Daily Archives: 2012/06/20

Today in ‘Today’: Reege is a Zombie

For years now Regis Philbin has been on a path of destruction, an unstoppable wave of violence that not only has counted many victims, but has also been self-directed, from box-cutter wounds to hip replacement.  And today on Today, sitting in for Hoda, Regis admitted that he finally finished the job, doing what God himself couldn’t do.

But, then, if Regis off’d himself how could he be co-hosting the 4th hour, perfunctorily sipping what looked to be a gin-based drink?  Well, there’s only one answer: he’s a zombie.  Why else would he so readily believe in vampires?

Notice the look of shock and horror on Kathie Lee’s face, truly, genuinely unsure if Reege is kidding or officially senile.  We’d be tempted to give KLG points here, if she didn’t conclude that of the two guests it’s Benjamin Walker who plays the title role in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter based on the length of his legs, and not because between him and Anthony Mackie he’s the only white one.

One thing is for sure, Reege has officially crossed the line from lovable old curmudgeon to Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino.  For the full final hour of Today, it just seemed like Regis was really pissed that all these strangers were on his lawn.

Wednesday Winesday, y’all!

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Filed under God Laughs, Huh?, Reeeeeege, Today in Today

Capital Critters: Experiencing DC Vu on the New York Sports Pages

Last week the New York Yankees headed down to D.C. for an interleague matchup with the Nationals, just a week after the Mets also visited the nation’s capital to take on their division rivals.  Now we’re generally enormous Mets fans, but this year our enthusiasm is even more fervent than usual, with a roster that’s featured thus far an especially young, gritty and fun team, a Mets team we’re proud to watch.  And not only do we watch religiously, we also spend far too much time following Mets beat reporters on Twitter, obsessively checking the Mets blog, and reading articles by local sports columnists.  So with the amount of attention we grant to NY baseball, we couldn’t help but notice some similarities on the city’s back pages when the Mets and Yankees each took a turn against the Nationals.

It’s not out of the ordinary to see two very similar headlines among the city’s big three commuter papers (and sometimes three similar headlines), but those instances usually occur on the same day, when they can point to the rapid speed of overnight journalism as a reason for the doppelgänger.  When you have three hours to turn around a newspaper, and, often, much less time to write and set the back page, it’s not surprising that the Post may print the same or a very similar headline as Newsday (like yesterday, for example) – great journalistic minds think alike – but in the triad above the Newsday super-headline was printed the day after the Daily News‘s “Capital Pains” headline (and after a different but still excruciating Mets loss).  The Post headline, “Capital Gains,” came nearly a week later (after the Yankees handed the Mets three more excruciating losses), so certainly there was plenty of time to see the two prior “Capital” back pages and brainstorm some other DC-related copy.  But, we reckon, in the newspaper world you just can’t turn down a good pun.  And we respect that.

And just because:

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Filed under Local Flavor, Look-Alikes, Matt Christopher Books, MS Paint, Periodically