Category Archives: Interweb

2011/01/11 · 7:40 pm

Speaking of Robots, Did Stephen Colbert Rip Us Off?

We were hoping to make today an all robot-themed day (because 1.11.11 is like binary code, and that’s like robots, right?), but we weren’t sure where to take it.  Then we got a tip from Jumped the Snark BFF Steve Ponzo informing us that Stephen Colbert has been tweeting about the Fox Sports Robot, a hardworking machine who has long been the object of our affection.  Is Colbert cribbing from our notes?

Behold, a tweet from our personal account posted over Thanksgiving:

And a tweet from Colbert published earlier today:

Now we take offense to this for a number of reasons.  First, Stephen, buddy, let us have this one.  We don’t go around trying to get our portrait into the Smithsonian.  Secondly, “safest job in showbiz?”  We think not.  Not only did the Robot have to work on Thanksgiving, he also had to punch the clock during the great Blizzard of 2010.  We hardly call that “safe.”  And, finally, we object to Colbert’s tweet purely out of jealousy.  His comment is retweeted by 100+ people, earning the rank of “Top Tweet,” and our observation fails to garner a single mention; where’s the justice in that?  We think our tweet is just as good, if not better.  Don’t you agree?

Well, Stephen, I think the only way to settle this is to have us on the Report.  We’ll be waiting for your call.  Let’s bring on this guy too:

(and feel free to follow Seth on Twitter!)

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Filed under Interweb, Matt Christopher Books, Other people's stuff, Rip-off, Robots, You Decide

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2011/01/06 · 2:12 pm

Wait, So How Much is a Full-Price Pair of Bonobos?

If we’re getting $50 off our first pair of Bonobos (great name, guys), then we have to imagine that the final cost would be “they owe us $10,” right?  Seriously, how expensive could a pair of pants called “Bonobos” be?

Well, then again, they were named “Best Men’s Pants” by NY Magazine, so we’re sure they’re totally worth it.

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Filed under Interweb, Makes You Think

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2011/01/05 · 6:14 pm

Don’t Abuse Facebook Questions, Okay?

First, we freely admit that Facebook Questions is an asinine feature of a site that is continuously populating itself with unnecessary clutter.  But still, unless your sole purpose is to shame Facebook Questions into submission, don’t ask questions like these.  “Why do people watch Lost?”  That’s like asking a writer “Where do you get your ideas?”  Why do we watch Lost?  We just do, OKAY?! And the second question, “How did LOST end?,” c’mon!  You have enough motivation to post a question on Facebook about the subject, but not enough to just find the last episode online?  Or simply Google the answer?  That couldn’t take more than twelve seconds.

What is this world coming to?  We guess Armageddon is coming.

Whatever you do, DON’T ANSWER!  We’ve gone ahead and given this enough legitimacy as it is.

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Filed under Interweb, LOST, The Worst

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2011/01/03 · 2:19 pm

Mupppet Monday: People Eyes, They’re Watching You

With the new Muppet movie just 11 months away, we already know that 2011 is going to be a HUGE year for the Muppets, perhaps their biggest in three decades.  But one intrepid tumblr-er is already getting the ball rolling with the creepy good Muppets with People Eyes:

That one actually kind of works.  Cookie Monster probably should have hazier eyes.

So how long until we see “People with Muppet Eyes?”  You can have that one if you want, provided we see 10% of any profits.

Or how about “Hall & Oates with Muppet Eyes?”

We think Sesame Street just found their new viral hit.

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Filed under Bert-n-Ernie, Interweb, Muppet Mondays, Muppets, Other people's stuff

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2011/01/03 · 1:55 pm

Don’t Try to Exploit My Love of Veronica Mars, Facebook

Don’t.  Just don’t.

Shameless indeed.

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Filed under Interweb, Mars Investigations

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2011/01/03 · 1:45 pm

A New Year, A New Milestone, A New Goal, and Truffaut

Good 2011, guys!  Thanks for coming back.

Before we jump right back into the swing of things (with, no doubt, our most successful year yet), we just wanted to take a second to take the temperature of this blog, see where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’re going.

In early 2010 we set the goal of 365 posts in 365 days.  Well…that didn’t happen.  But the benefit of setting the bar high is that even when you fail, you can still be proud of what you’ve accomplished.  And we are proud of our 2010, drafting 260 new posts (so, if you average that out, we posted just about once per weekday, which is a decent pace.  Good job, us!).  Even more impressive, and reassuring, is that in the last four months, when we were finally able to spend more time with this blog, we uploaded about 180 posts.  And that was with the holidays and a week vacation (and a blizzard).  So, if we can keep that up, 365 in 365 should be a reality in 2011.  Unless we get drafted.

In addition to an encouraging 2010, we’re happy to announce that we’ve made it to 400 posts!  After a really slow start, we sprinted from 300 to 400 in just a matter of months.  At that clip, 500 will not be far behind.  And you can expect that celebration to be a BLOW OUT.

And what else can you expect in 2011?  Well, we need to do more than just meet our personal challenge from last year.  First off, we hope to eclipse our single busiest day, which actually happened a year ago this Thursday (apparently people really wanted to read about The State that day).  Secondly, we hope to get the Jumped the Snark name out on other sites, a mission we’ve already begun with our recent Tony Danza piece.  And, thirdly, we hope to roll out a series of new weekly and semi-regular features like “Classic Survivor Clip” and “Reginald VelJohnson in a Uniform.”  We have a lot of ideas, a lot of ambition, and a lot of free time.  Let’s make 2011 the year that Jumped the Snark FINALLY overtakes Facebook.

In honor of reaching 400 posts, please enjoy a clip from Francios Traffaut’s coming-of-age classic The 400 Blows:

Jumped the Snark: the only place where you’ll find French New Wave Cinema AND 90s-era Nickelodeon.

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Filed under Count Bleh, Interweb

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2010/12/16 · 12:17 pm

Best News: Regis Resolves to Learn “Twittering” in 2011

Or so he claims during this interview with Paul Rudd from yesterday’s Live!.  This excites us immensely, especially if Larry King’s Tweet output is going to diminish  once he wraps out of Larry King Live (which is tonight, incidentally).  Of course, knowing Regis, his attempts to Tweet will likely involve him punching random buttons on a microwave, trying to complain about how the 2011 Yankees don’t hold a candle to the 1911 squad.

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Filed under Good with Coffee, Interweb, Mancrush, Reeeeeege

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2010/11/30 · 7:17 pm

Don’t Tease Me, Amazon

Listen, Amazon, when you tell me that Grinders are up to 40% off I’m obviously going to excited.  Sure, we prefer to use the term “sub” or “hero” here, but I’m not going to get picky when it comes overstuffed sandwiches at discount prices.  So imagine my disappointment:

What a shame.  Would have been such a great sale.  Could have done all my holiday shopping right there.

Next time, take a cue from Jon:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

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Filed under Count Bleh, Interweb

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2010/11/17 · 2:59 pm

You’re on Thin Ice, Amazon

First, you willingly sell a guide to pedophilia, incurring the considerable wrath of Anderson Cooper, and now you’ve gotten on our bad side with your latest “recommendation”:

Really?  You think we’re interested in Zumba Fitness.  No.

We will not be joining the party.  And we do not want to learn more.

That’s two strikes, Amazon.  Not a good place to be right before the holiday season.  We could just as easily order our nephews’ Christmas presents from Toysrus.com.  Don’t forget that.

Zumba Fitness.  Really?

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Filed under Commodore 64, Count Bleh, Interweb

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2010/11/12 · 6:57 pm

You’ve Made a Powerful Enemy, Amazon (It’s Anderson Cooper)

We’ve had our beefs with Amazon for incorrectly, and sometimes insultingly, suggesting products that we may be interested in, or for misleading us about shipping times.  But that’s nothing like the offense Anderson Cooper has (rightfully) taken to Amazon for selling  a guide to pedophilia.  Last week Cooper tore apart a rookie congresswoman, this week he takes on an Internet giant.

When the Anderson Cooper train is coming through GET OFF THE TRACKS!

Advantage: Cooper (duh).

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Filed under Count Bleh, Interweb, Mancrush

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