Opening Shot: The Kids Stay Out of the Picture

We intended to make this breathtaking photo last week’s Parting Shot, but, as we often do, we totally forgot. So, instead, let’s kick off this week with a bang, an Opening Shot.

Obviously, this beautiful, heartwarming Tanner family portrait graciously Tweeted by Andrea Barber (née Kimmy Gibbler) raises two important questions: 1) Who are the old dudes, and 2) where are the Olsen Twins? We assume that the elderly gentlemen are Thomas Miller and Robert Boyett, the namesakes of Miller-Boyett Productions and the foremen of the late 80s-early 90s TGIF hit (and miss) factory. As for Mary-Kate and Ashley, we imagine they either got tangled up in a tandem wool poncho or were still waiting for their venti lattes from Starbucks, not realizing that the two cups languishing on the counter for several hours labeled Murray and Ashlie were indeed theirs. Certainly, their absence is not the result of spite or bitterness, because who would willingly miss an opportunity to hear Bob Saget deliver the Aristocrats in person?

Also missing from the family reunion are Blake and Dylan Tuomy-Whilhoit, who played little Nicky and Alex Katsopolis respectively. While no one has seen or heard from them since 1995, we have a theory that Blake and Dylan are, in fact, Tia and Tamara Mowry. Implausible, yes, but impossible? When it comes to TGIF, nothing is impossible.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Conspiracy Theory, Parting Shot, TGIF, Wake Up, SF!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s