Category Archives: Brilliance

Twenty years later, Home Alone is quickly becoming one of our all-time favorite  movies.  What’s interesting is that now we enjoy the middle section just as much (if  not more) than the third act battle between Kevin and the Wet Bandits (the defense of the McCallister house was infinitely more appealing to a 7-year-old).   These days we’re more interested in how Kevin confronts life in the absence of his family, under the assumption that he must now fend for himself.  Once buzz of  jumping on the bed and the eating bowl after bowl of ice cream and going through Buzz’s stuff wears off, Kevin realizes he needs to be the man of the house.   Never has a kid grown up quicker.  Like this scene when he pays for groceries with a coupon no less! (fun fact: we’ve always kind of had a crush on the check out girl.  Just liked her skeptical yet caring tone.  So, Tracy J. Conor, when you no doubt read this, know that your work has not gone unnoticed).

But our least favorite part of the film is that Kevin doesn’t have a chance to find out if those microwave dinners are any good.  As you all remember, he prepares the mac and cheese, but before he can sample the “nutritious meal” the clock strikes eight and he quickly runs off to get ready for the impending attack.  That always bothered us.  Take a fucking bite, dude!  Would it slow you down that much?  Would the timing of Angels With Filthy Souls have been thrown off entirely?  Would one little taste have doomed the blow torch booby trap?  C’mon man, just shovel in one forkful.  Just one!  You need your energy.

Also, maybe Kevin would wave to Old Man Marley if he didn’t look like a deranged psychopath.  Maybe lose the beard and the coat.

But outside of those two minor objections, just a heck of a film.

And have yourself a Merry Little Christmas!