Category Archives: Top Scallop

Orange Crocs Really Aren’t Appropriate White House Attire, Mario Batali

It’s one thing to wear bright orange Crocs when competing in Kitchen Stadium.  It’s another thing to wear them to a film premiere.

And it’s a whole ‘nother thing to wear them to the White House.

At Jumped The Snark we’ve followed the Crocs trend among chefs, from the cheftestants on Top Chef to the granddaddy of Croc-clad cooks, Molto Mario Batali.  And while the footwear is indeed silly it seems that one could make a legitimate argument for the functionality of Crocs in the kitchen.  And Batali normally gets a pass because his orange Crocs have become his trademark, so much that they were even included on the feet of the rabbit character he voiced in Fantastic Mr. Fox.  However, for the latest Iron Chef special event “Super Chef Battle,” in which Batali, Iron Chef Bobby Flay and “Super Chef” Emeril Lagasse visit the White House, wethinks Chef Batali might have chosen a more formal shoe.  At least something with laces.  Do plastic slippers really belong on the White House lawn?

White House/Orange Crocs

And hey, this is not to say there’s anything wrong with orange.  It can work.  Just look at the First Lady.  Classy, demure, hip; the woman has style.  Perhaps Batali can swap recipes for fashion tips.

But, to Batali’s credit, every time I seem him in Kitchen Stadium I’m consistently impressed by his uncanny cool and sense of whimsy, not to mention the ease in which he prepares and presents what I can only assume are mind-blowing dishes.  While “Super Chef” Lagasse was running around like mad, sweating into his three remoulades and nearly burning a turkey roulade, Batali appeared to be working in first gear, moving even slower than the honey from the White House beehive that he poured from an unnecessarily great height.  But despite his lack of urgency, he was working with a deft hand, and seemed to create food brilliance (might help that he has another full-fledged Food Network personality as his sous-chef).  So either he’s about the best chef going or at least one of the most eccentric.

But I can only imagine what kind of furor the orange Crocs would have elicited had the challenge taken place in Japan.  Those guys take their cooking very seriously.  Just ask Bobby Flay.

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Filed under Team Zissou, The Sixth Taste, Top Scallop

Gentlemen, Start Your Crocs!

It’s finally arriving tonight: the Top Chef finale! (unless, of course, Bravo teases us and airs a rerun instead as they’ve been known to do.  Just to screw with me.  But it seems pretty official that it’s happening tonight.  If you consider the blogosphere official.  And facts.  Assuming you think facts are official)

It’s a six-legged race between one Voltaggio, another Voltaggio and the one that’s not a Voltaggio (Kevin!).  Here’s how it stacks up:

The Favorite: Kevin.  The man has just been nails all season, delivering simple, yet elegant food (like a nice cardigan).  He’s the Iceman of Top Chef, except impossibly polite (and not kinda homo-erotic).

Who Do I Want To Win: Bryan.  Love the fact that he seems incapable of displaying human emotion.  It’s not that he’s a robot.  He clearly has a heart, it’s just that you can’t tell if he’s ecstatic or livid or asleep.  But his food has uniformly looked delicious and complex without being smug.  And how cute was it when he bought that stuffed animal for his daughter?  Aww!

Who Do I Think Will Win: Michael.  He’s been running neck a neck a neck all season with his brother and Kevin, but his biggest competition may have been his own ambition (see what I did there?).  He’s the biggest risk taker of the three, and having the chance to do the traditional progression we’re betting that he’s going to be able to pull it all together and truly wow the judges with intense flavor profiles and interesting textures and avocado foams and other words they say a lot.  Also, if he doesn’t win, someone might get hurt, whereas Bryan and Kevin will be gracious losers.  So for the sake of the judge’s own safety (and Padma’s ‘lil bear cub), they might hand the title to Michael V (ah, just kidding, Mike!  I’m sure you won’t hurt anyone if you lose.  We’re just having a good time, that’s all!).

While you count down the minutes on your egg timer until the finale, you can check out Jen talking about how she’s become an inspiration to Philadelphia’s female youth (take that, Rocky!):

Vodpod videos no longer available.

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, Top Scallop

The Connection Between Wes Anderson, Mario Batali & ‘Top Chef’ Revealed

(Hint: It’s the Crocs)

And speaking of these things, Top Chef finally returns tonight!  Until then, play the Match the Tattoo game! (guess they didn’t have enough Croc-wearers for a Match the Crocs game.  Shame)

And if you still need more Wes Anderson you can check out a recent profile done on him by New Yorker (subscription required), and if you’re feeling a little less elitist, then click over and read Videogum’s effusive praise for Fantastic Mr. Fox.  Agreed!

More later y’alls!

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Filed under Team Zissou, The Big Screen, The Sixth Taste, Top Scallop

Carefully With Those Chili Peppers, Guy Fieri, Don’t Want To Get Too Extreme!

Food + Rock + 25 Gallon Margarita Machine + DJ = Guy Fieri Road Show!

Finally (!) more details have emerged about the Guy Fieri Road Show, where Food Meets Rock (again, finally!!!).  In a Q&A with the LA Times Mr. Fieri answers all our burning questions about this unique concert/cooking experience.  In talking about the origins of the show, Fieri thought “What if we take a cooking demonstration and fortify it with a lot of good music?. . . . Drive it to the next level?”  And here, this whole time, I thought the idea is to fortify cooking with unique flavor profiles, or at least some essential vitamins and minerals.  The good news?  Fieri says that the show will be “everything they won’t let me do on TV,” which we presume means that he’ll now be allowed to wear his sunglasses properly and put on a pair of pants.

Gets even better!  Want the chance to try a margarita made in a 6 ft, 25 gal mixer?  How about the opportunity to sample The “Bomb” Calamari or “Maui Onion Straws?”  Want to sit closer to the DJ who will be playing “everything from old school rock ‘n’ roll to theme-oriented stuff?”  Well, for $250 you can sit on the stage and have your dream come true!

Killer.

Via Pop Candy

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Filed under Tex Wasabi's, The Sixth Taste, Top Scallop

More Crocs on Top Chef! But Still Way Behind Tattoos for Most Common Cheftestant Accessory

Months ago I lamented the departure of Top Chef Cheftestant and Hati survivor Ron Duprat, he of the red Crocs.  We were going to miss his jolly laugh, his trouble understanding the meaning of words like “vice” and “deconstructed,” and his revolting cocktails.  But most of all we were going to miss his plastic footwear, the fire truck red slip-ons that made him stand out from the rest.

It was then, with great pleasure, that I realized it appears that perennial challenge finalist and lover of all things pork Kevin Gillespie has been sporting his own pair of Crocs this whole time, albeit a much a less fashionable black set.  Looking back, it was very hard to pick this up, as they just as easily could have been confused for a pair of black boots.  But if you know what you’re looking for then you can (sorta) make out the Crocs, like in this picture from the Penn & Teller episode.

Kevin Gillespie

More photos of Crocs!

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, Top Scallop

You’re Not There to Make Friends. But Are You There to Cook Good Food? Questionable.

On this week’s Top Chef chefstant and house mother/pariah Robin joined the hallowed ranks of reality TV competitors like Omarosa and Kelly Wiglesworth who have uttered the now legendary phrase “I’m not here to make friends.”  This reminded me of a segment from the recent This American Life episode, “Frenemies.” In this act, titled “I am here to make frenemies,” Rich Juzwiak of the blog foufour details the evolution and now ubiquity of this quote in reality TV shows.  He also put together a thorough “I’m not here to make friends” highlight reel.  Enjoy!

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Filed under Century 21 Reality, Other people's stuff, Top Scallop, Virulent

Bravo Plays Me For a Fool Yet Again

Well, I guess you can ignore that last post, as when we loaded up the DVR to watch Top Chef we found that there was, in fact, no new episode last night. Bravo has a tendency to do this, both with Top Chef and Project Runway (when it aired on the net), showing you scenes from the next episode, but failing to inform you that said episode will not air the following week. Building me up and breaking me down (perhaps the blame is really on me for letting Top Chef become the highlight of my week, but I refuse to become Bravo’s scapegoat).

On the bright side this means that Ron gets to stay in the spotlight for one more week, and it’s an excuse for another Ron Duprat/Carl Winslow comparison.

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Filed under Impatience, TGIF, Top Scallop

Farewell to My Favorite Top Chef

Spoiler ahead if you didn’t yet watch last week’s Top Chef!!!

As we count down the hours until episode 7 of Top Chef: Las Vegas let us take a moment to look back and honor its most recent exile, Chef Ron Duprat.  His childlike wonder delighted us through half a dozen episodes, and although at times it seemed he didn’t know how to make most dishes, and often appeared completely lost, you have to tip your cap to a man who walked around the Vegas desert asking the other contestants for a sword.  Why he needed a sword to make a coconut lime tuna ceviche we’ll never know (we’ll also never really grasp what a coconut lime tuna ceviche is), but you have to appreciate his thinking outside the box (or maybe the sword was intended for his universally reviled Haitian Mojito.  Again, why he’d need a sword for that…oh, maybe he meant like those little plastic swords for cherries that are sometimes used instead of toothpicks).  But, despite Ron’s innovation, he was unable to survive a disappointing deconstructed paella (or as judge Toby Young calls it, pa-ella, like the Rhianna jam. Pa-ella, ella, ella) even though paella is a dish Ron claims he makes everyday in his restaurant.  As his self-proclaimed vice was coming to the US from Hati in a small boat, methinks Ron was a little confused during some of the challenges, and this was pretty obvious when Eli and Kevin tried to explain what deconstruction means.  I think it broke Ron’s brain.

Huh?

Ron, your limitations be damned!  We toast to you with a disgusting Mojito.  Without you the incidence of red Crocs has been reduced by a stunning 100%.

Ron Red Crocs

Luckily, the saturation of tattoos remains at record levels.

Neck Tatoo

Nice.

No word yet it Reginald VelJohnson will play Ron in the Top Chef Vegas movie, but I hear they are in talks.

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Filed under Must See TV, TGIF, Top Scallop