Monthly Archives: February 2011

Valentine’s Day: Zack and Kelly’s European Vacation

Happy Valentine’s Day!  As usual, Jumped the Snark is going to live vicariously through Zack and Kelly, a love for the ages.  But even though Zack and Kelly eventually ended up together, we always felt that Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Tiffani Thiessen were destined to emulate their on-screen love. If we couldn’t have Thiessen, then the next best thing, really the only other acceptable outcome, would have been Gosselaar winning her.  But, alas, they went their separate ways, and found love elsewhere.  But there was a brief window at the end of Saved by the Bell when they did date and for that brief time, at least, everything was perfect.

Somehow this YouTube user found photos from Gosselaar’s and Thiessen’s European vacation (we’re going to assume/hope it wasn’t by going through their personal photo albums), and the chemistry between the two is undeniable.  While this is a record of a romance that didn’t make it, it’s better to have loved and lost Tiffani Thiessen than to have never loved Tiffani Thiessen at all.

Some things can be too good, and we understand that now.

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Filed under Lady Holiday, Saved by the Bell

Parting Shot: Heaven on Earth

image

I’ll take 4 please.

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Filed under Local Flavor, Parting Shot

Kieran’s Mom’s Korner: Kieran’s Mom Weighs-In on the Rise and Fall of ‘SNL’

Yesterday we posted a new ‘Kieran’s Korner’ with Kieran’s thoughts on the recent ‘SNL’ hosted by Dana Carvey.  We figured we’d get some real wisdom, some genuine perspective.  And we did.  But now we have a special treat, some observations about the show from an even wiser, more experienced source.  Ladies and gentlemen, we’re proud to present the first (and hopefully not last) ‘Kieran’s Mom’s Korner’:

I have some thoughts on SNL.  I think it took a wrong turn when they changed the closing music from something with lots of saxophones to something lighter.

Also, I never liked that sketch with “I hate when that happens.”
But some of the early stuff with Dan Akroyd, Bill Murray, Gilda Radner and even Chevy Chase was brilliant.

Love,
Mum

Well it seems that Carvey got at least one thing right last week: everyone does have their own favorite cast.

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Filed under Makes You Think, Saturday Night Live, Weigh-in

Russell vs. Rob: Less Than a Week

Get ready.  They are.

Now go over to Entertainment Weekly to witness Russell and Boston Rob’s very first meeting in Nicaragua.

Rob looks scared, doesn’t he?  He should be.

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, Freak Out Control, Impatience, Internet Killed the Print Media Star, Tribal Council

Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day: What a Croc

One of our favorite pastimes on this blog is noting the preponderance of Crocs on Top Chef, so it wasn’t surprising to see today’s search term, “top chef crocs.”  But this All-Stars season has been disappointingly devoid of the rubber footwear (as well as tattoos, which had become a recent Top Chef signature look).  But luckily Season 9 court jester Angelo has provided us a worthy substitute.

As we touched on yesterday, in last week’s food meets fashion Quickfire challenge Angelo did his best to make pineapple skin look like a crocodile skin purse.  Unfortunately, Angelo ran into two problems, 1) it looked disgusting, and b) he doesn’t know how to spell “crocodile.”  Sorry, Angelo; the first rule of Top Chef is you don’t talk about Top Chef; the second rule is that you know how to spell crocodile.  The third rule of Top Chef is that you don’t tell Issac Mizrahi that Roberto Cavalli is your favorite designer.

Sorry, Angelo!  No better luck next time!

Oh, and just for kicks:

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Filed under Gratuitous Search Term Bait, It's gross., Top Scallop

‘Saved by the Bell’ Season 4!

Season 4, as per the DVDs.  Basically a lot of episodes that are square pegs in round holes, but arguably some of the show’s best.  Certainly several of our favorites.  Here we go, guys!

3:42pm, Season 4, Disc 1, Episode 1: “SAT’s”

01:41: The SAT’s episode!

01:55: Probably the most frequent nugget of Saved by the Bell trivia is “What was Zack’s SAT score?”

2:25: Kelly, no talking!  That’s cheating!

02:35: I don’t think they had any trains traveling in opposite directions word problems on the SATs.  This episode is just riddled with inaccuracies.

02:40: Ladies and gentleman, Mrs. Ben Stiller, Christine Taylor!

Still to come: Desert Springs, Johnny Dakota and Zack Attack!

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Filed under Bob Loblaw, Fashion Show at Lunch, Masochism, Nostalgia Corner, Saved by the Bell, Saved by the Bell Project, Seinlanguage

Kieran’s Korner: Another Look at ‘SNL,’ Dana Carvey and “The Best Cast Ever”

Even before we finished our analysis of last weekend’s Dana Carvey hosted ‘Saturday Night Live’ we had no doubt that this particular episode, this particular crossroads, required additional insight.  Perhaps, more than ever, a Kieran’s Korner was needed.  As you know, we consider Kieran our elder statesmen when it comes to ‘SNL’ knowledge and personal experience, our very own living, breathing, sweater vest-wearing ‘Live From New York.’  To some degree, the Carvey years, ’86-’93, were always nostalgia to us; we were practically an infant when Carvey debuted, and thus only began to appreciate his talent towards the end of his tenure, largely because of the runaway success of ‘Wayne’s World.’  Our first time seeing the show live came just after Carvey’s exit, the final seasons of Farley and Sandler, and indeed we didn’t become regular viewers until the great cast turnover of 1995 (and, to be fair, like Kieran, we initially didn’t care for that group funny).  So while the Will Ferrell era was the first cast we became intimately familiar with, watched week in and week out, the Carvey period came during Kieran’s formative years.  We knew then that any effect the last episode had on us, there was a good chance that feeling would only be amplified for Kieran.  So we turned to Kieran for his special brand of wisdom, to discover his reaction considering his similar but much more personal relationship with ’86-’93 .  And, as usual, he obliged.

Speaking of the death of childhood, let me tell you about the flood of negative emotions I experienced watching the first episode of the 21st season of Saturday Night Live.

The date was September 30, 1995 and I was twenty-three years old. Mariel Hemingway was the host. There was an interminable sketch where Will Ferrell yelled at some kids who were, evidently, on a shed. Filmed pieces included a rather pallid spoof commercial for a “morning” beer named AM Ale. Against better judgment, Mark McKinney tried to import his Chicken Lady character from The Kids in the Hall.

I didn’t laugh.

Continue: Kieran’s Korner or: How Kieran Learned to Stop Worrying and Love ’95-’01. And a hindsight look back at Carvey’s auspicious beginnings…

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Filed under Fashion Show at Lunch, Kieran's Korner, Nostalgia Corner, Saturday Night Live

Gratuitious Search Term Bait of the Day: D3

No, we’re not talking about the Mighty Ducks 3 (although we kind of wish we were), but rather the upcoming third season of Adult Swim’s Delocated, as today’s search term is “will there be a delocated season 3.”  Well, kids, as we reported last month, the answer is YES!  Shooting starts this spring and hopefully we’ll see new episodes before the end of the year.  But we’re happy to offer you a special exclusive behind the scenes look inside the Delocated Season 3 writers’ room:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

And more good news: Delocated creator and star Jon Glaser’s new book My Dead Dad was in ZZ Top was released yesterday.  The book, a collection of “100% Real,* Never Before Seen Documents from the World of Rock and Roll,” is inspired by one of Glaser’s live bits, the act that gives the book its title.  Glaser celebrated the release of the book at Brooklyn’s The Bell House last night with readings from the likes of John Hodgman, Scott Adsit, Paul Rudd and Jon Hamm.  Here’s Rudd delivering one of the book’s entries, complete with his best Jay Leno impression:

Do yourself a favor and pick up the book.  Makes the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for that special someone.

*Not real.

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Filed under Best Show You're Not Watching, Good Humor, Good News!, Gratuitous Search Term Bait, Literarally, Local Flavor, Mancrush

Yesterday in Today: Terrifying Taboo

It wasn’t enough for The Black Eyed Peas’ Taboo to terrify us during the Super Bowl half-time show (which was on the whole a terrifying experience), but he had to then go ahead and come on Today and terrify us even more.  Another request we never wanted to hear from Kathie Lee or Hoda: “Show us some moves!’

We’d like to make a joke here that Kathie Lee was wasted, but we know that was actually the case because it was after 10am on a Tuesday.

Fun Taboo Fact: Not only is he part Shoshone, but he also has albinism (or so Wikipedia said three days ago, with that reference now removed).

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Filed under Good with Coffee, It's gross., Today in Today

Last Week on ‘Top Chef:’ Take the Primi, Leave the Antipast

Continuing our tradition of quickly recapping the last Top Chef just before the new episode airs, here are a few quick thoughts on last week’s Italian-themed entry:

– Angelo has a crush on guest judge Issac Mizrahi and literally says “Two of my most passionate things are definitely food, first and foremost, and then fashion.”

– Everyone definitely thinks Angelo is a joke (including Issac Mizrahi)

You're a joke

– Carla finally gets to mention how she used to be a model and got to go to France.  Good for you, Carla!

– We get it, Dale.  You have a girlfriend.

– Professor Ricky Blaise wins the quick fire!  For making black ice cream!  Looks good enough to eat!

– The elimination challenge is to cook one of the three main courses at the legendary NYC Italian restaurant Rao’s.

– Mike Isabella, who’s an Italian from New Jersey is like, “I got this.”

– Antonia, who’s an Italian from Los Angeles is like, “No, I got this.”

– Fabio, who’s an Italian from Italy is like, “Um, guys, I’m from Italy.  Is this even fair?  It is?  Really?  Okay, well I’ll just make this chicken dish that’s my grandmother’s recipe and is on the menu on my restaurant and I probably make it a dozen times a night.”

– Lorraine Bracco is a guest judge, because of course she is.

– Then the food is served.  The antipasti is loved by all.  But the pasta course is a disaster:

The rest: Mike Isabella needs an easier mac. And the loser!

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, Fashion Show at Lunch, The State, Top Scallop