And we thought this was creepy.
Well, with our 2nd breast-themed item of the night, we’re one step away from becoming full-fledged flesh peddlers. Watch your back, all of the Internet’s soft-core porn websites!
Category Archives: It’s gross.
Speaking of Boobs: More Words We Never Wanted to Hear From Kathie Lee
Filed under Good with Coffee, It's gross., Today in Today
‘Survivor: Redemption Island’: Russell’s Razor (Director’s Cut)
Over the last couple years we’ve become ardent devotees to the concept of “Occam’s Razor,” the tenet that the “simplest explanation is most likely the correct one.” There’s a similar paradigm that works itself into any season of Survivor, but focuses less on the simplest explanation and more on the theory that players will make their moves based on the belief that the other competitors will make the correct, smartest decisions. Unfortunately, as the show as often proved, playing that way does not always lead to the best results. And we saw an example of this again last night.
But more on that later. First, (as teased last week) Matt arrives on Redemption Island and Francesca is shocked (shocked!) it wasn’t Phillip who was voted out by the Ometepe tribe earlier in the night. He had no allies, posed no threat, and basically begged for mercy, so why would Ometepe (and its leader, Boston Rob) want to keep him around? Oh, yeah, for those very reasons. Phillip may be a loose cannon, intolerable, and borderline bipolar, but right now, as Rob says, he’s a loyal solider. Plus, he’s endlessly entertaining. Back at Ometepe camp Rob breaks down the alliance, explicitly telling Phil that he’s the fifth person on a five-person alliance and Phil is basically responds “Cool! Just happy to be here! Thanks, Rob!” And then they seal Phil’s blind allegiance with a first bump, which in the three federal agencies that Phil used to serve in is tantamount to swearing on one’s parents’ graves.
Filed under Analysis, Century 21 Reality, Huh?, It's gross., Top Scallop, Tribal Council
We’re Not Above Finding This Funny
Nope. Not by a long shot.
But where have you gone, funky Chris Medina?
Danza Moment of the Week: Sanitized by the Bell
In keeping with our Saved by the Bell theme to the week, we’re going back to the classroom with Teach: Tony Danza for this week’s Danza Moment. It seems like ages ago that we joined Danza for his journey as an English teacher at Philadelphia’s Northeast High. But we shouldn’t forget those days, and we should never forget that Danza was obsessed with hand sanitizer.
We’re sure that made a great impression on his students. Hygiene is the coolest!
Do you think Marilu Henner remembers every time Danza washed his hands on the set of Taxi?
Filed under It's gross., Saved by the Bell, Who's the Boss?
Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: Detention Center
Before we get to tonight’s Idol, we’re going to continue with our Saved by the Bell themed Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day, this time working with the familiar search term “community anthony michael hall.” But, once again, we’re going to put a Bayside twist on this, and to do so, let’s play a little word, or concept, association. Where does Community take place? Well, at a community college, of course. And what’s a broader word for “college?” How about “school?” Sure, school. And when we think of Anthony Michael Hall and school what comes to mind? The Breakfast Club, of course! And where does that movie chronicle? A day of detention! And where have we also seen a day of detention? Why, in the Saved by the Bell season episode literally titled “Day of Detention.” Boom! Six degrees of Saved by the Bell.
So, now, as you might have guessed, here’s a brief but colorful clip from that memorable day:
And, remember, don’t confuse this episode with “Senior Cut Day.” It’s an easy mistake.
‘Survivor: Redemption Island’ Premiere: Amateur Hour (Director’s Cut)
This season we’ll be taking our ‘Survivor’ recapping talents to Gawker TV. However, we’re going to also offer expanded, “Director’s Cut” recaps on this blog. So here we go. Day One.
The challenge for Survivor: Redemption Island is going to be keeping us interested in anyone not named Boston Rob or Russell Hantz. Our fear going into the premiere was that the presence of these veterans would overshadow the new Survivors. However, for one episode at least, we got just enough Boston Rob and Russell while also introducing some intriguing new cast members. We’re not entirely convinced that there are any personalities that can match up to the two masterminds, but judging from an explosive, unbelievable, train wreck of a first Tribal Council, we’re in for a season of crackpots and fireworks.
But, before we get there: helicopters! And Probst just enjoying the feel of the cool Nicaragua air hitting his face.
Muppet Monday: We’d Like to Forget This
This doesn’t thrill us. In fact, we don’t like this at all. But we feel like we’re kind of obligated to acknowledge its existence.
But thank goodness Cee Lo wasn’t backed by Kermit or Fozzie or The Electric Mayhem or any other significant Muppet. That would have been a bitter pill to swallow. No bigtime Muppet of mine should ever collaborate with Gwyneth Paltrow.
Filed under It's gross., Muppet Mondays, Muppets
Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: What a Croc
One of our favorite pastimes on this blog is noting the preponderance of Crocs on Top Chef, so it wasn’t surprising to see today’s search term, “top chef crocs.” But this All-Stars season has been disappointingly devoid of the rubber footwear (as well as tattoos, which had become a recent Top Chef signature look). But luckily Season 9 court jester Angelo has provided us a worthy substitute.
As we touched on yesterday, in last week’s food meets fashion Quickfire challenge Angelo did his best to make pineapple skin look like a crocodile skin purse. Unfortunately, Angelo ran into two problems, 1) it looked disgusting, and b) he doesn’t know how to spell “crocodile.” Sorry, Angelo; the first rule of Top Chef is you don’t talk about Top Chef; the second rule is that you know how to spell crocodile. The third rule of Top Chef is that you don’t tell Issac Mizrahi that Roberto Cavalli is your favorite designer.
Sorry, Angelo! No better luck next time!
Oh, and just for kicks:
Filed under Gratuitous Search Term Bait, It's gross., Top Scallop
Yesterday in Today: Terrifying Taboo
It wasn’t enough for The Black Eyed Peas’ Taboo to terrify us during the Super Bowl half-time show (which was on the whole a terrifying experience), but he had to then go ahead and come on Today and terrify us even more. Another request we never wanted to hear from Kathie Lee or Hoda: “Show us some moves!’
We’d like to make a joke here that Kathie Lee was wasted, but we know that was actually the case because it was after 10am on a Tuesday.
Fun Taboo Fact: Not only is he part Shoshone, but he also has albinism (or so Wikipedia said three days ago, with that reference now removed).
Filed under Good with Coffee, It's gross., Today in Today
Today in ‘Today’: Kathie Lee & Hoda’s Beach Party; This Doesn’t Make Us Feel Any Warmer, It Just Makes Us Angry
Well, the good news is that clips from the 4th hour of Today are becoming a daily tradition. The bad news is that today they offered us a special episode, “Kathie Lee and Hoda’s Beach Party,” an ill-conceived attempt to warm us up in the midst of this deep, ceaseless freeze. Something we never ever wanted to hear? Hoda demanding that Kathie Lee “Get it off.”
Also, it’s one thing to have a drink or two during the show, but we think it’s totally unprofessional be wasted by 10am, before your show even starts.
(of course, those rules don’t apply to Sue, because a) her show does not tape before noon, and b) she can handle her liquor (usually).)
Kinda stretching the definition of “news,” aren’t you, ladies?
Filed under Good with Coffee, It's gross., Today in Today
Jumped The Snark 