Last night Prince Fielder became only the second player to win the MLB Home Run Derby twice, equaling the feat achieved by Ken Griffey, Jr (whose success in the event can no doubt be attributed to the freedom to wear his Mariners cap in his preferred backwards position, enlivening him and providing optimal comfort in the batter’s box). The derby itself, taking place at the Kansas City ballpark that most of the country just learned is named Kauffman Stadium, was an interminable display that painfully reflected the American ideal of bigger is better, an incessant cacophony of bombastic, intolerable, verging on nauseating home run calls (the half-life on Chris Berman’s “back, back, back, back….GONE!” is exactly two). Three hours into it, and there we still were for some reason, watching Prince Fielder and runner-up Jose Bautista tee-off on meatballs lobbed in by AARP-card carrying batting practice pitchers (or, in Robinson Cano’s case, disappointed fathers). One can only watch baseballs be launched into centerfield fountains so many times before the tweens earnestly but unsuccessfully shagging pop flies quickly become vastly more entertaining. We freely admit that there was a time when we were once highly engaged in the Home Run Derby. But now, what we wouldn’t give for Roger McDowell and a cow in right field.
But it wasn’t just our yearning for something more exciting and less vacant that reminded us of MTV’s Rock N’ Jock Softball. We couldn’t help watch Prince Fielder deposit ball after ball into the right field stands and not remember first seeing him as a young boy accompanying his father Cecil “Big Daddy” Fielder at those true mid-summer classics. Unfortunately, as Grantland notes in its superb primer on the halcyon days of Rock N’ Jock, video of those games is stunningly difficult to find online. You can spot Cecil in the starting lineup during the Star Spangled Banner in one of the earlier match-ups, but that’s about it. Other than that brief appearance, tragically, there’s no video evidence that Cecil was a Salamander or an Aardvark, let alone any footage from those MTV broadcasts that show a young baseball prodigy named Prince, and we’re all losers for it.
However, there is some proof of Prince’s early talent. However, this phenom ability was found in throwing a baseball, not sending it 440 feet with a Louisville Slugger, as illustrated by this 1992 McDonald’s commercial with Cecil.
We recently received this email from Major League Baseball promoting a special performance by former American Idol finalist Adam Lambert at the MLB Fan Cave, the corner storefront in Greenwich Village where a bunch of super-fans hole up and watch every MLB game (kinda like The Real World, but instead of Puck picking his nose and putting his fingers in the peanut butter, there’s a dude who swears that Ryan Braun has an STD).
And this got us thinking: what percentage of Major League Baseball fans are also strident Adam Lambert loyalists? How many people are both excited about the MLB Fan Cave and Lambert’s #CaveConcert? So we did a little statistical analysis and graphed our results using a Venn diagram.
Last week the New York Yankees headed down to D.C. for an interleague matchup with the Nationals, just a week after the Mets also visited the nation’s capital to take on their division rivals. Now we’re generally enormous Mets fans, but this year our enthusiasm is even more fervent than usual, with a roster that’s featured thus far an especially young, gritty and fun team, a Mets team we’re proud to watch. And not only do we watch religiously, we also spend far too much time following Mets beat reporters on Twitter, obsessively checking the Mets blog, and reading articles by local sports columnists. So with the amount of attention we grant to NY baseball, we couldn’t help but notice some similarities on the city’s back pages when the Mets and Yankees each took a turn against the Nationals.
It’s not out of the ordinary to see two very similar headlines among the city’s big three commuter papers (and sometimes three similar headlines), but those instances usually occur on the same day, when they can point to the rapid speed of overnight journalism as a reason for the doppelgänger. When you have three hours to turn around a newspaper, and, often, much less time to write and set the back page, it’s not surprising that the Post may print the same or a very similar headline as Newsday (like yesterday, for example) – great journalistic minds think alike – but in the triad above the Newsday super-headline was printed the day after the Daily News‘s “Capital Pains” headline (and after a different but still excruciating Mets loss). The Post headline, “Capital Gains,” came nearly a week later (after the Yankees handed the Mets three more excruciating losses), so certainly there was plenty of time to see the two prior “Capital” back pages and brainstorm some other DC-related copy. But, we reckon, in the newspaper world you just can’t turn down a good pun. And we respect that.
Today we continue our look at some of Growing Pains more memorable – or notorious – moments, especially those bits of dialogue or storylines that surprised (or mildly stunned) us when we rewatched the show as an adult.
One of the episodes of Growing Pains that we remember most from our youth, one that stuck with us all throughout childhood and beyond, is Season One’s “Reputation.” In this episode Mike Seaver* prepares, fully intends, to cheat on his Civil War exam in Mr. Dewitt‘s history class, writing key dates, names and locations on the soles of his largest pair of sneakers. But a funny thing happened on the way to the test: he actually learned the answers, and when the time came he didn’t need to take a peek at the bottom of his Reeboks. He absorbed and retained that information, and in much the same way we absorbed and retained this episode. It was because of this episode that we’ve known for as long as we can recall that Abraham Lincoln was the 16th President of the United States, and Andrew Johnson took over after Lincoln was assassinated in 1865. Yes, we’ve always had an aptitude for history, but we feel entirely comfortable crediting Growing Pains with teaching us about this specific and significant event in US history. And in addition to the lesson this episode provided, we also vividly recalled Mike Seaver’s stirring, high-pitched, plea of innocence to his parents – “I did not cheat!” and Jason Seaver’s surprising but unwavering belief in his son’s word. If we didn’t already have a father who loved and trusted us, we would have desperately wanted Jason Seaver to serve that role. And even though we weren’t in the market for a replacement parent, we never forgot or stopped admiring Jason’s unconditional love.
But despite having such a strong connection to this episode, something did take us quite aback when we years later watched the episode on DVD, Mike’s explanation to Ben about the crib-sheet sneakers.
We’re not sure what’s more hard to believe, that they so casually equated a black guy with the basketball team, or that there would actually be a black student in their white, upper-middle class, Long Island suburban paradise (a neighborhood not unlike the one we grew up in). We’re racking our brains trying to come up with a single black character on the show, and we’re coming up empty (Apparently Growing Pains was the Girlsof its day). But it is the first reaction – the flippant political incorrectness – that really struck us. We could envision a line like that a few years later on a more provocative show like Married with Children, but it’s not like Growing Pains was ever considered edgy.But, then again, the TV landscape has changed, and while you can say, do and show more now, you can also say, do and show less. As the limits of sex and violence and vulgarity have expanded over the last twenty-five years, you can make the argument that the levels of political correctness and racial sensitivity have conversely, almost paradoxically, expanded in kind. Appomattox Court House, captain of the Dewey High School basketball team, is a perfect example of this.
*We’ve been talking about the New York Mets a lot lately, so it’s worth noting here that the Seavers were named in honor of Baseball Hall of Famer Tom Seaver, who just this past Sunday was named to the Mets All-Time Team as right-handed starting pitcher. Also named to the team as the all-time lefty starter was Jerry Koosman, which not coincidentally is the surname of the Seaver’s next-door neighbors.
It’s officially over now. Sue Simmons signed off NBC 4 New York nightly news for the final time last Friday night, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the studio (or on our face). However, the night was not without some touching tributes from local personalities who love Sue just as much as we do, including some former and current New York Mets. It certainly says something about Sue that she inspires such adulation in the people who we ourselves revere. She’s bigger than New York sports, bigger than Jimmy Fallon, and, now, bigger than NBC News. Here’s hoping we see her again real soon (please, please take up Terry Collin’s offer).
Just yesterday we mentioned how we much revere the World Champion 1986 New York Mets. And then this comes along. And just slays us. And no doubt made everyone else in the coffee shop wonder why we were staring at the computer screen, completely slack-jawed, on the verge of joyful tears. Our new favorite.
Today some of you ended up here by searching for the term “lorne michaels,” and it’s no surprise that query directed you to this blog, as rarely an SNL post goes by without a mention the father of the Not Yet Ready For Prime Time Players. But you already know about Lorne Michaels: creator of SNL, executive producer of Late Night, inspiration for Dr. Evil, point of obsession for Marc Maron, Canadian. So we tried to find something different, something new, and in doing so came across a sketch titled “Not Lorne Michaels.” Except, upon watching the sketch, we discovered that Hulu must have posted the wrong clip. The description says “Tommy Flanagan tricks Rosanna Arquette into her thinking he’s executive producer Lorne Michaels,” but what plays is an introduction from New York Mets pitcher Ron Darling, apologizing to the audience for the Mets’ epic game six victory in the 1986 World Series, an extra-innings affair that preempted SNL and resulted in the episode airing on tape delay two weeks later, new but not live. This fascinated us for three reasons: 1) we’re colossal Mets fans, and basically worship the 1986 team as if they are demigods, 2) we didn’t know their victory had an effect on something we love with almost as much reverence, and 3) a clip that is titled “Not Lorne Michaels” is also not the right clip. It’s almost as if Lorne was determined to get the last laugh, refusing to let anyone impersonate him. Either that or someone at Hulu just totally screwed up.
Keeping with today’s theme, we’re going to address the recent rumblings about Queen Latifah’s sexuality. Last month word spread across the blogosphere that Queen Latifah declared herself a lesbian at the Long Beach Pride Festival on May 19th. But she later denied those reports, explaining that her unity with the gay community does not necessarily equate with her coming out of the closet, and she refuses to comment further either way. And we respect her feelings on the matter and her preference to keep her private life private. But we don’t care either way; you be you, Queen. What do know, however, is that the girl can play ball, for whatever that’s worth.
Take a look at this classic highlight from the 1994 MTV Rock’n’Jock B-Ball Jam and draw your own conclusions. Or don’t. Or do and keep them to yourself. That’s your right too.
Editors note: We have a Google Tasks list of potential blog posts that dates back to 2009, and the oldest entry on the list is this post. It’s not topical, nor is it very interesting, but it’s just something we needed to do to move on. This is our closure.
If you’re like us, and why wouldn’t you be, you spend several hours a day listening to The Fan 660AM, New York’s flagship station for the Mets, Giants, Nets and Devils, and the grandaddy of sports talk radio stations. And, if you’re like us, and, again, why wouldn’t you be, there’s one commercial that they’ve been airing – what seems like ever hour – for years now, Kars for Kidz. Yes, the jingle is the kind of thing that is best used when dousing a bound and gagged hostage with kerosene, complementing the perfect nightmarish Hellscape, but what has been a greater mystery to us is the concept. Kars for Kidz? Are you trading in a convertible for orphaned children? Donating money to provide Power Wheels for toddlers? Auctioning off your own son for a 1992 Nissan Stanza? We just don’t know. And we never will. Because we refuse to do any research.
If you know how Kars for Kids actually works, please do not tell us. In the words of Joey Pants, ignorance is bliss.
Occasionally we like to stray from our usual posts about TGIF and Jason Sudeikis and talk sports. As much as we love pop culture and television and Internet nonsense, a lot of our time is also taken up by watching, reading up on, and listening to sports (which, unfortunately, leaves us little time for much else). And with the 2012 Major League Baseball season nearly upon us, we thought we’d take a few minutes to explain why things may not be so bleak for our beloved NY Mets, even if these reasons seem completely counterintuitive.
1. Jose Reyes is No Longer a Met
Yep, the same Jose Reyes that won the NL Batting Title last season, and who was the best player in baseball for stretches in the first half. That guy. The same Jose Reyes who is the Mets all-time leader in triples, runs and steals, who can excite a ballpark like no other player we’ve ever seen. When he’s on his game, there may be no more dynamic, electric player in the sport. Yep, that’s the guy we’re happy to have off our roster.
Occasionally we like to stray from our usual posts about 
Jumped The Snark 