We wouldn’t be doing our job if we didn’t bring you all the news about any injuries or medical issues concerning Regis. We were there when he announced his hip surgery, and when he nearly gave Meryl Streep a coronary. And we’re here now (albeit, slightly late) for his latest malady, as he recently sliced his hand with a box cutter, requiring upwards of four (!) stitches. And to make matters worse, he went back to the ER to get his stitches out (why he went to the ER to have stitches removed, and not somewhere more appropriate, like anywhere else in the hospital, we’ll never know) and they said it was too soon. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
Meanwhile, while being careful not to steal Reege’s “disability thunder,” Kelly is nursing a hip injury of her own, no doubt caused by all these years of carrying Regis (NAILED IT!). So this just goes to prove, once again, that Regis is mid-morning talk’s foremost sadomasochist, and no one around him is safe. NO ONE (Gelman).
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