We’re happy to premiere an all-new feature here on Jumped the Snark, “Great 10-Second Moments in Cinematic History,” where we post some of the greatest scenes, quotes, exchanges and glances from movies past, all ten seconds or less (and when we refer to cinematic history, keep in mind we’re talking about our cinematic history, which might differ slightly from a certain Roger Ebert’s (for example, we liked Wet Hot American Summerright out of the gate).
So, now, with a memorable but perhaps unheralded clip from Wayne’s World, we debut Great 10-Second Moments in Cinematic History:
We’ve been dogged busy at work the last couple months, and have not only neglected this blog but also most pop culture news, viral videos, recent interviews, season premieres, breaking stories, and new music. However, when we discovered the existence of the first trailer for the new Muppets movie, we dropped everything. We made time. In fact, we made a general announcement that we were taking a two-minute break from our immediate responsibilities to enjoy the tease of a teaser. And enjoy we did.
And they must have also enjoyed it because they went ahead and put together another trailer steeped in the same kind of misdirection. Ladies and gentlemen, The Muppets teaser #2:
It’s been a long, long, too long time since we brought you a Muppet Monday, but this was the one we were waiting for, the one we couldn’t deny. After months – and years – of anticipation, the trailer for The Muppets arrived, delivering a teaser in the truest sense of the word. And while our excitement level for this film couldn’t have already been any higher, this trailer provided us with something greater than excitement: confidence. If the brilliance, whimsy, and poise demonstrated in the teaser is any indication, than we have nothing to worry about come Thanksgiving 2011.
If we weren’t so sick of this rain and the mild temperatures, then we’d say that we can’t wait until November. But, then again, why rush this?
Legendary director Sidney Lumet passed away this past weekend at the age of 86. Although he was long-known as one of Hollywood’s most prolific and talented directors, helming such masterworks as Dog Day Afternoon, Twelve Angry Men and Network, thanks to Vin Diesel we remember hms best for one of his later films, Find Me Guilty. Unfortunately, because of Mr. XXX, we’ll never be able to hear the name “Sidney Lumet” and not think of ice cream.
We guess Making Movies didn’t include a section about how to vary your stories for talk show appearances.
We’ve seen the trailer for Take Me Home Tonightthree or four times and we still don’t get it. What is the point of this movie? What year is it? Doesn’t this movie belong in 1988? Why would we want to see this movie without (the late) Corey Haim? And, even then, without Corey Feldman we’re not interested. What could this movie possibly add to the one-wild-and-crazy-life-changing-drug-and-sex-filled-night genre? And we generally adore Topher Grace, so it’s hard for us to be so down on this one.
We’ll likely never be able to agree on an answer to that question. Some will say yes. Some will say no. Some will say it’s truly funny, but not the first. Some will say it’s a manipulative attempt to xerox The Hangover using female toner. Some will argue it finally let’s women in on the fun. Some will suggest that it shows that women can only be considered funny when they’re acting like men. Some will label it fresh, groundbreaking. Some will call it conventional, reactionary. Some will hail it, praise it. Other will denounce it, chastise it. And that will probably all take place before opening weekend.
What we do know is that Bridesmaids looks really good. We’ve made no secret of generally abhorring Kristen Wiig’s characters on SNL (in fact, we’d have to say our favorite Wiig character is the one she plays during the goodnights), but she’s been terrific in movies so far (stole her scenes in Knocked Up, was great in Adventureland and was arguably the best part of MacGruber), is phenomenally talented, and not unkind on the eyes. We’ve also been saying for some time now that it’s time for her to make the permanent jump to the big screen, and it looks like Bridesmaids is going to accelerate the process. Although this is an ensemble, Wiig co-wrote the film and is the star, so if the flick is a hit we might be looking at Hollywood’s newest female star, one of the few women capable of carrying a comedy on her lithe shoulders.
Also, judging from the trailer, it seems like this could be Melissa McCarthy’s breakout role, getting many of the best, most outrageous lines. Looks like we might have to go back and revise her entry in our Jenny McCarthy Show post!
But with the shock wave that this trailer sent through the blogosphere we have to wonder: have we already entered the Bridesmaids blacklash phase? Or are we already into the backlash to the backlash?
Oh, and this movie just means more work for the Judd Apatow chart.
Die Hard 2 (Die Harder) was pretty disappointing on all fronts, basically a Die Hard rip-off in the vein of the later Die Hard on a boat andDie Hard in a tunnel and Die Hard on a zeppelin copycats that would densely populate the 90s, as opposed to a worthy follow-up to the original. But most dismaying was the severely diminished presence of Mr. Reginald VelJohnson, who undoubtedly stole the show as Sgt. Al Powell in the first film. He was John McClane’s confidant, his best friend, his rock, and his savior. It’s no stretch to say that without Sgt. Powell there’s no way McClane ever gets out of Nakatomi Plaza. So it’s nothing short of a travesty that Reginald VelJ’s role in the sequel was limited to a desk-jockey cameo:
But in his two minutes on-screen VelJohnson shines, giving a Masters class on eating a Twinkie while talking on the phone. And this scene really breaks down what an exciting, tumultuous time the early 90s were. Fax machines! Insurance companies! The ol’ in-laws! Fax numbers! Pissing in pools! It truly is a snapshot of 1990.
WAKE UP AND SMELL THE 90s! It smells like VelJohnson!
(Completely Made-up Fun Fact: the role played by Samuel L. Jackson in Die Hard with a Vengeance was originally written for Reginald VelJohnson to reprise Sgt. Powell. Strange, but not true!)
One of our consistently most popular posts is our review of January Jones’ turn as host of SNL from November of 2009, titled January Jones Was the Worst Host Ever on the Worst Episode of ‘SNL’ Ever, so it’s not surprising that among today’s top search terms is “january jones worst host.” But we’re not going to talk about how terrible she was that night (we’ve spent enough time on that), nor are we going to discuss how horrible we thought she was on Mad Men. No, today we’re going to talk about an upcoming January Jones project that we fear might be just as bad.
Earlier this week the first images from X-Men: First Class surfaced, featuring January Jones as the White Queen Emma Frost, and it doesn’t look promising. To Jones’ credit, the whole photo is panic-inducing, not just her part of it (although the look on her face doesn’t help).
To be fair, director Matthew Vaughn has shot back asserting that this is an unofficial photo that does not reflect the look of the film. Which is somewhat reassuring. Still, that doesn’t make us comfortable with the idea of Jones as Frost, and nor does it assuage our concern that once again an X-Men movie has chosen to neglect the many proven storylines in favor of a hodgepodge of plot points and characters from the comics combined with an original narrative. It just seems silly to disregard so many revered and beloved stories. And by setting this film in the 60s, and including characters who appear in the other films or are related to characters in the other films, it totally confuses the cinematic timeline. We won’t get into the geeky specifics here, but this is why bringing a comic book to the screen can be so complicated. In the comic book world super heroes really don’t age, so it’s no big deal for someone to look the same in 1965 as they do in 2005. But it becomes much trickier with movies, and we think setting this film decades before the previous X-Men films invites too many contradictions. But we’ll just have to wait until June to find out.
And come back here then to read our review, “January Jones Was the Worst Actress in the Worst X-Men Film Ever.”
Jumped The Snark 
