Quick one today! Check out a featurette about Being Elmo, an upcoming documentary about Kevin Clash, better known as the puppeteer behind the little red Muppet monster (also known as the voice of Splinter in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films). As much as we resent Elmo for obscuring the other Muppets on Sesame Street (and, to some extent, watering down the show’s material), we most certainly respect Clash’s body of work.
And we also respect the filmmakers for resisting the urge to title their documentary Tickle Me: The Kevin Clash Story.
We recently had the pleasure of viewing Die Hard for the very first time (seriously!) and we were struck by a number of things. For example, it’s really, really good, Bruce Willis had a lot more hair; Alan Rickman is super creepy; you can totally see its influence on Community‘s paintball episode; and the late 80s were a weird time when computer screens only broadcast in two colors, green and black. But perhaps our biggest takeaway was this: Reginald VelJohnson sure does play a lot of cops and other uniformed personnel. And with that small thought, that tiny light bulb, was birthed yet another Jumped the Snark semi-regular feature. So, without anymore hesitation, our first installment of the “Reginald VelJohnson in Uniform Moment of the Week:”
Twenty years later, Home Alone is quickly becoming one of our all-time favorite movies. What’s interesting is that now we enjoy the middle section just as much (if not more) than the third act battle between Kevin and the Wet Bandits (the defense of the McCallister house was infinitely more appealing to a 7-year-old). These days we’re more interested in how Kevin confronts life in the absence of his family, under the assumption that he must now fend for himself. Once buzz of jumping on the bed and the eating bowl after bowl of ice cream and going through Buzz’s stuff wears off, Kevin realizes he needs to be the man of the house. Never has a kid grown up quicker. Like this scene when he pays for groceries with a coupon no less! (fun fact: we’ve always kind of had a crush on the check out girl. Just liked her skeptical yet caring tone. So, Tracy J. Conor, when you no doubt read this, know that your work has not gone unnoticed).
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But our least favorite part of the film is that Kevin doesn’t have a chance to find out if those microwave dinners are any good. As you all remember, he prepares the mac and cheese, but before he can sample the “nutritious meal” the clock strikes eight and he quickly runs off to get ready for the impending attack. That always bothered us. Take a fucking bite, dude! Would it slow you down that much? Would the timing of Angels With Filthy Souls have been thrown off entirely? Would one little taste have doomed the blow torch booby trap? C’mon man, just shovel in one forkful. Just one! You need your energy.
Also, maybe Kevin would wave to Old Man Marley if he didn’t look like a deranged psychopath. Maybe lose the beard and the coat.
But outside of those two minor objections, just a heck of a film.
The Greatest Muppet Movie Ever Made casting news just doesn’t seem to stop. Last week were ecstatic to report that Paul Rudd is on board (along with Jon Krasinksi, Ed Helms and Jack Black among others), now comes word that Billy Crystal, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Alan Arkin have agreed to cameo (although, if we had our choice of Alans we’d prefer Alan Alda. Actually, our first pick would be Bill Hader as Alan Alda. But with Hader’s Apatow/Segel ties – roles in Knocked Up, Superbad, Pineapple Express and Forgetting Sarah Marshall– it’s probably only a matter of time before he’s on board).
But with the deluge of casting news – it seems like nearly all of young Hollywood is going to pop up in the film – there remains one name we’ve yet to see, one actor who would truly make The Greatest Muppet Movie Ever Made the greatest Muppet Movie Ever Made. We’re talking, of course, of…
Charles Grodin, DUH!
Before all is said and done, Will Ferrell, Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Michael Cera, Jack McBrayer, Tony Danza, Chi McBride, Michael J. Fox, Johnny Knoxville, Scott Wolf, Tom Hanks, Tina Yothers, Alan Thicke Jason Bateman, Bobby DeNiro and a host of others might pop up in the film. But, Grodin, that would be the big get, and he’d really bring this thing full circle.
Well, there’s more than just Muppet movie casting news these days. No, what we’re getting now are actual photos from The Greatest Muppet Movie Ever Made, and not just promo shots of Jason Segel and the gang, but photos from the set. Behold, the Henson Company Studios in Hollywood transformed into Muppet Studios, a once thriving studio that has fallen into disrepair. It’ll be Segel’s character Gary, and his roommate, the new Muppet Walter, who ostensibly rally the Muppets to reunite and revive the studio.
(one of our greatest regrets from our time living in LA is not trying to take a tour Henson Studios, or at the very least stopping at the gate on La Brea Ave and attempting to bribe the guard with pepperoni pizza).
Don’t forget, Scarlett Johansson returns to Studio 8H for her third hosting turn this weekend. Inevitably, there will be some variation on this sketch (but if Ryan Reynolds pops up again, we won’t complain):
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Did you know that, according to IMDB, ScarJo’s first credited role was as Laura in the 1994 Elijah Wood “family film” North? In his review of that movie, Roger Ebert said “I hated this movie. Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it,” and then later on Siskel & Ebert remarked, “I hate this movie as much as any movie we’ve ever reviewed on the 19 years we’ve been doing this show.” So, you know, check your local listings!
We assume. Because for the second time in three issues Entertainment Weekly features a Muppet a full color Muppet photo across two pages. The first appeared in the recent “Reunions” issue, a Muppet Show cast photo, and the new issue of the magazine offers the first glimpse of the gang (along with Jason Segel) in their upcoming return to the big screen, The Greatest Muppet Movie Ever Made.
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The image also presents our first look at Walter, a new tech-savvy, young Muppet who reportedly plays Segel’s roommate in the film. He could also possibly be Guy Smiley’s illegitimate son.
One concerning omission in the photo: Pepe the Prawn is nowhere to be found. He doesn’t appear in the first photo, but that was appropriate because he joined the Muppets many years after the Muppet Show (for the Muppet Show redux Muppets Tonight), but he’s arguably been the most popular Muppet of the past 10 years or so, and the only new Muppet since the Muppet Show to truly become a core member of the Muppet troupe. It’s probably just an innocent mistake, but until we see another two-page spread in the Christmas issue, we’ll be holding our breath.
Well, not quite. But during a recent appearance on Howard Stern’s Sirius radio show, Stern did ask Joel if he had read Michael Ian Black‘s essay “What I Would Be Thinking About If I Were Billy Joel Driving Towards A Holiday Party Where I Knew There Was Going To Be A Piano” (from his delightful anthology, My Custom Van, now available in paperback), so it’s almost as if they collaborated. Sure, Joel hadn’t read or even heard of the essay, but now he knows about it, and we’re sure if he did read it he’d agree with every word (we think he’d also particularly enjoy the essay “Why I Used a Day-Glo Magic Marker to Color My Dick Yellow”).
Beyond the brief discussion about Black’s essay and Joel’s actual experience of going to party and finding out he’s supposed to be the entertainment, it’s a thoroughly enjoyable interview that delves into Joel’s personal past, and also goes in depth about Joel’s new concert film/documentary Last Play at Shea.
So that makes it Billy Joel, Michael Ian Black, and the Mets all in one conversation! That’s like Christmas for a Long Island Jew Comedy Nerd! Mazel Tov!
Okay, not quite (as far as we know, Fozzie is NOT holding out), but the word from Mr. Galifianakis himself is that he will be popping up in The Greatest Muppet Movie Ever Made. This comes on the heels of the news that Rashida Jones, Amy Adams and Chris Cooper are joining the cast of the Jason Segel/Nicholas Stoller penned film. Still waiting on Paul Rudd, but we can only imagine it’s only a matter of time. And now that Galifiankis is on board, this opens up the whole Todd Phillips corner of the Judd Apatow Chart. Will Ferrell, Owen Wilson, Tom Green, they are all now in play.
But, just in case Fozzie does decide to play same hardball, what do you think?
Jumped The Snark 