don’t Wish For: Richard Hatch & Meatloaf on ‘Celebrity Apprentice’; AKA Our Brain is Fully Intact
Okay, well, this doesn’t even approximate the level of Boston Rob vs. Russell, but it’s intriguing nonetheless, as the new season of Celebrity Apprentice will pit the original Survivor winner against one of our guiltiest pleasures (they’ll also be competing against La Toya Jackson, Jose Canseco, Mark McGrath, David Cassidy, Dionne Warwick and (gulp) Gary Busey, among others). Truth be told, we didn’t get into Survivor until the second season (The Australian Outback), so we have no particular allegiance to Hatch (in fact, we somewhat resent “the snake” because we think he gets too much credit for defining how the game is played; people would have figured out to lie and manipulate sooner or later), but the presence of Meatloaf might just be enough to get us to tune in (briefly). When Jumped the Snark was young we had an obsession with “I would do anything for love” (thanks, in large part, to the videos frequent play on VH1), and we soon played out both sides of Bat Out of Hell 2: Back Into Hell on our Walkman. In fact, we once cleared a basement at a friend’s birthday party by belting out a rendition of the tune (perhaps we shouldn’t have done the female parts too). But we loved that song, and we loved that album, and until we entered our prolonged Billy Joel phase in middle school Meatloaf was our favorite (along with Weird Al). And we still include”See Meatloaf live” on our list of things to do before we (or he) die.
Admit it. You love it.
Oh, and our prediction: Mark McGrath will NOT win.
Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: Gold Medley
Today it appears that many of you found this blog by searching for “jimmy fallon tgif themes,” ostensibly referring to the TGIF theme song medley performed on Late Night last April by a capella superstars Straight No Chaser. While those readers were on the right track, the video from Late Night is, unfortunately, no longer available. However, fret not, because we’re going to do better than that TGIF-only medley. Below, find a more inclusive sitcom medley from Straight No Chaser, one that will satisfy your TGIF cravings (Full House, Perfect Strangers), but will also ask you to show them that smile again.
And, just because, here’s SNC (as their fans lovingly refer to them) with their rendition of one of our all-time favorite jams:
It’s Wednesday night and, thanks to Straight No Chaser, we feel all right (also, we’re getting pizza!).
Kieran’s Korner: Let’s Get Real About Paul McCartney
It’s been five days and yet we still have a bad taste in our mouth after last week’s ‘SNL’ hosted by Paul McCartney with a special appearance by Paul Rudd. We understand that Paul McCartney is special, even the British monarchy has acknowledged that. There are stars, and there are mega-stars, and then there are supernovas. McCartney is the latter. However, we still believe that ‘SNL’ shouldn’t have been so much about him, and his presence struck us a somewhat selfish booking, designed to provide more pleasure for the cast and crew than the audience at home. This sentiment was only driven home when Paul Rudd remarked on ‘Live! With Regis and Kelly’ that (no surprise) after the show McCartney stuck around to play an impromptu private concert. Rudd was obviously still in awe of the moment, noting that he’s “a massive Beatles fan, like everyone.” But we’re not massive Beatles fans, and even if we were, we wonder if we’d be interested in McCartney’s other works, like the songs he played for his first two ‘SNL’ sets. So that got us thinking, do people really care about hearing Paul McCartney play anything but Beatles songs? Do they just tolerate McCartney in hopes that he’ll break out the Beatles catalog? Or do they genuinely enjoy the cuts from Wings and his solo stuff? So to get more clarity on this question, we turned to our guest blogger-in-residence and Beatles aficionado Kieran Walsh, in our latest Kieran’s Korner:
Wow. Lead me into a minefield, why don’t you?
It’s not an easy question. It’s not an easy answer. Gosh… Well, let’s do this.
Filed under Analysis, Kieran's Korner, Saturday Night Live, Tyranasaurus Sex
This Could Only Be Better If It Somehow Involved Pizza AKA LOST & Kermit!
Many years ago two of my greatest, if not my two greatest, passions united in a music video. I speak of course of Weezer and the Muppets, joining forces for the “Keep Fishin’” music video. Unfortunately, by that time Weezer was already on their way to retroactively ruining the fanatical affection I harbored for them during my high school years. The union was still unimaginably cool, but would have required a little bit more freak out control if it was made just a couple of years earlier (or perhaps that’s the benefit of time talking, as well as the carnage inflicted by Make Believe and The Red Album*).
However, I have no such bitterness about this new, brain-exploding team-up, the latest in the “Lost Slapdown” series. Yes, as odd as it may sound, God (and Disney corporate synergy) have brought together Lost and Kermit the Frog.
But although this is a monumental, colossal cross-over, I will not be getting a tattoo commemorating this meeting of Kermit, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse, despite what some have suggested.
Make sure to check out the other Lost-Muppet joint ventures, including Pepe auditioning for the role of the Smoke Monster, Rizzo infiltrating the writers’ room and the Swedish Chef, an apparent avid Lost fan, running the ABC cafeteria.
*For a truly thought-provoking and thoughtful look at the devolution of Weezer, specifically Rivers Cuomo’s fall from ironic yet genuine songwriter to hackneyed hyper-self-aware song-crafter, we urge you to take a look at Chuck Klosterman‘s** essay on the subject in his anthology Eating the Dinosaur. And just go ahead and read everything else in the compendium, because it’s all genius.
**And if Chuck Klosterman*** does anything with the Muppets I’ll flip out just as much, if not more. Even if it’s an essay comparing Elmo to Helen Thomas.
***Just realized that “Klosterman” contains the word “lost.” Whoa.
Jumped The Snark 
